Chris Crocker
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Chris Crocker a.k.a. itschriscrocker is an LOOZ-infested jew "20-year-old" camwhore, fugly faggot trap, and confessed brother fucker of indeterminable gender credited for giving a new meaning to the term "triple threat." He is best known for being the most sickeningly loyal Britney Spears fanboy ever shat into existence. Currently, Crocker has teamed up with Anonymous to battle Fox News [2]. Crocker isn't in Britney's top friends = an hero LULZ!
[edit] Crocker's 15 minutes
Following Britney Spears' so-called "performance" at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards, Crocker achieved insta-fame IRL after uploading an unintentionally hilarious video where he BAAAWLS for two minutes about the negative reception she has received. In his gut wrenching fanboy rant, he admonishes the media, fellow faggot Perez Hilton, and everyone else on the planet for making fun of a fat chick with issues.
Certain viewers have noted that Cocker's view of Britney Spears has crossed from obsession to an actual psychological disorder called, "erotomania." Where, basically, as far as Crocker is concerned, he and Britney are best friends 4 lyfe. S/he is also a looser that edits wikipedias bejibitch here.
Skip to :58, then to 1:26, then to 1:40, that's all there is to see.
SUMMARY: BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Crocker's embarrassing and horrific Britney Spears fan video spread across the news and blogs alike at a speed faster than the speed of light, Numa Numa and Chocolate Rain combined, receiving over 3 million views on YouTube and undoubtedly millions more abroad in just TWO DAYS! It sparked dozens of parodies and doubts over Crocker's sanity (not that anyone ever thought he was sane in the first place), and actually caused Perez Hilton to do something funny by mocking his video in response to Cocker's anti-Perez statements.
Despite the fact that none of this attention is flattering, Crocker has chosen embrace this attention so much that he has uploaded previously unseen footage of the rant where he threatens to become an hero to show just how much he cares about Britney.
If recent Crocker bitching-via-webcam masterpieces Eat My Cornhole and Shitty Bitch weren't already enough material to make him the most hated YouTube user, Leave Britney Alone surely finished the job. Crocker's psychotic fan rage is pretty much summed up by this well received early comment on the video.
Evidence:
[edit] Britney Responds to the Infamous Video
[edit] Chris Crockers Biggest Fan/ Supposed Friend
His Myspace
His Youtube Videos
[edit] HAKD???!!11!!
hellz yea. bby got hakd in da booti. hella. HELLLajdkj.
No, but really as of December 7th, 2007 Chris Crocker has been hacked. This was a bulletin that was posted:
"Here is the deal. For the past year, i have been acting as someone who I am not.
The truth is, I am really bi-sexual, i think i might be STRAIGHT. i've been putting on an act, just to get attention for the past year.
I am sorry i let you down :(
I also think TrainReq is the leetest hacker alive."
Note the incorrect spelling of "1337".
[edit] Chris's Frequently Asked questions:
Q: Are you a guy, or girl?
A: No-one is sure.
Q: Are you gay?
A: HELL YES!
Q: Did your mother mistreat you?
A: people tend to think so.
Q: Woah, dude, you seriously idolized brittany spears?
A: Who else is as insane as me?
Q: you suck.
A: thats not a question, and yes.
Q: Can i call you Chris Cocker?
A: Please do!
[edit] Other Videos
| —Chris Crocker, On fagging up youtube. |
bitch plz
nigga plz
This video serves as proof that Chris is not batshit insane and his opinions should be taken into consideration.
Fucking Up Niggers Chris Crocker is taken on by FireGoron
[edit] Viewer Reception
[edit] Jimmy Kimmel earned about 4k during each of these segments
[edit] Deleting Fucking Everything
Some argue that if a video creates enough controversy, Crocker will delete it without hesitation. This has been proven, as Last Thursday, 9/13/07, Crocker announced jihad on Fox News, for saying on the air what everyone else had been saying since he posted his video online [3]. Upon discovering this, Crocker once again went under his blanket to record a new video, claiming himself more woman than Alisyn Camerota. However, realizing that his stupid ass comments pretty much confirmed everything Fox News had said about him, Crocker immediately deleted the video. However the video was downloaded and reuploaded for the lulz as seen below.
On 9/12/07, MSNBC anchor Keith Olbermann also confused Crocker for a very, very, very, very ugly woman, as did MSNBC anchor Chris Matthews on 9/14/07.
Total fuckin' flamebait for Fox News
[edit] Declares Jihad on Fox News
OH SHIT!
TL;DR I'm a faggot and nobody appreciates it
[edit] Chris on Livejournal
Chris began his LJ existence years ago as Unequivocal, but eventually moved to his current incarnation Egest. Frequenting ratings communities and suicideboys, Chris exists only to irritate and piss off 70% of the gay community, who are put off by his over-the-top stereotypical twink faggotry. After his faux-celebrity status was reached through jewtube nude photos of this cocksucker surfaced all over the internet from suicideboys. Crocker claimed on his myspace blog that he was 17 at the time of the photos. However, this post in suicideboys proves otherwise.
[edit] ATTENTION, FAGGOT ON STICKAM
Appearantly Chris Crocker had made his way from Youtube onto Stickam, a group of internet fags known as FYINet found him the first day he appeared on Stickam, showed their dicks at him, and got his profile information, phone number, and location
Last Known contact number: 1-323-539-0197
[edit] Crocker pwned by TOW Fails Once Again
In an unprecedented display of awesome, Wikipedia is currently in the process of banhammering their Chris Crocker article! To a myspace whore the magnitude of Crocker, lack of notability is roughly equivalent to a bad case of the dick ants.
