3Guys1Hammer

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(Redirected from Hammer Time)

Murder was the face that they gave me.

This story started back in the summer of 2007, in Dnepropetrovsk, Ukraine, when Igor Suprunyuck, Viktor Sayenko and Alexander Hanzha otherwise known as the Dnepropetrovsk Maniacs decided that the best way to commemorate their departing childhood was to kill 40 people with hammers, pipes and screwdrivers, and record the whole thing on their phones. Around the halfway point to their lofty goal, the kids were arrested, and somehow, one of the videos managed to make its way onto the Internet more than a year later on TheYNC.com It was promptly re-upped on uncoverreality.com, and is probably being touted about Limewire as britney-spears-hot-striptease.avi as well.

Hammer Time

Can't touch this.

The guy got screwed.

The video starts off with 2 men, one trapped under what appears to be...something. Whatever the fuck it is, it doesn't stop repeated hammer-blows to the face. After several seconds of close-ups of what used to be a face and a few discomforting gurgles, a screwdriver is applied to his stomach, then his eyes, and then there's a moment of zen where things just...you're just going to need to click this link. If it fails, well then, here's another teaser. Seriously, shit is that cash.

An Attempted Translation

The following was culled from the Uncover Reality forums: (Click to expand)

Before he starts hitting him with the yellow thing, it's very quiet and mumbled I can't make it out.

(Most of what I'm making out is the camera man, it's very hard to understand the other guy due to poor audio quality and noise)

"Hold on, hold on....Be neater, fuck!" - probably saying that to watch out for the blood.

-Laughing

"Hold on, hold on, hold on, don't hit him, don't hit him.....Watch him *the rest is muffled*" - Psycho fuck is probably telling him to watch how he is bleeding as he zooms in the camera to his face.

-The next part has very bad audio and is very muffled by cans and such. I can make out one or two words but not enough to make out a coherent sentence.

After the screw driver stabbing:

"What?.....With what?" - As he responds to the guy who stabs him

"What, he's still alive?!?" - The guy stabbing him exclaims

The response of the camera man I can't make out perfectly because he's speaking very fast and again the quality isn't the best but I believe he says something along the lines of:

"He's still moving his arms after I ripped up his intestines"

-The stabber says something along the lines of "He's having a fucked up day" as he steps on his stomach.

-More muffled talk as he proceeds to stab him in the eyes with the screwdriver-

"Get over here fast.....Kill him already."

"What?" - Stabber

"Kill him already."

-He says something about his hammer which I believe to be "I already put the hammer back," followed by "He's already dead." - Stabber-

"He's not dead and I already poked out his eyes" - Camera man

-Note: There are mainly two of saying the word "dead" in Russian, they're using a term that is phonetically written as "zdoh," which is a way of saying "dead" when talking about animals and things lower life value, such as criminals (in english, basically the difference between the words 'dead' and 'deceased' in terms of whether you respect something)

"Get the knife" - Camera man

-Proceeds to bludgeon him then interrupts by saying something I can't make out-

"More more" - Camera man telling him to keep bludgeoning him to make sure he's dead, and not so much for pleasure any more.

"Hold on, hold on" - Camera man

-They start walking back to the car-

-More muffled talk from the blond haired piece of shit-

"Wash your hands" - Camera Man

Camera man begins telling him something that I can't make out clearly for some reason but I believe he says "Spray the *name of the chemical*" followed by "I'll hold it," as they started to clean the hammer.

-Muffled talk from the guy washing the hammer- -More muffled talk from the guy washing his face and walking back from his car-

"I stuck the screwdriver in his brain" - Says the camera man

-Muffled talk from the guy washing his hands-

"I got him in the nose from his eye" - Says the camera man *I'm not exactly sure on this one, but I know he says something along the lines of that.

"I don't understand, how was he alive? I felt his brain" - Says the camera man

"I was holding the screw driver like this *muffled/don't understand*" - Camera man

Before the video ends the blond piece of scum says something like "Alright, let's get a picture"

The Internet Reacts

Lazy bastards.

No.

Having glass up your asshole is less painful than having a screwdriver through your stomach.

The George Bush avatard should have been a dead giveaway.

English Media Reaction

Caitlin Moran (more like MORON amirite?), of Britfag news rag The Times, posted an article on the newspaper's website last Thursday detailing her response to the video. Redirect to The Times' article

“	I was ... worried that the footage might in some way damage my computer, which I turned off, then unplugged, then covered with a cloth.	„
—Caitlin Moran on overcoming shock

Ms. Moran has since been unavailable for comment, but is thought to be languishing in her hugbox weeping about how the internet is the root of all evil, second only to MC Hammer. It is believed that Ms. Moran spent many years studying Internet Security, as her hasty action in covering the computer with a cloth probably saved at least 100 people from viruses.

“	I think hammers is a pretty cool guy. eh kills rteards and doesn't afraid of anything	„
—Craig David on the controversy

3 Guys, 1 Hammer, 1 SD Card

Of course, no good murderous rampage is without its Kodak moments. Below are pictures taken by our ne'er-do-well handymen, doing what they do best: recording fucking everything.

	R3s+eCp !	Told u i was hardcore.	Can't touch this.
Hai Guize

Gallery

Can't touch me...	Please, Igor, don't hurt 'em.		So you can GGRLLLFRL while you LRBLLRFGFH.
The summary.	Mama Mia! It's Hammertime!	As told by the Bayeux Tapestry	I'd hit it!
FUUUUUUUU	Their inspiration	They did it for the lulz	Animals love it too!
Cho Seung-Hui joins in!