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IMDb

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Your average IMDb user.

The Internet Movie Database (IMDb) is the largest collection of information about actors, movies, and TV shows on the Internets. It is similar in content to Rotten Tomatoes, with the exception that the films are reviewed and rated entirely by ordinary movie fans rather than respected professional critics. The site is perhaps best known for its rankings of movies and its incredibly moronic forum users.

Not to be confused with IBMD.

1 The Top 250 List
2 Film General
3 Ratings
4 My Movies
5 IMDb Females Under 18
6 Stupid irrelevant threads
7 Cheap Lulz From IMDb
8 Updates
9 See Also
10 External links

[edit] The Top 250 List

On IMDb, this is considered to be a well-thought out and highly persuasive argument.

This too.

Typical IMDb user doing one of the things they do best. Not knowing the fucking year.

According to IMDb-users, The Shawshank Redemption is the second best film evar, a laughable indecency displayed prominently on IMDb's personal all-time best list, called the IMDb Top 250, a sort of cesspool where users can upvote films that must be good because popular opinion says so. Since the average voter has little to no taste in movies and is also a fucktard, crap such as Hotel Rwanda, Finding Neverland, Crash, and Kill Bill is allowed to populate the Top 250 alongside Seven Samurai and Citizen Kane. Rankings and ratings are determined by the Bayesian estimate of a film's average vote, though nobody gives a shit. The top 250 films are then featured in a special area on the site, though given the content the list ideally should be stowed away in IMDb's deepest darkest corner. Conservative estimates show the list to consist of 65% trash, though mediocrity like Little Miss Sunshine invades the Top 250 at regular intervals. In 2005, an errant sect of Scientology sued IMDb on account of its Top 250 being quote "too gay;" the case was dismissed in the United States District Court for the Southern District of Illinois.

[edit] Film General

The Film General board is usually a competition to see who has the most obscure top ten list. The more films you have on your list that nobody has heard of, the cooler you are. For extreme coolness, make a new thread every day about how well-known films like Goodfellas or The Godfather suck.

[edit] Ratings

A typical sapient imdb review. Notice! the!exclamation!points!after! every!sentence! The reviewer is from Holland. Coincidence?

If a film is Limited, then it is usually considered cool by everyone, and is voted higher. Also, if a film is foreign, it also benefits from a "cool" bonus. See Pan's Labyrinth for example; if this film was not limited or foreign, it would probably average 6.5 or less. Another thing cool kids like to do is throw films that are good but not THAT good into IMDB's Top 250 Films, such as Knocked Up or Grindhouse. This is either because people can't tell the difference between "good movies" and "true classics"...or, more likely, they are simply retarded.

[edit] My Movies

Additionally, IMDb is well-known for its ability to allow users to rate films on a scale of 1 - 10, while simultaneously recording their votes in a section called My Movies. It should come as no surprise that this section of IMDb is as poorly maintained and woefully forsaken of customizability as the rest of the site, as IMDb steadfastly refuses to allow users to personalize My Movies with additional parameters or information. Of important note, IMDb also fails to provide a search feature that would let members easily browse other users' My Movies, which annoyingly forces people to first enter the IMDb forums then arbitrarily search posts for users who might display enough intelligence to have a relevant My Movies section. (Additionally, most users are dumbasses and fail to make public their My Movies, and those who do are usually batshit insane with bad taste) Recently IMDb programmers pwned claims regarding IMDb's lack of customizability, saying that implementation of additional features would be undeserved given how asshatted the majority of the site users are.

[edit] IMDb Females Under 18

A traditional breakdown of the votes by demographic from an IMDb film. Notice the average vote from Females under 18 is nearly a full 2 points above the actual average.

IMDb users are notorious for assigning favorable ratings to terrible movies, and statistically speaking, the ubiquitous category of females under 18 is largely responsible for this unspeakable atrocity. Women in general have no taste, however, the average IMDb female under 18 is a rampaging hobag-in-training, a ditzy confection of irritating naivety and limited understanding whose lack of maturity and noted ability to be easily manipulated renders them unable to distinguish between quality films and trash, and coincidentally makes them the prime target for surprise buttsecks. In general, the only way to combat the infection of inflated grades spread by this demographic is to downvote particular films, but Last Thursday Popular Science released a series of studies showing proper use of subliminals during Totally Spies and/or My Little Pony commercials may represent a new front in the fight against this teenage plague.

[edit] Stupid irrelevant threads

At the bottom of the profile for each film, you will find all kinds of stupid threads created by asshats who have nothing better to do with their time.

Common threads include:

THE ENDING???????????

Where a bunch of nerdish geeks sit around discussing what happened in the end, mainly because they are too fucktarded to work something out without a big sign telling them what happened.

Occasionally the resident regulars go in and start telling everybody how stupid they are and outlining their theory for the ending, which makes no fucking sense at all.

Joe is dead????

Where stupid geeks wonder whether or not their favorite character is dead. Even if, in the last five seconds, you see the main character blow their brains out, some dumbass will still question whether or not the main character dies or not.

It generally takes a few half-baked theories, such as the person who died was actually a hologram or dummy, before people realise that they are idiots.

Film Interpretation

You do know that Ed Tom and Anton Chigurh are the same person, right? [1]

The Glorious "Schindler's List" subforum

Watch out for this one, it delivers the most lulz out of the whole of IMDB. Based on a fucktarded movie about Nazis, made by Steven Spielberg, who is responsible for Star Wars and is also a jew, it is your typical "ZOMG TEH NAZIS ARE SOOO BAD OMG THAT'S SO SAD HOW THEY KILLED THE JEWS THEY WERE EVIL EVIL EVIL" film.

Because it spreads this zionist crap, it won an Oscar. Anyway, here you can find all kinds of fucktards who argue with each other about Israel and Palestine, basically the same as anywhere else. As usual, any time somebody (usually a troll) says something which threatens the fucktard jews, they all cry "ANTI-SEMITE". Little do they know that nobody gives a shit whether its racist or not, and the argument continues. Forever.

Is this movie okay for my 5 year old?

IMDb users find it hilarious to go into the forum for every single R-rated film ever made, and ask if it's okay for their five year old to watch. Sadly, many users are fucktarded enough to fall for this and believe that the poster is actually serious.

[edit] Cheap Lulz From IMDb

Or you can do this

1. Register an account at IMDb, so you can post in the forums.
2. Go into any popular, or recently released movie.
3. Make a thread with the topic "This movie is a total ripoff of...", insert any movie, whatsoever, in place of the ellipsis.
4. Watch them start fighting with one another for fifty pages.
(Note: If one of your threads doesn't work, make another one, with a different movie, they will not remember you made the last one, because most IMDb users are retarded.)
5. Tell Cutenicespoiledprincess that she's a wanker and that she can go bloody fuck herself in her anus with her mother's worn out fuckstick.

For extra lulz, visit forums related to shit bands such as Greenday or Fallout Boy. Saying anything that isn't along the lines of "OMG BEST BAND EVAR!!!" will result in the butthurt of many 16 year old girls and many pages of fun at the expense of others.

[edit] Updates

You now need either a cellphone, a bank account or a Amazon account to register a new account to IMDb. This further add to the crapiness of an already extremly crappy site. It also removes from the fun of trolls since they can only use one cellphone once. Lots of whining and bitching was heard on IMDb the day of the transition. Many banhammers were used on the trolls, who now have to settle with masturbating to the new page design, which looks like shit smeared on a canvas. But still there are many trolls on IMDb, doing it for the lulz as always. This further proves that the IMDb administration are retards who fail at life. All you have to do is register many accounts at once and you can last practically forever. Despite what they might claim.