Guitar Hero

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

A typical Guitar Hero player. Note the lack of girls in sight.

Typical gameplay scenarios in Guitar Hero include milking your sponsor.

Guitar Hero is an unoriginal video game that requires you to glue your eyes to the television and hit the same damn buttons for the next 5 minutes. Guitar Hero is the game of choice for all 13 year old boys, as well as emos, punks, stoners, and pedophiles. The only real reason that it's popular is because faggots with Down Syndrome think they are the best guitarist ever. If you see somebody getting 100 percent on expert mode at a GameStop make sure to troll them by pressing the frets while they're playing or "accidentally" bump the guitar.

The fourth (and subsequent) installments branched out into drums and vocals, possibly in attempt to compete with Rock Band. Yup, nothing says "Guitar Hero" like banging on plastic drums. It also has the ability to record your own songs and send them to others.

Gameplay

No, Wikipædia is definitively not skewed toward pop-culture. It's for the childrens!

The idea of the game is to hit colored notes falling down the screen which correspond with guitar sounds in the song you're playing. Star power is implemented by shoving the guitar in your ass and playing notes with your dick. If you can play expert at a decent level it is said you would be able to play a guitar in real life, so long as it's plastic, only has five buttons to hit, no strings, and is hooked up to a gaming system. If it is not anything like the device described above, then you will undoubtedly end up doing it wrong. The game is also known for it's drug-like effects it has on the player; finish a song and look at either a wall or your roof. Does it appear to be sucking itself in?

Warning

It's been scientifically proven that becoming good at Guitar Hero will give you the mistaken impression that you have talent. Seriously, it's not a real guitar; this is for wannabees who play too much air guitar. The fact of the matter is the better you are at IRL guitar the worse you are at this game, and vice versa.

Also of notable mention is that this game provokes an awful lot of unwarranted self importance, and you may find yourself boasting about how you just scored 92% on "Through The Fire And Flames".

Ignore this warning and suffer.

Exemplar

No exceptions.

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Guitar Hero as a Trolling Technique

A real Guitar Hero.

This game has great potential for pissing people off in a quick and efficient manner. Here's how it works:

Step 1: Find someone who knows how to play a real instrument.
Step 2: Mention that you play and enjoy Guitar Hero (regardless of whether you actually do). This alone should get a reaction. If your target has enough common sense to realize that it's just a fucking game, and therefore not give a shit about what video games you like, continue to Step 3.
Step 3: Imply that you are skilled at Guitar Hero, and (here comes the important part) that this skill makes you as worthy of admiration as someone who has learnt how to play an actual instrument. At this point, your victim should explode and launch into a lengthy rant on music, art, effort, dedication and merit.

This game therefore has superior trolling potential when compared to all the other games out there, because playing Counter-Strike doesn't make your friends say "think you're hot stuff, huh? I bet you couldn't really shoot a real terrorist", and playing Gran Turismo doesn't make your friends say "what a waste of time...learn how to drive a real car, you pathetic piece of shit." In other words, Guitar Hero is just as good a drama generator as any conversation on abortion, creationism or Linux...actually, it's even better than any of these three examples, because they are all easily identified as trolls and will be met with "not this shit again". Guitar Hero, on the other hand, is fresh enough that most people will take the bait.

An alternate trolling technique is to find a random YouTube video of someone playing a song with any instrument. Every single one of these videos has at least one comment telling the video's maker to learn how to play a real instrument.

Step 1: Reply to their comment with something to the effect of "You don't know how to play (instrument in question)." The more recent the comment, the better.
Step 2: Go do something productive for an hour. Maybe a few songs on Guitar Hero.
Step 3: Come back to a lengthy rant about the poster's guitar playing skills.
BONUS LEVEL! If said poster offers up a video of his guitar playing, you can troll further by insulting his shitty Led Zeppelin cover (PROTIP: That's what it's going to be) or by denying that that the poster is the person in the video.

Quackadilly

Quackadildo - THE Guitar Hero.

Here is another example of a real Guitar Hero, except he is not azn or obese. Quackadilly is obviously an attention whore and enjoys making videos to show off his skillz. The numerous comments that Quackadildo's fans leave him are proof to remind him that he truly is a Guitar Hero. His long fingers suggest that he is quite talented with his hands. This would help score him some chicks, but since he plays Guitar Hero, he is obviously just a faggot.

Guitar Hero on South Park

South Park made an episode on Guitar Hero called "Guitar Queer-O", which can be viewed here.

There's also a fascinating attempt at recreating their parody of said game here that's also a piece of shit to begin with.

