Indie
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Short for independent. Apparently the term can be applied to several things, like music, film, Morrissey or even software.
Also a subculture characterized by an obsession with indie music or art, the lesser-known the better. Indie scenewhores hunt for shitty music that nobody else knows about, because knowing of and listening to music that's completely unheard-of obviously makes them better than you. Most likely they will find this music far away from conservative eyes. The desire to be indie can appear in almost any genre of current music, but most often makes its presence known in emo and punk communities as well as on LJ and other internets sites.
It is often hard to distinguish between a female indie scenewhore and a male indie scenewhore. It is best to conclude that guys with the medium length layered hair are fags. They have it because it makes them an INDIVIDUAL and because every other indie fag does, because Bright Eyes looks soooo stylish.
Normally prancing around in the night club, indie scenewhores dress like tramps and grow their hair really long. Please do not be encouraged to give them money. They are not poor or deprived, but merely have a mental disorder. It is best to tell them to contact the Salvation Armyor Samaritans for clothing and counseling.
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[edit] Indie Is Totally A Genre
Many pretentious fucks would proclaim that indie is not a genre of music but an attitude or some crap like that. This is a lie. The truth is that all indie bands sing about toasters, wear Chuck Taylors, stand around looking "random," make vague references to history in order to seem intelligent and post-modern, and have at least one member playing a fucked-up instrument like an electric accordion so they can be "different." Along with spelling "color" with a "u", realising that indie is a genre is one of many things British people do to piss American off. Another is to put Oasis in said genre.
Indie subgenres include:
- Riotgrrl - Possibly the stupidest name of a genre of all time (Grrl, get it? GET IT???), combines the crappiness of punk with the stupidness of feminism. Also played mostly by girls, and everybody knows that silly girls can't play rock music! So stop it already!
- Post-punk revival - A revival of a shitty, minimalist genre from the 80's that no one cared about. Examples of post-punk revival bands include, Arctic Monkeys, Franz Ferdinand, Bloc Party, Interpol, ETC. You can usually hear this drivel on the radio, or in a gay porn flick about Thai ass fuckers living in the center of the earth. Although Bloc Party would like you to believe that their music belongs in various high art indie flicks
[edit] Ex-Chav Indie
It is likely that when Chavs grow out of being cuntish urbanites, they become cuntish arrogant indiefags. This is an event that is usually triggered by over exposure to Myspace whores. The transformation is a gradual process that takes place in the following 4 steps.
- 1 - The Chav transforms from wearing grey pyjamas and fake gold chains to wearing slightly baggy jeans and pink and blue stripy smart-casual shirts.
- 2 - The Chav hides his collection of R&B and Rap CDs under his bed.
- 3 - The Chav ceases to pointlessly hang around outside MacDonald’s on a Saturday night - this is replaced with an indie trip to the cinema to watch a poofy film about a gay bank robber (probably staring Ben Stiller ).
- 4 - The Chav is no longer a Chav. He is now a qualified Indie.
The reaction from onlookers usually remains the same after the transition.
When the subject is a Chav, the reaction is 'What a Cunt.'
When the subject is an Indie, the reaction is 'What a Cunt.'
[edit] Seminal Indie Bands
- The Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Has a wailing hag as a singer, also a carbon copy of no wave band "Teenage Jesus and the Jerks" which is headed by the most retarded person in American history, Lydia Lunch
- Modest Mouse - Their only claim to fame is having stolen Johnny Marr from his own personal retarded projects. They sound like half-assed funk with a failed yodeller as a singer
- The Gossip - Has a horribly fat bitch as a singer 'Beth Ditto', who said in an interview she doesn't wear deodourant because punks don't wear deodourant and she is a punk!! And then she complained about Hot Topic not stocking clothes her size. She is horribly obese, stinks, and worse, gets naked at shows. She also sings about feminism lol
- Sufjan Stevens - Makes songs that sound so compressed and minimalistic they sound more like Mobile phone ringtones than actual songs. Also looks like the retard from Rain Man.
