Indiana

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Indiana is the time zone you have to cross going to Chicago. It is best known for coining the phrase, "Are we there yet?" With highways spanning OVER 9000 miles across the heartland of the Confederacy, it's no wonder they made a law against truckers having sex in phone booths. The state is sometimes also known as the Crossroads of America since it serves as the center of where every major city dumps its out-of-state garbage [1].

1 People
2 Culture
3 Economy
4 Cities
5 Time Zone
6 Indiana Official State Motto
7 Great Moments in Indiana History
8 Famous Who's yers

[edit] People

A "Who’s yer". Note the lack of a nose and overalls.

Indiana's biggest bluff is the fact that it has the highest percent population of rednecks of any non-Southern state. A significant number of black people also live in certain areas but the only reason why they are allowed to is because they make up the bulk of the Pacers basketball team, since everybody knows that Whitey can’t jump.

Indiana residents are called "Hoosiers" due to the fact that nobody knows how to pronounce "Indianan". Some argue that the term originates from asking visitors "Who'sh 'ere?" while others claim it refers to frontiersmen constantly brawling with each other and having to ask "Whose ear?" they bit off to keep track of things. In reality, it comes from all of the raunchy, incestuous sex that Indiana men had with their sisters/cousins/daughters, constantly yelling, "Who’s yer daddy?" during this. The term caught on quickly and is still used today, despite the fact that in the rest of the Midwest (in fact, the rest of the world), "hoosier" is used to refer to fat, smelly, white trash. Pointing this out to a Hoosier is a terrific IRL drama-generating technique, unless they are not white trash; then they will just shrug and agree with you.

[edit] Culture

Indiana culture revolves around four things: corn, basketball, meth labs, and NASCAR. Other pastimes include:

Growing corn
Harvesting corn
Eating corn flakes
Making cornbread

[edit] Economy

Major Exports

niggers
fat people
meth
teen pregnancies
STD's
College graduates (Indiana has the lowest rate of college graduates who remain in the state after graduating. Srsly!)

and most importantly

stupidity

Major Imports

anything Walmart sells

[edit] Cities

Indiana has no cities, just bumfuck farmtowns and the occasional gas station. The closest thing to a metropolitan area is the capital of Indianapolis, which is nothing more than a Indy Car motor speedway surrounded by a series of trailer parks occupied by rednecks and niggas. These two groups often use chainsaw fights to choose which piece of wood they'd like to live under.

South Bend is just one gigantic goddamn fucking homeless shelter, with the occasional off-Broadway show like "Ingrown pubic hairs: The Musical" and rumors are they have a football team there.

Jasper is the wood capital of the world, without the aid of Viagra. Their high school basketball team sucks so much, their only state championship was in 1949. They have an annual festival called "Strassenfest", which is German for Mardi Gras.

Evansville is one of those major cities without fancy buildings. Instead, it's strewn with shitloads of highways and will have a clover-shaped road on the way.

Some people claim that Gary is also a major city but this is a lie since it is actually just a large public housing project owned by Chicago for the poverty.

[edit] Time Zone

Indiana cant actually make up its mind what time zone to be in. I quote; "Most of Indiana is in the Eastern Time Zone". MOST? WTF?

This is a significant improvement for the State. Until 2006, most of Indiana refused to accept Daylight Saving Time. The effect of some regions being in CDT, EDT, and EST simultaneously meant there were literally five distinct Time Zones in this one State. The website, What Time Is It In Indiana? although humorously titled, had been a valuable tool for figuring out WTF.

[edit] Indiana Official State Motto

"I was born in a small town. Learned to masturbate in a small town. Sister got pregnant in a small town, everybody blamed it on me!"

[edit] Great Moments in Indiana History

November 6, 1811 - A third of William Henry Harrison’s troops are pwned at the Battle of Tippecanoe, one of the heaviest losses for US troops in the entire war against the Indians.
1924 - The KKK wins elections and gains control of the Indiana state legislature and governorship [2].
August 29, 1958 – Michael Jackson born in Gary, Indiana.
March 1997 Some chick really, really likes Notre Dame Football and gets in a shitload of trouble over her fangirly ways: Embezzlement scandal
January 11, 2006 - Protests on soldiers’ funerals from Westboro Baptist Church prompts the Indiana General Assembly to ban all demonstrations at funerals. [3]
April 2, 2006 - Indiana dashes headlong into the 19th century by observing Daylight Saving Time for the first time in its history. Cries of "how the fuck am I supposed to get to work on time" surround the state like a dense fog. Thousands contemplate suicide as Old Country Buffet opens an hour late.

[edit] Famous Who's yers

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