Hugo Chavez

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

"Im in yur White House, spying on yur assassination plots!"

Hugo Chavez is the President of Venezuela and famous IRL Troll. He was elected president of Venezuela forever since 1998 and on. According to Conservapedia he's a repressive dictator, so you can ignore this statement. Also, he's a a suspected member of the Ultraviolet News Network.

1 Early years
2 Relationship with Fidel Castro
3 The Pat Robertson Controversy
4 Offense to Satan
5 Countertrolling
6 Ver También
7 Los Links, Aye yi yi

[edit] Early years

In his youth, Chavez was an hero.

Chavez was born in Florida to Josefina Chavez and Samuel Prescott Bush. Samuel Bush was a railroad executive and an asswipe who never acknowledged responsibility for lil Hugo's birth. So Chavez had to flee the country since his older brother Prescott Bush put a price on his head. Thus, nowadays Chavez is taking revenge on our beloved president, W.

Some research undertaken by the respected journalist Kent Brockman, and reported in his book "Blurred Memoirs on Fox News", indicate that Chavez is probably an alien. ^{[citation needed]}. It is believed this information was kept buried and denied for years as it would have likely ruined Chavez's future career as President for Life had it been known.

“	Im going to fill the pages of the History, by myself because Mr. Bush, Washington, the CIA, the FBI, la KGB, and the NBA are trying to kill me.	„
— Hugo Chavez, Speaking about USA

[edit] Relationship with Fidel Castro

"Hmmm... your chest is hard, Chavito!"

Chavez declared Cuban President Fidel Castro as his BFF and their relationship has been much discussed. Castro has helped Chavez build a powerful army of chupacabras. According to Ann Coulter, they're two gayboys, but that frigid bitch says that about every liberal guy on this planet.

What is beyond doubt is that once Fidel is six feet under, Chavez will take over as the leading critic of the U.S., and so yankees will never get to live in a world without hate from poor, repressed banana republics.

[edit] The Pat Robertson Controversy

“	I know everything about assassination, and if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war, and I don’t think any oil shipments will stop.	„
—Pat Robertson, on The 69 Club.

After this statement, good Christian Pat Robertson said that he had been drinking heavily and that he actually didn't mean that Chavez should be pwned, just that somebody should take a M1903A4 rifle with a M84 sight and blow his head up.

The pope says:

"An attractive specimen, indeed."

[edit] Offense to Satan

Where's your Satan now?.

The day after George W. Bush addressed the same session of the U.N. General Assembly, Chavez trolled with the following:

"The devil came here yesterday, and it smells of sulfur still today, this table that I am now standing in front of."

At that point, Chavez made the sign of the cross, positioned his hands as if praying and looked briefly up to the ceiling. He continued:

"Yesterday, ladies and gentlemen, from this rostrum, teh President of the United States, the gentleman to whom I refer as teh devil, came here, talking as if he owned the world."

Satan didn't like the comparison one bit. Neither did the American media, whose reactions have led leftards to declare it one of the worst examples of IRL trolling in history.

[edit] Countertrolling

Juan Carlos becomes a meme

Remembering good moments.

Chavez became the victim of a vicious IRL countertrolling at the hands of King Juan Carlos I of Spain, a member of the House of Bourbon which has been in power since last Thursday. Having a lot more experience in the MMORPG known as international diplomacy, King Juan Carlos quite rightly told Chavez to "STFU u noob fgt" at the Ibero-American summit. Some Spanish faggot then made the sound clip into a ringtone and sold it to Jamster, where it became more popular among the Spanish than Crazy Frog. But nobody gives a shit about the Spanish.

Chavez then was trolled by his own people when they voted not to give him perpetual ops in #venezuela. It is suspected, however, that this is the result of a conspiracy by the Illuminati and the Jews. Chavez has been recovering from the butthurt by playing xbawks under the handle xXxCaUdIlLoxXx while huffing jenkem.