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Intellectual Checkmate
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Note: this is an article about an Encyclopedia Dramatica user. For more information, please see the appropriate user page. To leave this user a message, please visit User_Talk:Goronchev.
| —Goronchev |
| Any insults or criticisms made toward this user will immediately be argued in an eight-minute long YouTube post where the word "destroyed" will be used over 9000 times. |
Goronchev (aka Smugfag, MrThreePercent, Ron Lamp, and "Two-Tug Ron") is a 29-year-old, short, skinny, racist, balding, homosexual, steroid-abusing Angelino pedophile attention whore with an impossibly small dick who lives with and works for his parents dad (Mom died of Cancer Lulz) as a Virginbus technician. Smugfag realized that the only way he could make friends IRL would be to make extremely shitty tl;dw videos of him talking about his scripted-out sexual fantasies which he likes to pretend are true. As a side note, Smugfag is insecure, and likes to make up barely-believable lies to make him feel good about himself.
Smugfag is exactly like every other camwhore on the internets, only he receives the vaunted ability "Intellectual Checkmate", despite the fact that noone understands what it is.
Smugfag also claims that ED and Anon are not serious business, but still likes to excessively BAWWWWWWW about them every chance he gets.
WARNING TO THE ED REGULAR: Goronchev has now declared warz on anonymous citing that he is more powerful than the ENTIRE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY. His viewership has declined and he wants to gain more by pulling a fetch. We do not take him srs and decline his intellectual checkmate. Although, taking down his faggy site would be ideal.
Contents |
[edit] Season 1
WARNING: This article was written by pre pubescent newfags who should stop obsessing over a troll and get a fucking girlfriend
Smugfag appeared on 4chan in June of 2007 when a video of him was posted on /b/ in which he claimed victory over the "misc. section". Paranoid baby Anonimii ceased fapping to delicious caek long enough to gangraep his Youtube with negative feedback, video responses, and mash their keyboards to produce spam comments (Consisting of DESU DESU DESU in natural /b/tard fashion). As things turned out he was actually attacking the Misc. section at bodybuilding.com. Smugfag's attack on the Misc. section described his "intellectual checkmate" of Misc. by "using them like a condom" [1]. /b/ was slow to realize that they were not his target and initially believed this was an insult, albeit a hilariously inept one, and this explains the initial fury of /b/. [2]. Even after the mistake was discovered, the attacks continued as his smugness made him an instant hit with /b/tards, who enjoyed making fun of his balding head, childlike voice, and ridiculous claims about his sex life and intellectual abilities.
After Goronchev was suspended he continued with his spurious claims as MrThreePercent (Named after his penis size, which is 97% smaller than average). He began to make moar videos about the imaginary groups of beautiful women driving miles across the continent to harness his man-meat [3]; this is how he compensates for having a small penis, and being a basement-dwelling hermit.
He also obsesses about his body, despite the fact that he has a perfectly round, balding, childlike head. [4]
On a Stickam session June 21st, 2007, Smugfag admitted to having a bestiality fetish, and a particular fondness for horse cocks. He also claimed to have an 8 and 3/4 inch penis, which he refused to show on camera because he's a lying piece of shit. During the session, he claimed to be talking to two German girls who had had sex with her uncle's horse at his farm, and another who apparently licked her own clitoris on camera. Since the Stickam session was friends only, pics or it didn't happen applies. Smugfag notably said that 4chan would pay thousands of dollars to view the horse sex videos. This is the first known time Smugfag has acknowledged /b/.
[edit] Kbob08 Controversy
A YouTube user named Kbob08 used to plague Goronchev with video responses. Once upon a time, ALL of Kbob's videos were video responses to Goronchev with the exception of his very first video which was just a retarded blob of fail where he showed his bad taste in games. One day, feeling daring, Kbob decided to flame Goronchev using a video response. This prompted Goronchev to man the harpoons and ended their relationship. Goronchev thoroughly "skewered and exposed" Kbob in a video response to a video response for his video, or some shit nobody cares about. Kbob deleted all Goronchev-related videos when TwinsanityNtranced was bashing on Kbob about being an attention leech.
