High School Musical
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
High School Music is arguably the worst live-action movie ever to be dropped out of Disney’s ass. If you’re not a 13-year-old girl, you won’t enjoy this movie.
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[edit] Plot
The movie starts out with a cliché basket-ball jock getting it on with his Dad at a skiresort. When he goes to a new-years party, he ends up singing karaoke with a Chinese wetback. Amazingly, the two have a perfect harmony and are completely on-key regardless of never having met before.
When he goes back to school after winter break, it turns out the amazing nerd has transferred into his school. But like any little-kid tragedy, he’s not allowed to talk to her because his basket-ball buddies convince him it’s not cool. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW!
Both the nerd and jock deny they want to sing, but end up auditioning for the school music regardless, and end up getting the role after call-backs. In the end, it’s all happy-ever-after.
[edit] Characters
Troy Bolton- The faggot basket-ball jock who is pressured into sex by his Dad and lets his friends push him around. In the end he learns a valuable life lesson about being yourself, the same as all the other Disney movies.
Gabriella- A Mexican super-nerd who has an amazing singing voice. She’s pushed into joining nerd squads by her friends instead of singing like she’s so good at. desperate to do. In the end she learns a valuable life lesson about being yourself, the same as all the other Disney movies.
Sharpay & Ryan- The two incestuous antagonists. Sharpay is a stuck-up spoiled attention whore played by Ashley Tisdale. She supposedly always gets the lead in the play beside her brother, which is strange seeing as the main roles are usually lovers. Ryan is a gay blonde kid who’s totally whipped by his sister and obsessed with hats and the color pink.
There are also a couple nigras that are pretty important DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS.
 The nerd, Gabriella. |
 The Jock, Troy. |
 Sharpay before the Camera takes off at least 100 pounds. |
[edit] High School Musical 2
Because the first one wasn’t shit enough, Disney created a sequel.
This one takes place in the summer time which totally contradicts the title. Way to go, Disney. It also doesn’t contain a Musical, but a Country-Club Talent show.
This movie is focused around how bitchy and controlling Shargay is, and how one day she’ll shave her head because Troy doesn’t love her.
IRL plans for HSM2:
1. Shitty repetitive song
2. Summer Job
3. Troy loses himself.
4. Troy loses his friends
5. Troy loses his girlfriend.
6. Shitty rap song
7. Blonde bitch gets told off.
8. Shitty love song
9. ????
10. PROFIT!!
I’d like to note how significantly worse the songs get in this movie.
A problem with this movie is Disney’s problem with ringing every dollar they can out of it. They’ve released over 5 different versions on DVD, all available in Wal-Mart’s 5 cent bin.
[edit] Oh, Fuck. HSM3?
Yes, the series continues.
Seeing as HSM is the only thing Disney’s made in the past 30 years that anybody likes other then Hannah Montana, they’ve started the third movie, with even shittier rap songs, and I think Vanessa’s singing voice is somebody new. We can only hope some people have common sense to boycott this movie, seeing as somehow, and for some unknown reason, it’s coming to theaters.
