People
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
HUMAN = Huge Ugly Monkeys Against Nature. People are a species of smooth, smelly creatures who populate the Earth and the internets. They are the third biggest source of lulz next to animals and dead babies. TheEvilBlueberryCouncil hates them. While most creatures of Earth work together to form a better society, humans prefer to hate each other and disagree on every subject, even if they don't mean it; they just do it because they can. Humans also like to kill each other and themselves. This is because Man's brain is over 9,000 times the size of an apes and is too heavy to function properly. The word human derives from Latin "homō" which means gay; the "ō" at the end indicates that this more than just gay; thus, homō = "ultra gay".
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Diet
The diet of people is varied, and usually includes fruits, grains, nuts, vegetables, McDonald's and other creatures. Vegetarians refuse to eat the other creatures because of the karma, man, so they get an extra helping of lentils instead. Some people, especially 16 year old girls, have anorexia which means their diet consists of pretty much nothing at all except for maybe their fingernails and the occasional razor blade, leaving plenty left over for the fatties. (See also: Food)
Recreation
Aside from exploring the internets, people enjoy hill walking, eating meat, stamp collecting and white-water rafting. Also the most favorite of these activities is the good-old sport "piss the fuck out of your neighbor", a humorous game used when a human has nothing else to do and feels a deep emotion known as malice.
Mating Habits
Humans are divided into two sexes, male and female.
For at least 100 years people have used sex for breeding purposes. During this time many sexual deviations (such as furry yiffing and arborphilia)have evolved. Curiously, most of these contribute no special advantage whatsoever to the development of the people gene pool. This is because the object of the mating act is to get the penis inserted into the vagina. The actual selection of genes happens over long periods of time prior to mating, and involves candle light dinners, and chocolate, so that the woman can see if the man she will mate with is really committed to the relationship or not.Over 9,000 people in America have AIDS.
Creatures like Chin-chan, who cant use sex for obvious reasons, try to reproduce by buying sperm at sperm banks. The only losers at this situation are children, who get picked on all the time, because they have ugly mothers.
Warfare
Warfare is the humans' favorite activity. It has been so for their entire existence, even before people decided that things needed to be written down. Wars have mainly been fought over Freedom, Pr0n, Jew Gold, Menstrual cycles, Oil and the last Halo 2 copy in the store. Two of the most popular wars are World War I and World War II. As a species, humans have never lost a war. Humans are extremely dangerous fighters and will readily fight to the death, especially if you steal their weed stash, destroy their pr0n or call them fags.
Human Nature
- can only consider one side of an argument at a time, and become completely convinced they are right by arguing it
- think it is OK to do controversial things as long as other people are also doing them
Look-Alikes
- Jews - Not people.
- Niggers - Not people.
- Sandniggers - Not people.
- Women - Not people.
- Furries - Wish they weren't people; achieve this by dressing up in fursuits.