He is too good to be indie.DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS - Joanna Newsom - Stupid bitch who sounds like Scrooge McDuck trying to masturbate whilst sucking helium and sings about retarded crap like peaches and spoons. This is apparently 'post-modern', which translates as 'shitty'. She also plays a harp, which supposedly makes her interesting, despite the fact that the world hasn't been interested in the harp for a long time and this woman does not change that fact.
- Slint - Slint's music is called 'math rock' because it uses 'compound time signatures'. Not interested? Neither was most of the rest of the world, but indie kids will repeatedly try to talk to you about Slint's time signatures. If you actually listen to a Slint song you will realize it sounds like Indie's attempt at heavy metal: a lame, watered down, intellectualized version of what was dog turd in the beginning. Slint are also responsible for post-rock in the same way that Trent Reznor is probably in a large way responsible for the dire modern angst-rock fad: thanks a lot, guys.
- The Smiths - The Smiths contain not one but two huge indie fuck-head icons - Johnny Marr and Morrissey. Marr, the guitarist, was praised for writing rhythm guitar parts any retard could come up with (wow chord sequences!!) but then playing them with a hundred guitars so you just get a synth-esque orchestral mush in the background of any Smiths song. Wow, that's talent! Morrissey is basically responsible for making it cool for Indie kids to whine, which allowed emo influence to slowly creep into the genre, which finally resulted in emo/indie shit such as Fallout Boy and My Chemical Romance. The Smiths themselves while nothing in shittiness compared to these bands were just samey boring 80s pop music with pretensions towards art
- Sonic Youth - Wow Sonic Youth use stupid guitar tunings and hack at their guitars' pickups with screwdrivers so they sound really shitty!!! only heard on college radio by deaf listeners Go independent rock!!! They also say that they listen to Alice Cooper and Frank Zappa but everyone knows thats a bunch of bull crap.
- Pavement - A lame rip-off of a post-punk band called The Fall who taped all their music with shitty equipment. Since Pavement Indie kids have learnt to basically choose a famous band and rip them off. And also to use shitty equipment. It is seriously seen as beneficial in the indie community to use equipment that produces poor quality recordings, probably to cover up poor-quality music
- Candle - Some whiney jagoff who has a band name but is really only one guy. His music sounds like a cross between the sound of one taking a shit and vomiting at the exact same time. You may think that sounds cool, but in reality being subjected to this shit may qualify as torture...or baby fuck.
- Elephant 6 - Not a band but a "collective" of bands (indie kids also tend to be communist cunts), Elephant 6 took queues from Pavement by basically producing rip-off bands. Of Montreal are Elephant 6's rip off of The Kinks and The Beach Boys (though more recently with dance music influence because the singer takes it up the ass); Apples In Stereo are a very very shitty watered down version of The Beatles in their psychedelic phase (Strawberry Fire is practically the same song as Strawberry Fields); and Neutral Milk Hotel are shitty regurgitated folk music with naff trumpet solos.
- The White Stripes - Sometime last Thursday, some skinny 40-year-old hipster and his wife/sister failed to learn how to tune or play their instruments. They recorded a bunch of cacophonous screaming and indiscriminate drum-bashing to a music video of Legos masturbating and were an overnight success.
[edit] Even Moar Indie Bands
- Bright Eyes - Remember that time where you got bullied on the playground? Connor Oberst got bullied more. Remember that time where you tried to hang yourself in the shower stall of your dormitory? Connor Oberst tried that and failed - twice. Remember when your uncle made you give him a blow job while you were going through a car wash? Nobody could hear Connor Oberst either, but he cried longer and harder. Bright Eyes exemplifies all there is to hate about indie and emo music. But, if you dare question his "aptitude as an artist" to anybody between the ages of 16 and 25 be prepared for a stroll through living hell. We all know sounding like you have cerebral palsy when you sing is deep AND hip, as Bright Eyes has sculpted the woeful, pissy singer facade quite well. To quote another indie band, (NO WAI) Cursive, Bright Eyes can be summed up in simple lyrics, "Well here we go again, the art of acting weak,fall in love to fail to boost your CD sales". Strange, the two bands come from the same label, Saddle Creek, which is about the most obnoxious thing to come out of Nebraska since... oh wait, it's the only thing to come out of fucking Nebraska. Ever.