As a tribute to their once strong gay relationship, Goronchev still keeps his Kbob related videos uploaded for lulz at the expense of his internet stalker. This victory by Goronchev only served to increase his already inflated ego and HUEG sense of unwarrented self-importance.
The war on Smugfag eventually faded into nothing as Smugfag disappeared slowly from the internet and /b/ moved on to newer targets.
[edit] Season 2
Then in October, he returned! Based primarily in his revived Goronchev account, Smugfag immediately declared war upon 4chan, 420chan and all the other chans. He declared that he was chargin his lazer after a year of sleeping with his head on his cock, his cock on his ass, and butter in his ass, he awoke from his slumber with revenge points of OVER NINE THOUSAND.
His first move was to declare his superiority over /b/ and his empire over YouTube. In his words, "Season 2" will be a massacre of /b/ and he will avenge the old goatse /b/ accidentally mistook for him, simply by the equal full-body condom size. Yes, he tried to defeat us by saying we're not funnay and racist even though we're high on hugs, kisses and fucking things. He nearly blew his ass out with rage, but what would he think if he knew that the original creator of this article is a 16-year-old boy?
He recently admitted his mother is dead. "This was probably suicide caused by the realization that she had given birth to such a grotesque creature instead of letting the doctor falcon punch her when he revealed that the baby might have at least 100 smug cells." Dr. Anonymous states.
Since he is the most-wanted man on the internet, /b/ wants to make it obvious by making their own accounts to show support for a self-serving website that's run by a popular fat guy called Brett Keane.
[edit] ED is Racist? LOL WUT?
ITA, faggots complain about ED.
Encyclopedia Dramatica is Racist
Goronchev is Moar Racist
Wow, Okay... Moooving on...
| —Goronchev @ 7:13 |
Here is a list of facts from this video.
- Smugfag has the ability to read Encyclopedia Dramatica.
- Jews did WTC
- Someone whose primary source of income is performing menial chores around the house has time too precious to waste on ED.
- Even the intellectually superior can sometimes miss the point.
TL;DR: Smugfag needs to learn English, satire, and the basics of a wiki. He also owes ED $1000 $9001 for wasting our time.
If he wanted to disprove what is stated in this article (bearing in mind that concrete evidence is something he demands from ED) about the various spurious claims he's made, all he would have to do is make his videos public. He has not done this. The one video that is still public is the one where he claims to have received job offers because of his YouTube channel. This, however, is retarded and noone believes such bullshit. Furthermore he claims that he doesn't work for his parents. This may be true, but it was indeed at one point. This can be categorically proven in this video at 19:32 when he says "I work for my parents". He doesn't seem to realize that this page is not updated in real time.
He claims we aren't worth wasting time on right after he finished talking for 13 minutes about us. This is his normal response to videos attacking him and/or anyone talking to, about or in the general vicinity of him. Smugfag also claims to have "intellectually checkmated" ED. Checkmate in chess is when you create a situation where it is impossible for your opponent to make any move whatsoever. So basically he's claiming to have destroyed Anonymous and ED. Neither of these things are even remotely true as he is currently being raeped by the machine.
He also fails to realize that the account smugfag on YouTube, which mirrored his videos, was a troll pointing out his smugness and homosexuality as, by that stage, /b/ had already dubbed him smugfag.
Also take into consideration his hat. WHY I AM SO BALD?! (Lulz, cancer!) For bonus lulz watch some of his early videos, watch middle ones, watch recent ones. You can almost see the hair thinning.
In a true display of faggotry, Smugfag made attempts to delete this article, which of course failed because he does not understand that wikis keep histories of pages. Clearly he did not study Computer Science III.
If someone can help get these pics to image mode, thank you, for your serious business.
Smugfag was a bald Hitler all this time. [[5]]
Goronchev apparently has been drugged, and is ready to be gang raped. [[6]]
Smugfag, or Goronchev if you like is being raped right now by Anonymous.
[[7]]
Smugfag tries to get away with anything by moving his eyes around. LYING!