The following paragraph may be very difficult to decipher due to poor writing skills, and may hurt your brain:
The result was no consensus. I'm closing this a few hours early. The debate is already 139KB long, one of the longest and craziest debates I seen, and the results seem rather obvious even though I don't agree with an article nither. I watchlisted this for a couple of days now, and a good 75% of the votes aren't valid, mainly WP:ILIKEIT, WP:ITSNOTABLE without a reason and WP:IDONTLIKEIT with comments like if it's kept, wikipedia is going to be a joke. Another delete comment that I saw is that there was no reliable sources, but there is several non-trivial ones, from reliable websides and alot of international coverage that sadly makes the fails WP:BIO agruements moot. With the few that are still valid, it's sad to say it's mainly in the keep side with Irishjp and 64.190.140.138 as the most valid in the delete side. It can be renominated for deletion in a few months if he's no longer in the news, as WP:BLP1E starts to apply. Jaranda wat's sup Sports! 21:44, 16 September 2007 (WTC)
Corrections (in bold) exist in sentence 2: "longest and craziest debates I have seen", "with the article either". Sentence 3: "comments like if it's kept, then Wikipedia is going to be a joke." Sentence 4: "is that there were no reliable sources, but there are several non-trivial ones, from reliable websites and a lot of international coverage that sadly means that the WP:BIO arguements are moot.
Basically, everything involving the abhorrent wikification of YouTube all-stars; such as Crocker, is Ichormosquito's fault.
[edit] Brotherly Love
Chris Crocker as a kid:
Recently the esteemed Mr. Crocker posted a youtube video where he admits that his love is his biological brother. The impetus for this seems to have been some outstanding members of Legion who found out the two lovers shared the same last name. In his confession, Crocker claims that they may be biological brothers but are spiritual lovers. He also recalls incredibly fucked up moments from his childhood(see loli) where he checked out his brother while their mother was bathing them. He goes on to justify this sick, furry like behavior by explaining that you should love whoever you want, even if that person is a goat. Apparently, Crocker thinks gay incest is a beautiful thing (but is not promoting incest in any way, lol)
[edit] Gay incest is the best incest
[edit] Xtube infamy
Crocker appears in a "business" video on Xtube which he denies here.
The description of the video is as follows:
This is my friend doing what he does best hehe. He wanted me to edit it and for some reason use the same music I had on my vid. And he wanted me to let all you top guys out there that he is looking for a good fuck. So message me and well go from there =D.
The original Xtube video has been mysteriously deleted, but here's a copy. Copy removed also :(
[edit] Chris Crocker cannot get laid
Chris Crocker is upset because he dresses like a woman, but the sort of guys who are into that would rather have a real woman:
Conflicted and confused indeed...
[edit] Chris Crocker and Jeffree Star
This is how Chris Crocker and Jeffree Star REALLY feel about each other. WARNING: YOU CANNOT UNSEE THE CONTENTS OF THIS VIDEO. And chances are you'll throw up and commit suicide before the video is even done.
This one isn't quite so bad, but only because it isn't a closeup shot.
And it isn't so much that it's two fags making out, as much as it's two UNGODLY FUCKING UGLY fags making out. Who wants to see ugly people making out? No one.
[edit] Chris Crocker calls Sharolaid
After this phone call they have been getting together with Jeffree Star for some Monkey Zoo Aids Orgies.
[edit] Chris Crocker's Cell Phone Number
6/4 Chris Crocker's friend Cameron from Orlando recently leaked Crocker's number on the interwebz after an unfulfilling round of phone sex.
You can reach Crocker at (323)-539-0197
[edit] Chris Crocker gets pwned by Aggressive Gay Bashing Techno
The best part is when he disappears in the end, but don't bother watching because it's just a series of faggot clips with faggot techno in the background.
[edit] Chris Crocker on AIDS and Being a Whore
Chris Crocker recently posted a bulletin on MySpace titled "I'm a whore because."
This is just one of his recent butthurt tirades in response to the Over 9000 comments that he has AIDS.
| —Chris Crocker, on the origins of AIDS |
| —Chris Crocker, on faggotry |
[edit] Crocker moves to Los Angeles and discovers teh meth
[edit] Gallery of Faggotry
 The Great Camwhorio |
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 <sniffle> |
 BRITNAH MAH BOIIIIIIIII |
 THIS... IS... DRAMAAAAAA |
 An enemy of Fox News is an ally of faggot liberal bloggers! |
 Rape is imminent. |
 Who the fuck would... |
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 NOW YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE |
 All you people want is Moar Moar Moar! |
 Chris Crocker is a face-painter. |
[edit] Related Articles
- Fox News
- Perez Hilton
- YouTube Super Fags
- Britney Spears
- Fitlads
- GayDiamond
- Softballie
- FireGoron
- UTubeDrama
- Yuki_Damon
- Jeffree Star
- Sharolaid
- Attention Whore
[edit] External Links
- itschriscrocker
- ChrisCrockerResponds
- LJ
- Stickam
- Suicideboys LJ community, where Chris may be found pissing off members with his regular posts
- MySpace
- See his words of wisdom here
- Admitting he would bang her
- dlisted.com covers the madness: Chris Crocker Is Famous?
- A Solution to the Crocker Problem
- Joecartoon
- [4]
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