Invader Zim
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Invader Zim was a faggoty show about a dickless alien bent on world domination and the constant attempts by his aspie emo fuck-buddy from Earth to stop him. Given that it was created by fag overlord Jhonen Vasquez, its faggotry levels were predictably over 9000. Sensing its exploitability in the pre-teen faggot market, Hot Topic raped it with tee-shirts of the character GIR with quotes not even from the show!!! Hot Topic has beaten this trend to death and still continues to beat its rotting corpse. True fans of the show have gotten so sick of the over merchandising that they have quit liking the show. Also, Jhonen Vasquez signed it to Nickelodeon, who censored it so bad anyone above the age of thirteen would not find it funny excluding a little slapstick chuckle. Jhonen Vasquez's comic stylings are clearly beyond the intelligence of the average human.
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The Characters
Dib: A drama queen outcast with a massive head, hell bent on exposing Zim for what he really is: a horrible alien monster set out to destroy the Earth. Voiced by Andy Berman. Basically, he's Mulder as a kid.
Zim: Physically unable to stop yelling about even the most unimportant thing, Zim is on a mission to destroy Earth in order to appease his leaders and reclaim his position as an Irken Invader. Little does he know that the leaders fucking hate him and sent him to a randomly chosen planet for the lulz, hoping he'd die. Voiced by Richard Horvitz, whom is most commonly known as Dagget from The Angry Beavers.
Gir: Zim's idiotic little robot sidekick, known as a SIR unit among the Irkens. The Tallest just threw some random shit into his head instead of giving Zim a functional robot. In other words, Gir is a retard. Fortunately, Zim is too much of a moron to notice, and The Tallest find this hilarious. It's notably ironic that one of the most loved characters on the show is voiced by a horrifying monster of a person named Rikki Simmons.
Gaz: Gaz is Dib's crazy bitch sister who's willing to kill for video games, and essentially did in the episode "Game Slave 2", but death makes the kids cry so they tweaked the ending to fit the mold, making it ironic that most of the viewers of Invader Zim were non-conformist emofags. Voiced by Melissa Fahn.
Professor Membrane: Dib and Gaz's estranged mad scientist father, Membrane either made his kids in a test tube or raped one of his assistants because you never see their mother, ever. In reality, she probably left him because he's fucking crazy. Voiced by Rodger Bumpass - who, incidentally, also is Squidward on SpongeBob. May also be the inspiration for Dr. Steel's fashion sense.
Ms. Bitters: Every teacher you had in grade school, Bitters eats children alive and never teaches them much of anything, other than how to skin a moose. She hates and terrifies the children, making her most likely a Jew. Nobody knows who voices Ms. Bitters. In fact, she didn't even show up in Invader Zim until they animated it.
Plot Summary
Completely original in plot and writing, the show sets around a retarded alien named Zim (he's from the Planet Irk, therefore Irken) who begs his leaders, The Almighty Tallest, to give him a second chance after he screwed the pooch on the last galactic conquest effort his incredible race set out to complete. The Tallest pretend to care and send him on a mission to his death with a defective robot named Gir, and are completely surprised to find he actually made it to Earth.
Meanwhile, a spastic emo aspie named Dib hears the broadcast from Zim's planet and promptly freaks the fuck out. His family, used to his stupidity, ignores him, just like everyone else does through the rest of the series. Even though he has the technology to kill fucking everyone, Dib still takes the abuse from his classmates. The show is pretty much a scenario in which the hero and the villain are too incompetent to thwart each other or save/take over the world. Unfortunately, Zim never realizes he is a loser and fails to become an hero, which would have been a hilarious plot point.
Invader Zim ran for a little more than one season, creating a detestable fanbase, loads of merchandise, fan sites, rabid hellfans, a cult following, and general mass destruction in its wake. Violence in school escalated as kids argued over which episode was the best, which character was the best, and anyone who said the show sucked was immediately slaughtered with a plastic fork from the school cafeteria. Parents who failed to let their kids have the TV when the show was on faced a dilemma not unlike feeding a gremlin after midnight. It was like crack to the fans, and if they didn't get their Zim Fix, bad shit would happen.
