Iowa

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Iowa is the place where corn and tofu come from, not to be confused with potatoes or Idaho. It is named after the tribe of natives who were deported to Kansas to make room for immigrant Christians and atheists.

How to find Iowa

Cow Pies

Cows and Tornadoes

1 Farming
2 Weather
3 Politics
4 Government
5 Teh Intertubes
6 See Also

[edit] Farming

Iowa is most famous for corn, pigs and bathtub meth. If you take a deep breath in summer you can smell the stagnant stench of hog shit and methamphetamine.

[edit] Weather

During the summer, Iowa smells like corn cum because teh corn fucks slower than old people. Iowa is very flat and has almost no trees, so the wind and odors will find you anywhere you try to hide. Farmers often do too many rain dances to make the cow pies grow, causing the Mississippi River to flood and kill everyone. It's like New Orleans but with tornadoes and rednecks instead of hurricanes and black people.

During the winter, Iowa is butt cold due to the wind and global cooling, but it does smell better.

[edit] Politics

Iowans are famous for always holding their caucuses before anyone else. Ironically, nobody in Iowa actually knows what a caucus is.

Iowa is also politically attractive because it is the birth place of James T. Kirk and the site of Kevin Kostner's baseball diamond.

In the 2004 presidential election, Iowa was a swing State that ultimately voted to re-elect Bush, thereby causing the Iraq war to not end.

They are understandably very sorry for this.

[edit] Government

Iowa is one of five Mid-West communist states, bordering on New York, Oklahoma, Tennessee, and Wyoming.

[edit] Teh Intertubes

Iowa was once mentioned in Wired magazine 10 years ago.

[edit] See Also

Ben Johnson

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