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David Hasselhoff

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I can't get enough!

Have you ever wondered what happens when you mix an actor, singer, alcoholic and a total raging fag together? An explosion of fail that could only come from the 80's.

David Hasselhoff is a fine specimen of the great culture explosion of the 80's and is miraculously still around due to people being fucktards. Hasselhoff is a camwhore of the highest calibre. He thinks that because people in Germany love him that he is a celebrity. You know, German people loved Hitler. Much to Hasselhoff's chagrin, ~~his prime passed along with the eighties and the fall of Baywatch~~ he is more popular than his busy schedule will allow him to enjoy.

[edit] Hasselhoff: The Career

David became famous at least 100 years ago through the 80's TV series, Knight Rider which was about a talking car and is probably the biggest example of why the 80's Ruled. As a follow up and as some would say was a sad successor to Knight Rider, he made a magical show full of boobs and whores called Baywatch. Baywatch was to soft core, nationally televised porn as YouTube is to aspiring soft core cam whores in the here and now. Last thursday, Hasselhoff went on to have a singing career due to the Germans' terrible taste in music, which further stoked the flames of his already dangerously inflated ego. Since his fall from glory in the eyes of television and the eighties, he's mostly just had cameo roles in movies and adverts as the great human meme in attempts at making things moar funny plz. In less notable news he still makes his appearances on TV by still getting interviews and whatnot. In an attempt at reclaiming fame he released a tongue and cheek but still gay single which managed to get a number 3 in the charts.

[edit] Hasselhoff: The E-Fame Years

Because people on the internet are lol-cows and deserve to be shot, their was and probably still is a campaign to help get a Hasselhoff single to number one on teh charts. To date their success has yet to be achieved in this goal, where it to succeed it'd serve as a mighty troll on popular music.

[edit] Hasselhoff: IRL animatronic freakshow

As David Hasselhoff's IRL fame has waned, he has exhibited an obvious downward spiral whose only possible destination is one of the lower circles of hell. A notorious alcoholic who has been forced to go to rehab for the benefit of humanity, he if often sighted driving around southern California in a black 1982 Trans Am, drunk, growling and grumbling while referring to himself in the third person.

[edit] David Hasselhoff as an IRL meme

Due to some freak accident, possibly related to Hitler, the last syllable in Hasselhoff's name has caught on as a fad. This involves mangling a word by fitting in "Hoff", eg: