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H.P. Lovecraft

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For those obsessed with experts, Wikipedia has an article about H.P. Lovecraft.

Lovecraft would make this face during sex. Staring as he thrusted. Staring. Just staring.

It's true.

I really like you.

Howard Philips Lovecraft (1890-1937) was an American author of horror fiction and insurance salesman. His parents were completely insane and were therefore sent to an insane asylum. He is probably most famous for three literary inventions: Cthulhu, Necronomicon and the automobile. He has inspired legions of literary followers, whose creations span the gamut from published masterpieces to the rankest of fanfiction. Stories written by Lovecraft and his followers contain interlocking and reinforcing references to Cthulhu and other fictional creations in an attempt to create an air of verisimilitude that increases horror and boners. Collectively, these stories are denoted as belonging to the Cthulhu Mythos, though literary mavens will come to blows when asked to define what makes a story a part of the 'mythos' or not. In addition to fiction, Lovecraft's work has been incorporated into film, music, role-playing games, video games and stuffed animals.

Despite (or perhaps because of) his wife's description of him as an "adequately excellent lover" during their brief marriage, many have concluded that Lovecraft had teh gay. As a child, he was deemed insane cause he thought Rats in the Wall were makin' scary noises, which was just the sound of his Portugease next-door neighbors fucking. He also had a pair of beloved cats named Niggerman and Jewcat, a dog named Slant-eyes, and a gecko he simply referred to as "that Wop bastard." His occasional fictional and nonfictional rants about furtive, slant-eyed mongrel people are generally viewed as the quaint racism of a more innocent age. He married a Vampire woman, and is also rumored to have fucked a Canadian at least once, and perhaps twice (see the letter written to Walt Disney in February of 1492). Lovecraft's life ended with him dying alone in his aunt's house.

The ultimate source of information on Lovecraft is the HP Lovecraft Archive.

[edit] Internets Culture

HPL (as he often signed himself) continues to generate drama a long time after his death. Topics center on arguments about the aforementioned gayness and racism, as well as the absurd idea that his fictional creations actually exist in the real world. But hey, other authors have made up religions to go with their sci-fi books, so at least Lovecraft did it with badass, pimp shit monsters.

One of Lovecraft's fictional creations was a book called the Kitab al-Azif, more commonly known as the Necronomicon, supposedly written by a crazy Arab who was eaten by invisible monsters at least 100 years ago. Morons who can't distinguish fiction from reality often claim to have read the real Necronomicon, from which they say they've learned awesome spells that would totally destroy the world if they ever wanted to use them, but of course they won't. Other morons, who fail even harder, can be found flailing helplessly around various message boards asking how they can find this non-existent book, because a book that will destroy your sanity and possibly summon monsters from beyond time is awesome bedtime reading.

Uncyclopedia types regard the Cthulhu Mythos as hilarious and awesome, and will try to insert references to it wherever possible, shouting IA IA CTHULHU FTAGHN and writing unfunny religious parodies like Who Will Be Eaten First? This is the main market for manufacturers of Cthulhu plush dolls and Nyarlathotep action figures, which is sad cause' they'd make hell lots more money selling it too Jews as Chankuhanamanunffunnybastarda presents.

[edit] Racism

There is no question that HPL hated on the nigras when he wrote:

“	When, long ago, the gods created Earth; In Jove's fair image Man was shaped at birth. The beasts for lesser parts were designed; Yet were too remote from humankind. To fill the gap, and join the rest of Man, Th'Olympian host conceiv'd a clever plan. A beast they wrought, in semi-human figure, Filled it with vice, and called the thing a Nigger.	„