IRC

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A typical IRC conversation.

Another typical IRC conversation.

What IRC looks like if you are on insub.

Logging private IRC conversations and posting them in public are always a great source of drama.

What you look like while on IRC.

Internet Relay Chat (IRC) (AKA Multiplayer Notepad) has been around for 65 billion years. It's the bastard offspring of UNIX talk and ntalk protocols.

To put it simply, IRC is like a normal chat system, except instead of chat (which doesn't happen as everyone is either idle or a bot) as the main activity, the main activity of IRC is op-wars and denial of service attacks. Ops are people who kick and ban those from a room who suck up the least (the non-ops don't have that so they denial of service attack them instead), which causes the banned users to retaliate by DDoSing the ops and the IRC network and ChanServ, then gaining ops on a split.

Unsurprisingly, the existence of channels (to make communication a bit easier) created potential for vast amounts of drama, which quickly transformed from being potential to actual drama, human beings being what they are. Channel and network drama happens at an exponential rate of growth, but since anything rarely goes past words in the IRC protocol, it's entirely harmless and pointless. Stupid drama. IRC also is used to transfer two very types of important communication.

IRC users are on a continuous quest to gain more status. There are always more channels and more servers on which to gain ops. IRC is also a center for warez. Once you've got lots of ops, IRC users can try and claim the "LeetLadder". You've never seen anything so useless as someone with lots of IRCops who tries to use that status IRL.

Most people use smileys to express their feelings on IRC. Meanings of smileys differ from channel to channel. For example, people on one channel might say "::D" when they see something funny, but on another they might say "=DDDd" to express the same feeling. Acronyms like LOL, ROFL or LMAO are also used to express feelings but, as with smileys, their emotional content differ greatly from channel to channel.

Much lulz on IRC can be had at the expense of nubs, who are often told to scroll up after pasting old memes.

Also see:

Networks

Today there are several thousand running IRC networks in the world. They run various implementations of IRC servers, and are administered by various groups of Ops (who are identified by the "@" before their screen name and the Satan palpably leaking from their black, black hearts), but the protocol exposed to IRC users is very similar, and all IRC networks can be accessed by the same client software.

Anonymuncule

Home of the recently resurrected ED IRC. *irc.anonymuncule.com

Chatnets

Officially the new Partyvan. Has 5 servers. New home of #711chan, #wutchan, #pn, and #insurgency, among others.

irc://irc.chatnets.net/

euIRC

European IRC Network, where all the Eurofags hang out since the Servers with US-people are "too stupid" for them. Nobody outside of Europe knows about euIRC though, making it tantamount to a concentration camp.

EFnet

Eris Free Net, the original IRC server network. By far the largest, most influential, and most culturally prolific IRC network. Occasionally those unfamiliar with IRC ask "What does EFnet got that _Insert random retarded small network here_ hasn't?"

The only proper answer to this is "everything". Except nickname services. It has great channel services that registers your channel when as you idle as an operator! You don't have to mess with registrations, passwords, email validation... 'cause it's leet like that.

The pastime of EFnet is OP wars: fighting over who is channel operator. These are won by whoever can perform denial of service attacks the best. They are started by: (1) boredom of visitor, (2) OPs who ban people from boredom.

The Penis Pump trolls often times keep the EFnet opers busy, because opers are summoned to their channel at least 100 times a day. This has died down as of late, but going into #efnet and calling the ops fags is still fun.

EFnet's channel #israel is a major source of lulz as it is filled with Zionists. Other channels of note include #computers (sup port forwarding), #anxiety, #depression, #space_ghetto, and #sex, none of them really need any explanation as you will find the lulz within the first few minutes of connecting.

IRCnet

IRCnet is also the original IRC network (depending on whom you ask). Actually, the original network does not exist anymore, because it was split into EFnet and IRCnet somewhere in the mid-1990s after some deep disagreement and a lot of drama between European and American IRC operators. This event is called The Great Split by IRC historologists. In practice, most of the European, Australian and Japanese servers (as well as an American server named Eris) went to the IRCnet side and the rest of the world to the EFnet side.

IRCnet is now mostly populated by European nerds and old farts who have been using the network for the last 15 to 40 years and are definitely not going to switch away. There are also many Polish and Italian trolls and that's why Poland and Italy have been permanently banned from most of the IRCnet channels. And yes, since the IRCnet operators are bored purists who don't want to change anything, IRCnet has even less services-like functionality than EFnet.

Undernet

What IRC looks like if you are on Bantown.

