McDonald's
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
McDonald's' is a place where fat ugly rednecks and niggers go to eat cheap, processed, greasy food for less, and is the symbol of American gluttony.
Founded by Ronald McDonald at least 100 years ago in Britain, the restaurant was originally a glue factory, using extracted fat from millions of dying children to make the glue, but it wasn't until Ronald McDonald Jr migrated to the US that McDonald's began to serve the fatty glue as food.
Now a major political and military superpower, McDonald's has established many cells (called franchises) in countries all over the world, where they continue to kill innocent Chinese kids with American poison, at which time the bloated yellow carcasses are stripped of their delicious meat and sold back in America as Happy Meals.
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[edit] Ronald McDonald
In 1968, hamburgerologists working at the Rand Corporation were horrified to discover that overdosing on McDonald's food would eventually lead to a degenerative disease called "Kroc's Syndrome." Symptoms include loss of skin pigmentation, frizzy red hair, and complete fucking-up of the fashion sense beyond even the ability of any queer guy to correct. These symptoms, in the ailment's initial phase, were accompanied by an increased predilection for everything boys and girls like to do. In a typical philanthropic gesture, McDonald's began a series of public-service ads starring Kroc's Syndrome sufferer Ronald McDonald, who presents the important message, "Kids! Don't eat hamburgers!"
Many clones exist of him, which prove his ties with Mcpedo. Due to addiction to this greasy, nutrient-free diet, celebrity Michael Jackson is also afflicted with Kroc's Syndrome, though in his case, intervention and a stay in a Hollywood rehab clinic were able to save him before the final effects of the disease appeared.
[edit] Nobel prize nomination
In 2007, because of the jews, McDonald's missed out on winning a Nobel peace prize by a width of cunt hair.
Comments by judges on McDonald's: "for their efforts to feed financially disadvantaged families and children around the world by providing affordable food that even generously exceeds vital nutrition, and to lay the foundations for the potential diabetic communities"
The prize went to the Emperor of the Moon and inventor of the Internets for his work on the introduction of mess hysteria of slightly warmer climate all over the places.
[edit] McDonalds and the "Gay Agenda"
Many christians were butthurt over the fact that McDonalds supports the "gay agenda".[1]
[edit] McDonalds did WTC
Sometime aroundabout last Thursday, McDonalds were under fire for allegedly sponsoring potato-hungry Irish terrorist/freedom fighter group teh I.R.A. It was claimed that for every UK pound McDonalds made, they would give a penny to the murderous Irish group. This rumour caused lots of UK customers to stop buying Big Macs. Heart attacks and obesity stopped the the rest.
McDonalds employees at the time, were forced to deny the companys involvement with the IRA, if asked any difficult questions by customers (yeah right, like im gonna get involved in political debate on their behalf for £4.25 per hour!).
Mcdonalds had the following to say:
| — Ooooh, THAT I.R.A?. Well, why didn't you say?. |
[edit] All McDonald's Foods Contain Ectasy and AIDS (This section may cause Nightmares)
O SHI-
[edit] They love niggers
[edit] The Gayest Commercial Evar Made
Since McDonald's was losing customers to Burger King with their OMG POKEMON TOYS!!111 they decided to make a new commercial with two young lesbian fugly bitches, in hopes that their friends would go "OMG I NO THEM! THATS FAGGIE AND HER FREND!!! LOL LETS GO EAT THAR!!!" For the most part it worked, all their lesbian friends ran over to the restaurant and om nom nomed everything in sight. For the other part, everyone either got very scared/disturbed or loled and called them retarded fags. Which they are. But they're famous for being gay creeps so go give them a pat on the cock, mmkay?
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