From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Vampires = great baby sitters!
Michelle Belanger has formed her own cult, House Kheperu.
It is referred to as a "house" because of the role-playing game Vampire: The Mascaraed. She borrowed the term from there, as she has most of her material, philosophies and belief systems.
Any member at any time will tell you how utterly smart and incredible she is, while turning a blind eye to her whoring and self-promotion. Those who refuse to jerk off Michelle or tell her how awesome she is are expelled immediately.
She says that the house is for everyone's enlightenment, but it is really just a shrine to her pulsating, overflowing brain and meager dyke tits.
[edit] Origins
This tax-exempt religious organization was founded by the woman on the right.
Kheperu originally was a place for people who thought they were linked in a past life (Priests in pre-historic Egypt, to be exact) to come to share ideas and reminisce about the good old days when they raped virgins and drank the blood of the wicked. This group of people thought they were the "first vampires in existence" and should be treated as royalty.
Who would have thought that mighty and powerful Egyptian priests would choose to be reincarnated as retarded middle class white people?
Now you don't have to be a specific wackjob to apply; any wackjob is welcome as long as they think they are walking, talking vampires or are willing to let one drink their blood. It is now an even bigger institution of faggotry and Michelle masturbating her ego.
You can read the "ancient origins" of House Kheperu here. It's not the complete story as they have learned that it is too lulzy to post, so we have to keep our eyes open for the full version.
An excerpt:
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In time, the Age of the Priests fell in fire and flood, and only the Warriors, who had been made to endure nearly any hardship, remained. These struck out to create a new age, but in rebelling against the abuses of the Priests, the Warriors committed abuses of their own. The Priests were scattered, reborn through many peoples and in many lands. As they gradually recovered, they sought to rebuild their once-great empire, but now there was a schism between the Warriors and the Priests. With the Family divided, neither side was whole, and the Counselors were always caught in the middle of these disputes.
Only over the burden of time have we learned to reconcile our differences so the Family may learn to function as three equal parts of a whole.
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| —Michelle A. Belanger
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URN, the official band of House Kheperu.
The house has three castes. You heard me right. They claim that the castes aren't a definition of a members worth, but lets take a look at that, shall we? There are three castes, Warriors, Counselors and Priests. Warriors are the foot-soldiers, recruiters and general Kheperu whores. They are followers, nothing more. The Priests glorify this role because they like having mindless drones to do their bidding. The Counselors are the preferred ass-kissers for the Priests (better than Warriors). Counselors are generally the hangers-on of the leaders; their pets. The Priests themselves are the ones running the show. Sometimes, someone like Don Henrie is granted Priest status because Michelle desperately wants to suck his clit-sized noodle dick.
Here are some excerpts from the FAQ:
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* Is House Kheperu a religion?
Yes and no. For the purposes of legal recognition, we are technically a religious society. This is because we have "complex and sincerely held beliefs", and by American law, that defines us as a religion. We accept the legal definition of religion because it allows us to apply for our non-profit status and earns us certain privileges accorded only to religious groups in this country.
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| —House Kheperu FAQ
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Be a mindless drone, be rewarded!
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* Do Kheprians believe in the concept of sin?
We do not believe in sin per se, and we certainly do not believe in the concept of Original Sin which suggests that all humanity is sinful and inherently flawed from birth until a condition is met in order to expiate that stain. We do believe that there is an overall system of punishment and reward, but it does not necessarily follow black and white human concepts of good and evil, nor does it relegate an individual soul to one spiritual "place" for aeons. Instead of sin, we believe in dharma and karma. Dharma can be translated as "duty" or "law", and it basically describes the path the universe has laid out for a you in any given life. To stray from this path and reject its lessons is to go against the universal flow, and this accrues negative karma. To work within your path and to learn the lessons it has to offer, as well as providing the lessons you were meant to give to others around you, is to accrue good karma. Bad karma sets you up for harsh lessons either later in this life or in future lives. Good karma helps ease the circumstances of your lessons by setting up fortunate and helpful turns of events. In a dharmic worldview, your actions cannot be judged in terms of good and evil or right and wrong but in how closely you fulfill your given role.
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| —House Kheperu FAQ
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VAMPYREZ ZOMG:
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* What is vampirism?
Psychic vampirism can be best approached as a metaphysical condition. Some one who is a true psychic vampire regularly and actively needs to take in outside energy in order to maintain their physical, mental and spiritual well-being. Partial psychic vampires can supplement their energy with natural, elemental, or even celestial sources. Full-blown psychic vampires are unable to process anything but the vital life energy of others.
* Have you ever come across someone who was OtherKin and Vamp?
The simple answer would be yes, House Kheperu has run across many people who identified as both.
"Vampire" as the word is used by House Kheperu refers to the need to take in vital energy to maintain one's physical, mental, or spiritual well being. There are several different explanations for why this need may exist. One explanation for some people's vampirism is the stress involved in some otherkin incarnating into human bodies. In other words, vampirism is actually probably more common among kin (per capita) then it is among the average population.
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| —House Kheperu FAQ
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For added lulz, check out the Vampire Origin stories. The scary thing is, these people actually believe that shit.
[edit] See Also
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House Kheperu is part of a series on Cults. |
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