[[8]]
Goronchev, cannot get enough to get ready for cock action from his smugmouth.
[[9]]
Goronchev or Smugfag, whatever you like to call him is about be a bawlfag in this picture.
[[10]]
Goronchev can be retarded. I guess we can call him retardchav. Baby wants his bottle.
[[11]]
Goronchev didn't take a dump.
[[12]]
[edit] A Winrar is You
Lulz, guess what? When every other video site doesn't work out for you and your support and views have become shit, what do you do? That's right! You make your very own website! Actually, you have a friend make your very own website. Actually, you have your friend make a channel for your very own website. Actually, you have your friend create a channel with your name on it for a corporate website and call it yours. YAY!!!
The result of this video was one of the greatest eruptions of e-drama the internets has ever known. The video owns Goronchev over 9000 times.
[edit] A Winrar is you, again!
He's back and pwnt him again. Goronchev's in hell getting burnt so many times.
[edit] Season 3
OH NO GUYS, GUESS WHO!? Yep, Goronchev. After claiming in his last ED video that he wasn't going to make a new video on ED because we "are not worth his time" he makes another 7 minute video DESTROYING ED, LoL! I can't wait for Video 3!
[edit] He Destroys ED... again
Another Intellectual Cockmate Yeah the comments, responses and everything are disabled.
Disregard the fact that he's already won "Dipshit of the Year" award for getting a hat with his fucking YouTube username on it. In this video, Ron intellectually checkmates himself by stating that ED selectively targets minority vloggers. He says verbatim that "They will hurl racial epithets at minority vloggers, but I've never seen them do that to white vloggers...They most certainly do NOT treat all equally". This is stupid on so many levels that's it's tough to know where to begin. First of all, anybody that's been on YouTube longer than 2 minutes will notice that it has about 5 minority vloggers, total. Secondly, hurling racial epithets at a white person is about as effective as fighting fatness with cheeseburgers. Third, you're reading an article that "targets" a white vlogger right fucking now. Fourthly, he repeatedly states "they leave people's phone numbers and addresses up for days" without realizing that Encyclopedia Dramatica is a wiki. Also, he says "what's gayer than a man trying to find another man's address?" which means that every single man on Earth who has ever tried to get a friend or family member's address is gay. His dad has probably tried to find someone's address at least once, which means he is gay...he may also have tried to find the address of someone in his family, which means he's an incestuous fag. Smugfag "personally" thinks that racist jokes aren't funny. He obviously believes that his opinion of comedy represents everyone's on the planet. If Smugfag doesn't think it's funny, it isn't.
0:50-1:01 - Goronchev looking back on the good old days. 6:29 - lol What friends?
"I'm coming to his apartments to rape his anus". I know where he is lives now.
[edit] Not Gay
As mentioned previously, Goronchev is rather insecure about himself. One of the major insecurities he faces is his sexuality. While one can clearly determine from his steroid body suit and overall personality that he possesses traits similar to that of a typical fudge-packer, Goronchev uses his incredible wit to lie about it. Why else would a self-proclaimed heterosexual feel the need to constantly validate this point to random people on the interweb?
| —Methinks Goronchev doth protest too much |
| —Smugfag, remarking on his favorite activity. |
Smugfag apparently has a girlfriend, and states that according to HOTorNOT, she is a 10/107.1/10*. 10/10 on the fugly scale is moar like it. It is possible that she's MTF.
To keep with his denial of his homosexuality, Goronchev likes to make videos talking about how he had epic sex with various lolis and how they really enjoyed it. All of his totally true sex stories are usually humorous, which is strange because sex is only hilarious when it involves clowns.
Using THE POWER OF ONLINE VIDEO COMMUNICATION, Goronchev took his heterosexuality to new heights of faggotry. Women and men everywhere can now laugh at his pathetic deviant sexual fantasies, upon which they told him to STFU and GTFO and was subsequently chased back to his hugbox to escape the evil internet whores.
*HOTorNOT uses a regulation system that accounts for half of the graph, making the results seem bigger than they actually are. Smugdyke is really a 3.5! Lulz!
