Humanitarian
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Contents |
[edit] Humanitarianism
Unlike Internet Humanitarianism, this "state of mind" is actually a polite way of saying you're a cannibal while in a tux and drinking champagne.
[edit] Origins
Once upon a time, there was a man named Bob. Bob and his wealthy friend, Marley, ended up on a deserted desert island. (One of the annoying side effects of lubricated condoms). Now, what you have to know about Bob, is that he was a social climber, and certainly eating the flesh of Marley would be a faux pass. So the two had a debate which involved philosophy, goatse, nude dancing girls, and Einstein's Theory on Relativity (E=Mc squared).
In the end, it was decided that eating Marly's flesh would be the most humane thing to do in light of Bob's situation. (Nobody really cared about Marley, because he was emo, you see.).
And that, my friends, is how the first humanitarian was created.
[edit] What Are the Signs?
1. They spam the air waves with use of that word. A lot.
2. They are in some sort of group dedicated to "helping" those in need.
3. They randomly start gnawing on your arm.
What you have to remember about Humanitarians, is that they look, smell, feel and fuck like any other normal person. Than again, during sex they may take a chunk out of you if hungry.
[edit] Where they Be
Generally, any type of gathering dedicated to the "helping" of others is a a recipe for disaster. The obvious think to do would be to avoid these places. However, if you happen to be n00b enough to
1. Accept a bribe
or
2. Get infected with Christianity disorder
you'll probably end up being eaten alive. Without proper seasoning.
[edit] What To Do
1. If at their home:
During dinner conversation, if the word comes up, leave. Take a deep breath and excuse yourself from the table. Remember: MAKE NO SUDDEN MOVEMENTS. As soon as you've locked yourself in the bathroom ... RUN!
2. Flame thrower
[edit] Coming out of the Kitchen
A phrase coined by Bob after he somehow got back home, it has not been used since, because it makes no sense whatsoever, very much like common sense.
In any case, its meaning is simple and clear: "I eat people."
The conversation proceeding someone's declaration of them "coming out of the kitchen" is usually cut short due to lack of anyone giving a fuck. A few days later they realize their naive mistake as they watch their arm being chewed off.
It should be noted though: furries never come out of the kitchen because they don't eat each other. Not in THAT way, at least. out of the kitchen when they realize they're into vore.