Fanbase
Of course, Emofags and Goths worldwide swarmed like dicks to Paris Hilton over this show, storming Hot Topic for the slew of merchandise that followed the release of Invader Zim so they could continue to be unique and original. About 80% of Invader Zim fans are whining, eyeliner addicted teenagers. It was a hideous new breed of human, if you'd even want to classify them as human: The Zimfags. Ten times more deadly than Furfags and holding onto one of the worst Rule 34 image reservoirs in all of history, Zimfags went around (and still are) scarring minds one DeviantArt submission at a time. (Incredibly, there are some Invader Zim fans who are absolutely not crazy at all. Srsly.) HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS
But the "art" was nothing, my friends; nothing compared to the terror of the fanfics. Riddled with grammar bad enough to give Sandygurl a run for her retarded money and full of stupid plots, bad fan characters, and flamingly bad sex scenes, Zimfags all around would read with sweaty palms and drooling mouths as they fap-fap-fapped to something that would fit very nicely into The Pain Series. The small percent of Zimfics not surrounding perverted sexcapades are a lot like rap music: once you've read one, you've read them all.
| —-Shay Caron of Forrester Labs proclaiming his/her source of divine inspiration |
Invader Zim forums still exist.
Bloaty's pizza hog
HAAAAAAAAYYY YOU EAT SOME PIZZA!
Zimfics of Pain
Swing 21 is responsible for this fanfic. A little preview of what horrors await you:
‘All this pain and suffering makes Zim horny,’ answered the Invader with a smirk.
‘But we just…’
A painful twitch of his nipple transformed anything he had to say in a needy whimper. Soon, Zim was kissing him hungrily, claws roaming under his shirt. Dib’s hands traveled down, past the red sleeveless shirt, playing with the button of the black pants. He fumbled a bit with it, grumbling against Zim’s lips, eager to get their clothing –once again– out of the way.
Here is an entire community on Fanfiction.net dedicated to ZADR fics.
The Canceling of Zim
Zimfags worldwide blew their brains out when they heard the news that Zim was being canceled; butthurt was had, petitions were signed, forums were created, websites were formed, and nothing ever came of it other than a lot of irritating bullshit.
Butthurt Towards Nickelodeon
Of course, since any idiot with a computer can use Petition Online, there was a petition made to try and bring Zim back on the air. Nickelodeon laughed and ignored the retards, and they were left staring at the idiotic comments left by petition signers, ranting and raving about how it was the best show ever to hit Nick, obviously ignoring the classics like Ren & Stimpy, Rocko's Modern Life, Cow & Chicken (that was Cartoon Network you dirty double nigger), Angry Beavers and Zoey 101.
Jhonen's Take on the Cancelling
The Aftermath
After a year or so of whining, suicide, and depression, one of the rabid fans of Invader Zim eventually slept with Nickelodeon (and probably Jhonen too) hardcore in return for a DVD release. What Nickelodeon did was laugh at them, made them their bitch, and then sold the rights for Zim to Anime Works. Three volumes were released, packed with bonus features, unaired episodes, and though it was rumored to be, the producers must have pussied out because the unedited version of The Worst X-Mas Ever was nowhere to be found. Among the unaired episodes was "The Girl Who Cried Gnome", which is actually a documentary on the all-too common species Attentoinus whorebagus. In the episode, a little girl gets her foot stuck in a hole, and even though she can get out safe and fine, she freaks out; rescue teams and news vans ensue.
DVD Bonus material includes subtitles in the Irken Language, the original pilot, interviews with the cast, and commentary, which surely gave a collective orgasm to every Zimfag on the planet.
| —Typical response from a Zimfag |
Trolling Potential
Zimfags are so easily riled up, it should be considered a crime against man not to fuck with these people. DeviantArt is riddled with Zim fanclubs, Zimfags, and ZADR lovers; take your pick and post the lulz. TheFMAisMine invadersourrocks, invadermim, and foxx-demon-fire are all zimfags that are easily riled. Troll the fuck out of their pages and post the lulzy journals! On another note a great way to find zimfags is through the clubs that abound and one of the most fun ways are the ones with fetishes like the lesbian xenophile irken-femme-love or the gay xenophiles of the zadr club.
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See Also
External Links
- ZADR Fan Club
- Dear God no. Zim cosplay.
- Professor Dumbass
- God no, there's more.
- Oh god.
- Oh god.
- Oh Jesus dear fucking shitting assballs god.
- Invader Zim T-Shirts
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