Guitar Hero on Nintendo DS

As if releasing an entire game based on the winfest that is Aerosmith wasn't bad enough, Guitar Hero has made it's way onto the DS with two exciting new features to the Guitar Hero experience. First, Activision decided that the guitar controllers weren't retarded enough, so they added a worthless hunk of plastic that forces you to hold your DS in the most convoluted, cramp inducing way possible, ensuring the only thing you accomplish while playing is looking like a tool. (Which is technically the whole idea behind the Guitar Hero series anyway, amirite?) Second, they decided that the song list wasn't Gay enough, so they finally did away with Harmonix's tradition of adding a few bands that can actually play worth a shit. Therefore, out with Bang Camaro and Queens of the Stone Age, and in with such venerable rock legends as Smash Mouth's "All-Star" and Maroon 5's "This Love". FAIL. Bawwwing is expected to commence when Nintendo releases the next version of the DS, which does away with the cartridge slot that you need in order to plug in the worthless hunk of plastic. In short: you won't be able to play Guitar Hero on the DSi.

Rock Band

In 2007, the same game company who created Guitar Hero created a game called Rock Band. It's just like Guitar Hero, except with different songs and a variety of instrument controllers, much like Konami's Japan-only Guitar Freaks and DrumMania.

It is said to be "more real" than Guitar Hero, but the people who say this are the same people who have to be picked up by their mom from middle school and form bands with their fellow playground buddies, hoping to be featured on MySpace Music.

Trolling Rock Band fans actually isn't necessary because Harmonix takes care of that; they troll different fans every week with the downloadable content they offer. Every Tuesday, the Rock Band Forums get lit up with complaints that the week's offering wasn't what they wanted. Those comments are immediately followed with at least 100 replies telling them to STFU, and then a flame war commences. The most lulz are achieved when Harmonix releases songs from local bands around Boston (because giving undiscovered bands a chance to reach a new audience isn't as important as pleasing one fanboy) or bands made up of their employees. Every forum section will have at least one complaint such as "OMG IM TEH CUTSOMER HMX SHULD MAKE TEH SONGZ I WANT!!!!!!11" from a guy with Metallica, Slipknot, and Led Zeppelin's entire library in his DLC wishlist.

A side by side comparison of Guitar Hero and Rock Band

Emofags generally prefer Guitar Hero to Rock Band due to only requiring one person to play. They prefer not having to associate with other people or (Heaven forbid) going outside to visit someone who forced their parents to blow at least 100 dollars on this box of gay.

Weeaboos don't openly admit to playing either game as they are both American creations, however, when no one else is looking, they can be found furiously failing "Through the Fire and Flames" on ~~Expert~~ ~~Hard~~ any difficulty. If it's not a Japanese RPG or Super Smash Bros. ~~Brawl~~ Melee, they're screwed.

Because Rock Band was developed by Harmonix, occasionally you'll find a band that can actually play worth a shit. Guitar Hero, however, packs the highest amount of both failure and AIDS seen in a video game since Final Fantasy X-2. Don't believe me? Korn. The Used. Slipknot. AFI. Foo Fighters (in both fgt). Coldplay. And for fuck's sake, I Am Murloc. Did anyone ever stop and think "Wait a minute, this song is even more completely fucking gay than the Village People!" (although in Guitar Hero's defense, Rock Band features Fall Out Boy and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, resulting in roughly equivalent fail).

Rock Band is the only of the two games which features songs that are able to be played with only one's penis:

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To date, Rock Band has released at least 100 downloadable tracks. ~~Of these tracks, only three are worth your time~~ None of these tracks are worth your time, as absolutely no part of the game should be played.

Rock Band comes included with a Fender Stratocaster game controller. Despite the name, the only thing this controller manages to copy from its counterpart is its absolute failure to work properly.

Guitar Hero: World Torr Tour vs. Rock Band 2

Shortly after Rock Band was released, Activision realized that nobody was going to care about how hard their Dragonforce songs are when they could commit the unspeakable blasphemy of convincing people to visit their basements and pretend to be a band. World Torr was announced soon after as the successor to Guitar Hero 3: Legends Of Cock, and everything was fine and dandy. Until you look at the game's song list and see that 18 of the songs are already available on Rock Band 2, making Guitar Hero the video game equivalent of a deviantART tracer.

Oh, and the list has Michael Jackson's "Beat It". Seriously.

Guitar Hero also beat Rock Band for the "honor" of featuring Metallica's new album Death Magnetic as DLC, and three songs from Tool. Nothing of value was lost.

Meanwhile, Harmonix is giving away 20 free songs just for buying Rock Band 2. Good deal, amirite? Maybe so, ass u ming you've actually heard of any of the bands on the list. Enjoy adding classics like this to your collection:

Since fans of either game can't convince their mom to buy both games for them, they often take up arms in defense of their choice in typical basement-dweller fashion. This serves as a potential source of lulz for trolling the fuck out of them.