Gypsies

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

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Who knew? Maybe they ain't so bad after all.

Gypsies (or, more correctly, "Gypos") are an ethnic group originating in Western Asia. Often confused with the crude, caravan-dwelling, nomadic Pikeys of England (as played by Angelina Jolie in the Guy Ritchie motion picture "Snatch" [1]), the Romanies are more devious, religious, confidence tricksters (aka con-men) than the thieving Pikeys.

They are vigorously hated by many (well, all) Europeans for being brown people of Indian descent who dare to act at home in the white homeland of Europe. Bastards. WARNING: avoid gypsies. It's not difficult to avoid them because they stink. They also suffer from extreme paranoia (enemies everywhere) and they are ready to kill you at any moment.

Gypsy Games

Gypsies typically live in caravans. Well, not typically, always. This gives a lot of lulz to anyone seeing them, as Gypsy caravans are the most essential part of a game called 'Gypsy baiting'. A Gypsy is tied to a post by the leg or neck and a pack of trained hunting dogs are set upon it, lol. The dogs are replaced as they are injured or killed by the Gypsy's vicious claws; these claws often become a problem to over-excited spectators who are too close to the action, and often the Gypsy must be put down so no humans are injured.

Activity

Some favorite pastime of gypsies include:

eating rotten fruit
stinking and looking dirty
selling knockoff designer purses in NYC
selling drugs (they do like it!)
child buying/selling/trade/theft
loli-exchange lol
dumpster-diving
finding loose change on the ground
playing the muse for classic rock bands
not voting or participating in any census
collecting scarves n shit
listen to Gogol Bordello (which is something that everyone should do anyway.)
dancing 'fo nickels
being afraid of snow
caravaning
running barefoot through sheep manure
being whoopass at a violin
having absolutely no written history (HA! eat that, grandma)
Richard Basehart!
Rape
Murder
Stealing
Stealing souls
Stealing horses
Itinerant roof repair
Blowing shit up.
Caravan holidays
Selling clothespegs
Bare-knuckle boxing

Education in the gypsy world

There are no known cases of gypsies that have learned to read or write. ~~what a fuck? <-- um no you are hes just trying to share a very interesting information with you~~ They don't even know how to take shower.

Popular Jobs For Gypsies

The most important job of the gypsies is to pretend like they're not stealing when they are, in fact, stealing.

Many gypsies aspire to be Serial Rent Defrauders. In this job, the male gypsy will ask to rent your apartment, sign the lease, provide you with a fake reference, and pay the first month's rent and deposit. Subsequently they will not pay any rent at all, and one of their grandmothers will spend the entire time using your washing machine doing laundry for money. By the time it takes you to get a court order for the sheriff to kick them out of your apartment, they've lived rent-free for about six months. This is called "putting one over on you". Coming up with lies to keep telling you about why they're not paying their rent is a lot more work than it sounds like. While working as a serial rent defrauder, they will write back to their family in the homeland and brag about how hard they are working at their jobs.

You can find gypsies in front of Pep Boys as well, ready to do random shit to your car if you let them. For example: if you have a side impact that leaves your car door unable to open, and you have to get out the passenger door every time and look like a fucking asshole in front of your local starbucks, they will gladly help you out. They'll begin by ripping your door off, drilling holes in the fucking side, and generally making it look like shit. They will then try and charge $500 for their work. This is called "greasing you up". However, the door works now so I'm happy about that at least.

Gypsies also practice Itinerant Roof Repair. Typically they will pull up their caravan in front of your house and knock on your door. They will tell a sob story about how they are homeless and that their child has some horrible wasting disease. Then they will ask to fix your roof for some money to make their child's last days more comfortable. Several gypsies will play violins while the first gypsy tells the story about their dying kid to try to make you feel bad for them. When you finally have given them your trust, they will climb up on your roof and then hang out for an hour pretending they're fixing it. They will also steal bricks off of your chimney and make away with valuable roof tiles. This is called "playing you for a sucker".

Gypsies also pretend to tell the future, they call that a job, too.

And as a hobby or just for the lulz , gypsies curse people to hell.They may even open a business on this manner .

Persecution? In MY Kazakhstan?

However, it is in Kazakhstan (the world's 9th largest country) where the Gypsy has created the most controversy. In fact, the Gypsy problem is so out of hand there that the Kazakh government licenses 'Gypsy Hunters' to cull the Gypsy population.

Language

Wherever they come from though (America too has a major Gypsy problem [2] but then America has a problem with everything...) their main contribution to the world is in linguistics.

In this area they're responsible for the relatively lightweight dis verb 'gypped' which in turn is related to the more offensive (to Jews anyway) verb 'jewed'. Both are used in generally the same manner and both can be used in anger and/or lulz:

1. (Mistress Leather Burka House of Atonement employee to friend): "That motherfuckin' giant hook-nose kike Jacob teh Jewler gypped me on gold he said he'd pay me to go genocidal on his ass. Sure it was lulz but what the fuck ummah do with a bag of gold plated foreskins?

2. (Mistress Leather Burka to Jacob teh Jewler): "Jacob you fucking Jewler...don't even try and jew me down on the bag of Jew gold you owe my employee Fatima or I'll issue a fatwa on your pasty white ass so quick you'll wish Hitler had made you into a lamp-shade when you had the chance."

Little Known Facts

Jimi Hendrix was known to travel with a band of Gypsies to help stick it to The Man and stick it to his drug dealer's pooper so's he could get free Heroin. He also raped one of the Gypsy women (as blacks are prone to do) and later made her his wife so he could get more cocaine from her instead of his abusive dealer.

They were one of the groups killed by the Jews during the Holocaust.

Strangely enough, gypsies are europe's only pure aryans. That is people of indo-aryan descent.