On February 27th, 2008 at approximately 10:15 PM EST, Goronchev was spotted in the CAM or GTFO chatroom of Stickam.com. At this time, he openly made a challenge towards a female member concerning his superiority over females in giving oral stimulation of the penis. This further supports Goronchev quest in proving that he is not gay.
But really, did he really record himself looking at some camwhores, since the camera is facing him. He fails to realize, that there is proof that he is gay.
Smugfag has a fetish for Vagoo, Dildo, Dildo in the Vagoo, Fingering, Getting Fingered in the Asshole, Gay Pedophilic Porn.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=MZq7gXxIswY
In this video, he tries to admit that he did not try to the move on his friends because he is lying. He even invites you to taste his cum on stickam. So, no matter what he tries, he is always gay in our hearts. Even though, the move was created by anyone, or someone first on urban dictionary http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Helmet+to+Helmet Goronchev still get Intellectually Checkmated.
[edit] Things Smugfag has claimed to have done
- Be fitter than the entire US marine corps[13]
- "Nearly killing a hardcore thug"[14]
- Beating up 30 guys at the same time [15]
- Getting job offers from YouTube [16]
- Intellectually check-mating us [17]
- Had sex. Like, more than once. [18]
- Having a "larger than average penis". Seriously. XD [19]
[edit] Pedophilia
Recently, Goronchev admitted to raeping kids.
After this video, he should become an hero.
[edit] Goronchev is Bothered by Hypocrisy
Goronchev is bothered by, and Intellectual Checkmated by Hypocrisy.
Clearly, as he is bothered by hypocrisy while at the same time practicing it, he has only one option.
AND IT DOESN'T END THERE. IT DOESN'T END THERE. Goronchev haet Hypocrisy even moar:
The video Goronchev doesn't want you to see. The proof of his Gay Pedophilia:
[edit] Myths About Goronchev
Myth: "Goronchev doesn't work for his parents" This one is false. Goronchev actually caught his cancer from his dead mother (Lulz, Smugfag haets when u insult his condition). So because he is a sex slave to his father, he stays there and works.
Myth: "Goronchev actually had sex this one time" This is also false. He is a ginger and they only reproduce by mitosis, not meiosis. So scientifically it's impossible if a woman where to say, be lured into his hive, he couldn't do much more than maybe show her his dildo.
Myth: "Goronchev is NOT a gay pedophile" This one is also false. We have the pictures, videos, and eye witness testimonies to prove it. Click here to see it.
Myth: "Goronchev isn't sick" The fact of the matter is that he is. He is suffering from leukemia and is slowly but surely losing his hair. Without his hat he looks like Frankenstein/That Bald Rapist in Prison. Though he said we cannot remove him from the internets, his cancer will surely can.
Myth: "Goronchev has a dick" This one is empirically untrue. Looking at his blog we see that he used a dildo to fake his penis length. Obviously, pics or it didn't happen.
Myth: "Goronchev cares about black people" This is not true. Lets look at a few quotes from his pos youtube vids:
| —Smugfag |
Myth: "Goronchev haets us" Not true, look at this quote:
| —Smugfag/Goronchev |
[edit] DOX
In case anyone was curious again, his part of the area where he could be found here. But then again, he may have moved since then, but maybe not. Behold the power of google. Incidentally, in case Ron gets butthurt, it's publicly available here combined with the google phonebook. He should have got norton
Check the Hermosa Beach basketball/tennis courts on Google maps, you might want to visit him there at random times, you noticed he did a slam dunk video not long ago on youtube, unknowingly. So you never know, you might bump into him one time. And call him a bald faggot. And gang up on him, by intellectually owning him on the ground. You better watch out, he might defend himself posting another video about gang wars.
[edit] Dr. Anonymous Weighs In
| —Anonymous |
The above is brick-shitting tl;dr. Don't read it. Whoever wrote it is more of a fag than Tom Cruise. Gorbonchev is a more obvious troll than even Tara Gilesbie.
