Jakob Lodwick
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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[edit] Jakob Lodwick
Jakob Lodwick was born in Baltimore to a crack whore and a heroin addict who sold sex for money. Jakob has a brother Eric Lodwick who went to Rhode Island for college and has an even more homosexual bonestructure to his face. Honestly how these two made it through life without aids is beyond me. Jakob is also known as the founder of Vimeo and the web master of College Humor, the worst site on the internet. Jakob has failed at life over and over again simple because of his arrogant fuck face personality. He is a class VII hipster with obnoxious glasses and considers himself to be amongst the elite when it comes to technology. He is an avid Apple Fanboy and does not actually posses any technical or programming knowledge so he makes up for his technology insecurities by blogging about technology and Apple products.
Jakob considers himself to be so important as to be an internet celebrity. Jakob's only claim to fame is being asked to be the web designer for College Humor by it's actual founders. Judging by the condition of the site today it is clear Jakob's web design skills are that of a 13 year old boy on myspace. Jakob wishes he got a proper computer science education and can't program in BASIC although I'm sure he made glorious hypercard games on his Apple as a kid. Jakob is currently enrolled in Computer Science 3 at the University of Pheonix Online.
[edit] Relationships
Jakob has had many on again off again relationships with men and women. Most recently he was dumped by his ex-girlfriend Julia Allison. Jakob fucked up his relationship when he was fired from the company he helped create because he was always high and sat around doing nothing all day. Jakob was an abusive boyfriend who would repeatedly hit Julia who makes routine appearences on TV. In Julia's blog she has stated how abusive he is but took down the post when Jakob threatened to kill her dog.
[edit] As a blogger
Jakob Lodwick has a blog where he routinely rants about hipster issues such as art and music. Jake fancies himself a visionary when in fact hes just high on some drug or his own ego or both. Jakob also thinks hes a photographer posting horrible pictures on Flickr.
[edit] Drug habits
Jakob Lodwick is an ferocious user of drugs. He has been known to use heroin, cocaine and pot. Jakob was fired from the company he created because he became so involved in drugs that his freinds and co-workers complained to their boss about him. Eventually her was fired which also cost him his girlfriend and credability. Jakob is now living in his friend Reggie's appartment while he creates a new scheme to get rich quick after blowing his money he made off the sale of College Humor on drugs.
Hopefully no one ever hires this drug addict to any company. It is a well known fact that Jakob's friends humor him into thinking he is popular. Jakob's current project is a web site (thats all he knows how to make) that he will try to get venture capital for to spend all the money on more drugs.
Like all hipsters, Jakob Lodwick insists that he is on the cutting edge of "cool". When in reality he manifests his insecurities onto his blog.
[edit] Life Accomplishments
Lib Dubbing
Jakob claimed to invent "Lib Dubbing". A video where you sing a song but later overlay the original song over the actors who are singing it. He claimed to invent this passing it off as a new trend that he created, a new era a new event in web2.0 that would cement him in as an internet celebrity. However after several of his hipster friends jumped on his bandwagon, it was revealed that he was not in fact the first person to film themselves singing to a song with the original song dubbed in. As a matter of fact, he admitted he wasn't as clever as he thought he was as there were several instances of prior art of "lib dubbing". Because the prior art didn't have some trendy faggot name, he didn't know about it. Alas his claim to fame for yet another "internet trend" was erased from internet history.
Web Design
Jakob considers web design to be the equivilent of being the pope in christianity. They are actually equally as pointless. Jakob has been the web designer of shitty sites and blogs that only other hipsters such as himself actually appreciate.
Riding coat tails
Pretty much all of Jakob's life accomplishments have been derived from someone elses success that he latches on to and feeds off of. He has actually never accomplished anything meaningful himself.
[edit] Related Articles
[edit] External Links
- Jakob Lodwick's blog (this one is for the google scoring :)
