Homeschooling

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PROTIP: The 7 year old child is fictional.

PROTIP: The 7 year old child is still fictional.

Wiccan advice for furry homeschooling.

A hot issue in the realm of pop parenting, homeschooling is where some unfortunate child's parents get the idea in their head that they are more qualified than a trained teacher to educate their child, usually because the public school system will not indoctrinate said child with their fundie beliefs. For more information, see homeschooling.

1 Origins of Homeschooling
2 Why People Choose Homeschooling
3 Pros
4 Cons
5 See Also

[edit] Origins of Homeschooling

Homeschooling began way too long ago as a way for parents to ensure their children would never make babies. Because abstinece plays such a central role in homeschooling, it is commonly accepted that their numbers are increased primarily by conversion of those who educate elsewhere (commonly referred to as retards). However, most folks are about as likely to homeschool as they are to throw away their matches and rub two sticks together to make fire. This ensures that the parasitic nature of homeschooling's proliferation never gets out of hand.

[edit] Why People Choose Homeschooling

Parents generally feel the school system is ill equipped to explain to their child why the world is still flat. So they go and find other people who agree that the world should be flat. Some of them go and get degrees so they can better assure the rest of the group that it is best to believe in a flat world. Anyone who disagrees with them is just a fag anyhow.

[edit] Pros

Providing that parents/tutors/creepy family friends teaching the children aren't totally unqualified, you might end up with a decent education. This is unfortunately due to the fact that public school is pretty much bullshit with no funding anyway, since having an educated populace isn't as important as blowing the shit out of people we've never met.

"God hates fags"

"I'm not racist, but.."

Homeschooled students are not subject to the testing requirements of the No Child Left Behind Act.

Child Abuse

[edit] Cons

"We don't believe in dinosaurs"

All homeschooled characters start off with 1 in charisma, and pay double point cost for any and all social skills.

"I wasn't worried about Becky's education till I went to her school and saw just how many MOOSLEMS were there."

"We want our children to grow up thinking balanced and rationally, reciting Pi to the 108th digit every morning and doing his cube root exercises at bedtime"