Heavenablaze
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| Warning!: This article contains graphic levels of samefaggotry and ass kissing. |
heavenablaze (AKA Armando The Metal God Ass Pounder) is a goth lj troll/internet asshole that somehow gets under people's skin by posting multiple images of really stupid crap that is completely irrelevant to the topic at hand. heavenablaze is often referred to as "the new school of trolling" and at times reverred amongst various lj trolling circles a faggy internet tough guy who writes his own ED articles, although he is still universally despised by everyone for being a bitter midget on an ego trip.
Unfortunately, since most of LiveJournal finds his views offensive, heavenablaze tends to get banned from LiveJournal communities faster than Courtney Love goes through boyfriends. After crying over how nobody nice wanted to play with him, he decided to create his own communities where he bans anyone whom he deems Christian, goth, emo, homosexual or otherwise unacceptable to his overinflated ego. The irony of course is that heavenablaze is all of these things, proving once and for all the fags hate themselves.
So, basically, Armando is cooler than you'll ever be. Pop a Zoloft and get over it. He's basically just another internet tough guy who thinks the internet is serious business, going to lengths to make himself sound much cooler than he is.
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[edit] Brief Biography
Although many believe his origins have been unrooted, he's been known for being a liar and a con artist. He proved this by convincing 9 out of every 10 lj users that he was dead. This was mentioned in several communities such as fake_lj_deaths, ohnotheydidnt, and neo_goths_suck. Despite the world rejoicing his permanent departure, he "resurrected" to inflict more "e-raping" upon unsuspecting lj users 2 months later, causing enough troll drama to get 87 people to delete their journals. He has also managed to somehow overthrow the mod of __comeundone and has turned it into a satellite for a fake cutting community called ratemycuts.
In time, it was discovered that IRL he's a schizophrenic drunk with a penchant for heavy drug use and fits of mindless destruction. It was unveiled that his trollings are a result of either fulfilling some sort of bribe or extortion from a yet to be identified source, although it may the cartel wanting to collect the rent money he owes them. In time, it was discovered that his label at the time wouldn't give him suitable promotion, and his trollings thusly were nothing more than a cheap publicity stunt. Although he was by far less annoying in the past, it appears that he finally has his own laptop to conduct his lj-whoring as his appearances have become more numerous.
A couple of his lame acronyms include several asinine words such as "cyber-AIDS", "e-rape", "pwned", "royally pwned", "el ghey abuse", "heterosexually incapacitated", along with deliberately misplaced and random usage of 1337, 1's, and OMGZ.
[edit] Heaven Ablaze
Like many LJ users, he belongs to a band, but in this case, there's no point mentioning them since the worst publicity is no publicity. Although he's actually a decent death metal musician.(as far as crappy Floridian bands go), his constant holier than thou attitude and his troll reputation has only done a disservice to himself and his band. He's a textbook case of someone who needs to really chill out so people can actually take him seriously.
[edit] Ex-Partners in crime
Heavenablaze's frequent partners in crime are usually just a bunch of fags who like to kiss his dick and feed his ego in hopes that they will be blessed with buttsex. They are united in their love for shitty music, and their hatred of emos, goths, nu-metal, liberals, straight edge, hot topic, fags, bisexuals, bad typers, and cutters.(It is important to remember that, like most fags, they think are normal, and distance themselves from other faggots.) As such, they have wasted their lives by taking the internet seriously and alienating about 99% of LJ members.
A rumor was started that heavenablaze and his long time e-victim freeko were going to make a guest appearance to finally settle their e-feud on UFC 67 coming soon on pay-per-view. No word as of yet if the use of heavenablaze's image macros and poorly produced mp3s or freeko's dyslexia and incessant whining over being pwned by at least half of the LJ world will be allowed in this epic cyber battle. Heavenablaze, being the conceited turd he is, flaunts about the confirmed fact that Freeko has challenged him (among with several other lj users) to a fist fight only to back down from "The Metal God" in a mildly popular and lengthy flame war that caught 3 lj communities in the middle of a long bullshit argument that only lifeless retards such as myself give a shit about. However, after observing how much of a whiny emo pussy Freeko is, that's not really saying a whole hell of a lot.
In closing, this is a man that is incredibly sensitive and should be left to rot alone in his own little corner of the world. However, he is probably happy masturbating feverishly while reading this article, as it caters to his obvious need to be a complete ego whore.
heavenablaze was recently e-raped by LJ Abuse. Although many trolls want to see the return of this "e-legend"/"troll lord", the chances of that happening are nil, which leaves the rest of the LJ world happy to be rid of him once and for all.
[edit] Communities heavenablaze Often Haunted
Ways to troll Heavenablaze
A.) Tell him how much anything other than heavy metal rules.
B.) Laugh at how each of his pictures he has that same pissed off look on his face as he curses God for not giving him enough money to record a decently produced album.
C.) Invite him to Vampire Freaks
D.) Tell him how much Death Metal sucks.
E.) Preach to him about any religious dogma. This will instantly set him off into a blind rage.
F.) When all else fails, compare him to Freeko or Marilyn Manson.