- Death Cab for Cutie - If you've ever wondered what it would sound like if your friends fat little brother would sound like if you gave him a record contract and a recording booth, this could be it. Take a look at lead singer Ben Gibbard and tell me he does not look like Corey Feldmann from when he was in that movie Stand By Me. As for the actual music, they have better things than the ultimate sap song "I Will Follow You Into The Dark", which is apparently about some fat kids girlfriend becoming an hero.
- The Decemberists - While their lead guitarist was in a guitar off with Stephen Colbert, this does not keep from the fact that their ultra-literate pretentious douchebags who whip out even the most obscurest of vocab words to impress their fans. Who, in turn, use said vocab words in attempts to impress others, which in turn results with their asses getting beat.
- The Mars Volta - This piece of shit "progressive rock" excuse for a group of total assholes raping instruments have a talent for pissing people off in ways emo bands have failed at doing for years. They combine shitty riffs with a filter making the guitar sound as if one were getting raped in the ear by Michael Jackson and a sandpaper condom and a singer that may as well be Michael Jackson raping your ear with a sandpaper condom, as his incoherent squealing is comparable to what I imagine would be Jackson jacking off on a microphone trying to record an emergency siren. This predictability goes on for ten minutes per each track on any given album by then. Forget the meaningless, opaque lyrics, you can't understand them (and not just because half the time they're in some random, incomprehensible dialect) and forget the sudden key, tempo, and style changes; you'll be busy burning the record by the time those kick in.
- The Microphones - White noise with a hint of craptacular ambiance, that supposedly tells a story throughout their entire albums, but fails to keep the listener interested when the first 5 minutes of their album Mount Eerie is static and bongos. Literally. It sounds like you're listening to a scratched CD.
- Mirah - Super jewbag (Mirah Yom Tov Zeitlyn - oy fuckin' GEVAULT, I was not lying.) indie woman creature whose songs are just screaming to be put on a soundtrack for the next big indie film, which will stop being big once the indiefucks who go to see it realize that it's gaining popularity and thus losing it's novelty. At least all her shit doesn't sound similar. Sort of like if you tripped acid and woke up on a steam powered paddleboat being fucked to consciousness by it's captain. That's different too.
- Editors - The band that one pimply desperate-to-be indie girl you know is always listening to on her Ipod while she sits on the bus (as she looks out the window and wishes she could be more like Juno). The one that only she knows about, and prides herself on that fact (despite the fact that they're not nearly as obscure in England as they are in America). Go to their Myspace and just attempt to argue the fact that all their songs don't sound the same. No srsly, doit.
- The Strokes - The Strokes are not indie. The Strokes are Car Commercial Rock. The music that they play in car commercials.
- The Postal Service - An electronically amped version of Death Cab for Cutie. It's pretty much the same fuckin' band with the same singer, except far more coked up. Sort of sounds like if you took a Super Nintendo and forced it to have sex with Death Cab. Also, "We Will Be Come Silhouettes" was also in a car commercial, so technically they are no longer indie and fall into the same genre as The Strokes. Also the song "Such Great Heights" was in an insurance company commercial. Or a delivery commercial. I don't know i forget.
[edit] "Indie" can also refer to:
- Indiana Jones, who kicks ass.
- A term used to describe the musical tastes of people who listen to emo but are still in denial.
- Nsync because they were on a minor label. (tell the indie-fucks)
- Steps (see above)
- Jews WHO REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE LORD JESUS CHRIST AS THEIR SAVIOUR
- Post-punk
- Ryan Long
- Anybody who makes relatively excellent Mixcds
<math>Insert formula here</math>== External links ==
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Indie is part of a series on Music. |
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