An IRC network with only channel services and lots of people who idle and trade child porn. It only has around five servers these days, you'd think they could keep them from splitting. Capcom thought they would be clever and in Shameless Mega Man Spinoff #237, used the name for the computer network equivalent of Compton.

Partyvan Network GONE

Formerly formerly lulznet, and formerly Partyvan, the network consisted of roughly 12 servers, including 711chan's former IRC server PN. The network was home to #insurgency (formerly on EFnet), #tomgreen (formerly on Rizon until Axila took over), and various anon-oriented channels.

Partyvan has died. Januszeal told everybody to pack their shit and go home, so they did as he pulled the plug on services and Partyvan softly faded away. 95% of the decent Partyvan channels have since moved to Chatnets.

Rizon

Rizon servers

Home to #4chan and #1.0, faggots like ALTERNATIVE and awyeah, and many fansubbing animé faggot groups. The most frequent line articulated across Rizon is "^_^". In 2007, operator Jason Michael Downey received an IRL banhammer from the FBI and is currently working his way through a one year sentence for using a botnet to DOS other networks and their operators. One was unlucky enough to lose $19,500 because of the attacks, the biggest loss to the IRC world since Rob Levin met the front end of a Ford Taurus.

“	IRC is stupid. Go away.	„
—moot

Other Notable Networks

People sophisticatedly expressing their joy on IRC.

What IRC looks like if you are on Freenode.

irc.theinternetz.org is an IRC network with the largest /i/ (#invasion) channel around, also home to #888chan and #z103.
DalNet, where everyone was before they made it to UnderNet, former object of hatred for EFNet users. Now an internet ghost town.
The private network idlenet, governed by the evil cj contains the popular and dramatic channel insub. Don't go there, you won't like it.
Nightstar is where #wiigii! lives. You probably shouldn't go there either, as the stench of unwashed fanboy is strong.
EmpireIRC is probably the only place on the interwebz where there is around 5 servers to cater to 10 poke-nerds. It is a waste of time to even go there due to a weird cult following of a senior member by the nickname of Rex. His obsession with cows will break down even the toughest of minds and if that doesn't kill you listening to his mindless minions talk about him when he is not there will.
LinkNet is the home of most of the warez movement, but that will not be apparent upon entering it. Everyone moved there after they realized EFNet was just making them accessible to 13-year-old boys
zirc is the network of choice for users of the Something Awful forums. It is rumored that the SALJers are there too but noone is sure where now that #salj is defunct. Recent drama has led most servers and users to switch to the new network SynIRC.
Slashnet was created by Slashdot, and has attendant amounts of suck. Dupe channels are frequent and many channels are just thinly disguised trolls.
ICQNet is the official IRC network for popular chat protocol ICQ, so you just know it's going be AOLicious. ICQAOLNet funnels 13 year old boys, 16 year old girls and 45 year-old pedophiles in from their webpage, with promises of hot cyber. At first glance this may appear to be a joke, but amongst the top channels is #teens, # z40_Something and #Looking_For_Love.
Freenode is the crap network run by ~~Rob Levin~~ and is the IRC locale of choice for open source, Wikipedia, and Lunix fanboys, Consequently, the opportunities for drama are considerable.
GameSurge, is a North American IRC network focused on video games. It is here you will gain access to a plethora of channels dedicated to gaming. Whether you're looking for a team to join or to start, or simply to build upon, the network is home to all competitive NA teams and features channels that allow you to find scrims, ringers and teams. Counter-Strike: Source (CSS) and Counter-Strike 1.6 provide the network with the most activity, but it is also hosts official channels for other games such as TF2, L4D, CoD4, etc. Unfortunately, GameSurge also is home to the SourceNetwork, which owns and operates all the essential channels pertaining to CSS. The SourceNetwork's head hauncho, Tony, has his ass full of his face. His SourceNetwork, and ventrilo provider MaxFrag (which he ceaselessly advertises in his channels), are the only venues Tony has in life where he can stretch his e-peen. He is the physical inversion of King Midas in that everything he touches turns to shit. His gaming league Built On Energy (BOE) collapsed, his CSS team "mob" was a failure, and his forums receive more posts from spam bots than human beings. He is an icon of disrepute in the CSS scene. He is a shit stain on white linen cloth, a cockroach in a fine Italian wine sauce, and a super-imposed cock on a nude photo of Meagan Fox. See also, fagget.
Abducted IRC, a network for evil foreigners.
Underworldweb, a network for elitist loser drug tards.
DeltaAnime, usually for online games like Ragnarok, L2 Online, etc. -- Make sure to annoy the ops as much as you can here. They're all really blatant aspies. Paul, A co-owner, and Francisco(Delta) the owner, who both contain untold amounts of butthurt (Also Paul got v& once.)
IRCHighway, for teenage weeaboos and Desuchan.
AnonNet, the IRC network for UK anons.
Aniverse was the former server for animu and fansubbing groups before DDoS attacks and allegations of its owner, Ukyo who is
Austnet, simply the best IRC network to troll. If you get glined, leave it to attempt to reconnect...it'll work after a few tries. Everyone here is seemingly stupid.
Megatokyo, taking donation money to fly to Japan. Almost everyone that wasn't a faggot of #megatokyo jumped to Rizon making it the new home of absolute shit. Nothing of value was lost.
ARG-IRC, full of idiots, ex-channers, fun to troll, owner, Magick is sum elite haxxor home of the Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series IRC chat
Anthrochat Furry irc, easy to troll, fun to get them pissed.
Bitcast is pretty much an empty network that runs on iintens' servers. The only thing it is good for is for hackers to run their secret botnets - sometimes a few people drop by and dramachat - irc.bitcast.ws