[edit] Smugfag appears on Fox 11 Los Angeles
Goronchev was recently on Faux News to discuss cyber-bullying and Anonymous. He is now an "expert" on cyberbullying. Smugfag gets about 9 seconds worth of face-time. He earlier promoted his television premier on his Jewtube and suggested that perhaps the Fox people would post the rest of his interview on the website.
Remember bulling is rabbit on the internets.
In one of his videos bragging about this incredible feat, he claims that he was "chosen" do an interview, despite the fact that Fox asks people to call in to be screened for these interviews.
WARNING: SMUGFAG IS THE LEADING CORRESPONDENT ON FOX NEWS FOR CYBERBULLYING. HE WAS ON THERE FOR 16 SECONDS (9 SECONDS SPEAKING), EVEN THOUGH HE SHOT OVER 1 HOUR OF FOOTAGE THAT FOX NEVER USED. HE IS BETTER THAN YOU FOR BEING ON FAUX NEWS. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WHERE ON THE NEWS? [20]
LOL removed from youtube for cyberbulling [21]
[edit] Goronchev Haet Anonymous :(
Goronchev, noticing his subscription count is failing, as well as the fact that shitty youtube profiles get as much views as him, has decided to leech off Anon's popularity like one certain faggot recently.
Goatse is more interesting that this 17-minute long video rant.
Overall, his video reeks of defense mechanisms a 12 year old on the playground could spot out. Such as "I NOT GHEY, UR GHEY FUR TRYING 2 DOX ME". The other alternative in his mind is that "OMG THEY TRY TO KILL ME, I HAS GUNS", but fails to realize that doxing is for lulz. He curses in wierd places in order to seem "mature", but ED sees through this. Anonymous Leaders have suggested we leave him alone and lessen his viewer count. All Anons and EDiots currently subscribed should mass unsubscribe to make him BAAAAWWWWWW about it in his next video.
So, in conclusion, Goronchev has jumped the Shark literally in this video [22] and even brags about it on his shitty websites. So, INTELLECTUAL CHECKMATE GORONCHEV.
[edit] Gallery
 Intellectual Checkmate is now a meme. |
 |
 |
 HOLY SHIT! IT IS! |
 |
 Fgt is losing his hair lol. |
 Dressed like a geisha (Moar liek GAY-sha, amirite?) |
 34 on Smugfag |
 Smugfag: Uses people like a condom. |
|||
 Yeah... |
 Supergay! |
 The losing black piece fits him so well. |
[edit] External Links
- [[Image:[[23]]]] When Goronchev wanted to be when he was born.
- Smugfag's Official Website
- Smugfag's MySpace
Smugfag's OTHER MySpayceLol private- Smugfag's Stickam
- Smugfag's OTHER Stickam made to hide from anon
- Smugfag's 3rd Stickam profile made to hide from himself
- Smugfag's YouTube
Smugfag's OTHER YouTubeLol suspendedSpoof YouTube created by a /b/tardSuspended- Smugfag's LiveVideo
- yourvision.magnify.net LOL CHECK THIS OUT: his failed video site
- Goronchev's Gayspot He intentionally left comments enabled for people to flame, because he gets jewgold from google for each visit. Make sure you use an adblocker.
Smugfag's Community College, made of fail and AIDSDidn't go to College, OH LAWD!Whining about High SchoolLol private[24][25][26] Smugfag declaring war on various chansZOMG Private? How are we going to stroke your e-peen now???- Smugfag on FOX11 NEWS He calls himself a 'victim'.
- [27] Where he visits for research before and after he wants to make a crybaby victory video against haters
[edit] See Also
- Unwarranted self-importance
- Internet tough guy
- Not Gay
- Lolcow
- Asking for it
- GreenTeaGirlie
- Kbob08
- Ugly
- Pedophile
- Failure
- Idiot
 |
Intellectual Checkmate is part of a series on YouTube |
| Visit the YouTube Portal for complete coverage. |
tl;dr This guy is an enormous faggot.
Categories: YouTube | Abnormal Psych | Internets Phenomena | People | 4chan | Memes
