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India

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Hello, this is Mike from Dell tech support, what can I help you with today?
 

 

—Traditional Indian Greeting

Typical Indian citizen
Typical Indian citizen
A very cool Indian citizen
A very cool Indian citizen
A beautiful young Indian woman.
A beautiful young Indian woman.
Image of the typical Indian worker.
Image of the typical Indian worker.

The subcontinent of India (or INDIAH! in British English) consists of Pagans, curry and telemarketers. It is found somewhere in South East Asia.

"THANK YOU, COME AGAIN!" is the national slogan for Indians.

AOL hires lots of people from India for phone support, due to their polite etiquette and excellent grasp of the English language, plus they get bonus points for the ability to sense immediately if someone is calling to cancel so they can hang up on them before they can even ask.

Contents

[edit] Overview

The Indian film industry (AKA Bollywood) is famous for its original content.


India has long tradition of peace and non-violence and is still full of many spiritual gurus who are not actually Spiritual but make careers out of it by drugging out people gullible enough to fall for them into paying them money for practicing further Spiritual practices.

Then Indians got nukes. Now they think they can take out China (despite already getting pwned by them in the 60s over a shitty uninhabited dessert). India and Pakistan are mortal enemies, despite being the same country 60 years ago and speaking pretty much the same language, their butthurt rivalry is also due to each claiming a stretch of uninhabitable mountains in the name of national pride and Ego; so calling an Indian a Paki is akin to calling a Jew an Arab. It is therefore, an extremely good source of lulz.

Another totally NOT gay scene from Bollywood:

Women's rights in action:

The typical job in India:

[edit] Who are the Indians?

Your average Indian family.
Your average Indian family.
Typical Indian woman, dressed for a date.
Typical Indian woman, dressed for a date.
A little later.
A little later.
An Indian ventriloquist (left) and his puppet.
An Indian ventriloquist (left) and his puppet.

They are considered an up-and-coming a smelly race and are in heavy economic competition failure with in comparison with the Chinese pplz, though the two nations retain generally friendly diplomatic relations. India contains 1.0 - 1.1 billion of Earth's 6 billion, while China has 1.2 - 1.3 billion. However, India is growing at a faster pace and will overtake China in raw population, which, undoubtedly will fucking suck for them, considering India is over 9000 times smaller than China in land area. Al Gore mentioned in his film, An Inconvenient Truth, that the possibility of that many Indians gathered in one small country might result in astronomic smells that could permeate into the atmosphere. It is expected that if such a scenario emerges, they will die of their own curry stink.

[edit] Some facts about Indians

  • ALL 7-11s are owned by Indians
  • Their cuisine/dishes are colorful and usually are filled with red colors and green colors to piss off colorblind people;
  • The pungent taste in Indian food, contrary to popular belief, is actually not from onions, but from sweat that had dripped off their armpits, despite this curry is Britain's national dish.
  • Indians can't write for shit. You can immediately tell when there's an Indian online because their English is fuck-horrible.
  • Indians are mostly immature, and think adding S's and Z's after every word makes them coolerz.
  • Indians think Crappywood is cool.

[edit] Indian Inventions

[edit] Economy

Bollywood.
Bollywood.
Indians, contrary to popular belief, actually do have employment. Whilst the stereotypical Indian lies out on the street worshiping cows and his/her/its god the business minded creature sits at a desk calling millions of people he/she/it has never even met before. These Indians are known as tele-marketers, also known as phone trolls. Telemarketers have no real personal life and no real friends, seeing as every person they date happens to be a potential buyer of their products. What makes Indian telemarketers even more annoying is not the way they pronounce English, but rather the way they pass themselves off as Americans (or any other English speaking type) with lulzy names like "Bahb", "Jehnifurr", "Jahn".

The final stereotypical job for Indians is technology support for electronics companies such as Dell and Microsoft. Instead of giving menial jobs to ungrateful fat westerners who barely passed their IT degrees, the corporations have decided to give their jobs to low waged Indians, who are more willing to take it up the ass than their cushy liberal counterparts.

[edit] See also

[edit] Links

Indians say their women are the most beautiful in the world...FUG!


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