For network statistics, rankings and a list of smaller networks, see netsplit.de and Search IRC

Clients

mIRC is widely believed to be the most popular IRC client for Windows.

ircII is the canonical UNIX IRC client, but its userbase has declined with the appearance of competing clients such as ircII-EPIC, BitchX, irssi, X-Chat etc. The irssi client is notable as the standard one for use in #insub, especially with hot gay.pl integration action.

Mac OS X can also run any Unix-like client in its command line or its window server, assuming you believe the myth that anybody actually uses Mac OS X.

Firefox users can get the Chatzilla extension.

Operafags don't need any add-on, eat that furfags.

A framework designed to incorporate IRC into other various other applications, such as games, is LibIRC, although it is still heavily under development.

Bots

Because IRC is a tedious bore, where the few and far between lulz drown in a sea of drama, people often leave. The jewel encrusted founders, who believe that user counts contribute to their e-penis, pad out the channel with unintuitive automated clients called bots. A bot’s job is to ensure you have no lulz at all by wearing the remaining human user-base down with constant abuse. Bots employ the following tactics:

spamming the Urban Dictionary definition of queef every quarter-second
repeating the same damn 6 quiz questions in sequence for 6 hours straight (which the players still fail to answer correctly)
kicking anyone who types more than 2 lines in 10 seconds
getting into kick-loops with each other
foiling your mass-kick antics

There are many different types of bots, but they’re all owned and configured by retards, so whatever positive features they have will be disabled, or twisted into various extremes of stupid.

See: madcow

Channel Operator (@)

Operators are the sysops of the IRC realm. They only exist to kick you repeatedly and Z-Line you when you make a faggy comment. They are power-hungry bastards with no sense of compassion. An Op on IRC has an @ symbol in front of his nick. Aside from idling, most time spent on IRC is from op wars--this is fighting over the power to be an op. OPs often grow bored on IRC and entertain themselves by kicking and banning people.

How To Get Ops

<superfreek> give me ops
<@retardop> ok
** channel set +o superfreek
<@superfreek> lol
** channel set +b retardop
** retardop has been kicked by superfreek (lol)
-retardop- omg bash.org

Fun Things To Do On IRC

Abuse Channel Mode +f; for example set /mode #channel +f [1t#b]:999 which will kick pretty much anyone saying anything in the channel.
Put people in kickban loops; Join a channel, register it with ChanServ, do /cs akick #channel add *!*@*, leave the channel, now type //raw join #channel $crlf mode #channel +e ~c:#(a channel that the targeted user is on) $crlf invite TargetUser #channel and watch.
Abuse ChanServ privileges; a fun thing to do is clearing out the entire channel by doing /cs clear #channel users which kicks everyone from the channel. Alternatively, to cause more destruction, do /cs akick #channel add *!*@* then /mode #channel +e ~c:(a channel alot of people in the channel are also on) then /cs akick #channel enforce. This will send everyone in the target channel that is on the alternate channel you specified into an infinite kickban loop, as well as clearing everyone else out. (Note: On most servers you must use an extban ~c: because ChanServ will detect normal except masks and remove them)
Abuse OperServ; go onto a populated channel and type /os akillchan kill +0 #channel Hi2u