Indian

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Indian sometimes need to goggled stuff

Image of the typical Indian citizen.

This is a typical man from India on his nightjob, where as his dayjob is driving a taxi.

:D

Indians by law are required to say "Thank you! Come again!"

An Indian is a person from India. Old people and Disney employees think Injuns are pronounced the same.

[edit] Feather or Dot?

If you see an Indian and you do not know which kind it is, all you need to do is breathe through your nose and look at its head. If it reeks of mothballs (or tobacco) and has facial hair (including the women), it is from India. If, however, you see pigtails, a feather and no facial hair, then, my friend, you have encountered an "Injun". If it is sleeping in the middle of the day, you've found a Mexican.

[edit] Where you can find your own Indian!

The best place to meet an Indian from India is on the phone. Simply phone tech support and in a matter of hours you’ll be speaking with your very own Indian! Ask him things about your computer and teh internets and indulge yourself in all the lulz of their funny accents.

[edit] India Indians Fail At Web Design

You can also go on outsourcing programming websites to demand a project in which you'll have tens of thousands of Indians flocking with proposals to do something for peanuts to feed their elephants. Do not expect quality as they REALLY suck at anything besides suggesting going to Google.com over the phone. Think of them as jews without skills.

Be sure to:

• Keep them hooked by talking about money.
• Throw some racial slurs in that'll go over their head.
• Use big words that they won't understand.
• Close out with a proposition for sex to PWN them.

[edit] How to speak Indian

Here are some traditional Hindi phrases:

Papa ding

2.99

Vishnu

Ganesh

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh

Mekkalekkahimekkahineyho

Popadom

NAAN! NAAN!

Curry

excuse me sirs i am haveing mobile phone offer for you yes please?

This is an Indian Version of Thriller (subtitled)

The man in the above video is also the current sex idol in India and is the hottest man living in the whole country.

[edit] Famous Indian People

• Mohandas Gandhi
• Sanjaya Malakar
• The Great Khali
• Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
• Gautama Buddha

[edit] Indian Jobs

There are not many jobs in India, as they're all peasants who live in piles of mud huts and shit on the road. Indian universities graduate millions of doctors, dentists, and lawyers every year but nobody in India can afford healthcare or lawyers. So they read Visual Basic for Dummies on the airplane ride to the United States and come to America under H1-B and L1 visas for Bill Gates slave labor coding sweatshops (and you wonder why Windows sucks?).

Contrary to popular belief this type of raghead isn't Muslim or Arab. Is this awesome (Y/N)?

If they stay in India they might take jobs in their hometown:

• Tech support
• Bollywood 'actor'
• Beggar (Protip: If you're a rich white single woman, do visit India sometime)
• Those cunts who sell you plastic crap outside anything worth seeing, because they know you're a decadent westerner (hint hint, you're white).
• Taxi driver
• Farmer
• Priest
• Elephant
• Person who phones up random people asking them to buy stuff
• Sword maker
• Big Issue salesman

After coming to America to work for Bill Gates for a few years, they get American citizenship and demand minimum wage so they can bring their entire family over. Bill Gates fires them, so they start businesses with their savings:

• Buy a 7-11, Dunkin' Donuts, or other Stop-n-Rob franchise
• Buy a Taxi
• Start a curry restaurant
• Get a liquor license
• Import Heroin from the home country

Some of them restart their careers in the United States as doctors, dentists, and lawyers. The failures work at Fry's. In Britain, however all doctors seem to be Indian, a coincidence? No