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JarlaxleArtemis

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Note: this is an article about an Encyclopedia Dramatica user. For more information, please see the appropriate user page. To leave this user a message, please visit User_Talk:JarlaxleArtemis.

 
“ 		 
Isn't it ironic that JA/G went to ED to rag on Wikipedia, and then managed to piss off everyone over there? You'd think that eventually he'd realize the problem is him, not the administrators of every website he ever visits.
  		„
 

—NawlinWiki (talk) 12:20, 26 March 2009 (UTC)

Please note: this pic is not actually him, and his father is not actually Chris Hansen.
Please note: this pic is not actually him, and his father is not actually Chris Hansen.
Jeremy's mother, an "elder shaman-in-training", finding out about her son's online activities
Jeremy's mother, an "elder shaman-in-training", finding out about her son's online activities
zOMG TRUE!!1!!!!0x01!!
zOMG TRUE!!1!!!!0x01!!

Once known as one of the coolest vandals since Willy on Wheels, Grawp has since turned into one of the biggest lolcows since Sceptre. As Grawp, he doesn't want you to know that he was also known as JarlaxleArtemis✡. Why? According to Wikipedos, it's because Grawp originally had an account in which he made many productive edits to Wikipedia. JarlaxleArtemis is currently an administrator on the InfoAnarchy wiki.

Contents

Contributions to Wikipedia and ED

Jarl's notable contributions in order from newest to oldest:


For reasons that are unclear, [1] [2] [3], he got into a fight with the bureaucratic fucks of Wikipedia. This resulted in his lulzy revenge campaign against Linuxbeak, in which he vandalized nonstop while impersonating Linuxbeak. [4] [5] Blu Aardvark once got in a fight with some administrators and initially went on a much smaller vandalism campaign anyway (not the large one later) and he was never allowed back. But Jarl, after just a couple of months, was welcomed back into the fold. Why? Because he's one of The Wikipedia Jews.

While using good-hand accounts, he snuck back with bad-hand accounts and eventually got banned. Normally he'd melt into the crowd, but he was notable because his long term abuse page was packed full of his dox: his first, last and middle names, his high school, birth date, parents' names, social security number and even more personal information on its subject than Chris-chan's biography.[6] Wikipedos ignored his attempts to get rid of it, but they later deleted it because Wikipedia Review spotted it and then Daniel Brandt used it to justify his compilations of dox on all the administrators he didn't like.

Jarl then came to ED, but did not fit in because he is a Jew.

JarlaxleArtemis (left) with his gentile pal enemy ByAppointmentTo (right) in thirty-five years' time. NawlinWiki, not shown, is still getting trolled.
JarlaxleArtemis (left) with his gentile pal enemy ByAppointmentTo (right) in thirty-five years' time. NawlinWiki, not shown, is still getting trolled.

He then seemingly left TOW, ED, etc. Everyone thought he left to play more Forgotten Realms and spend his Jew gold to buy a boyfriend-free girl via Russian mail-order. Instead, he was now Grawp.

A year and a half later, a terribly obvious impostor called "Mister Jarlaxle" vandalized two people's userpages and suddenly Krimpet restored the page at the request of a Wikipedian called Blueboy96. Blueboy96 is a lovely admin who, when ByAppointmentTo complained on TOW about Alison spreading the Grawp-dox on ED, locked the talk page. Who was the impostor? NawlinWiki and some others were the first to discover that JarlaxleArtemis and Grawp were the same person, so someone in the know wanted to trick them to get the page back. It was baleeted yet again by Krimpet, then arch-enemy Alison would ensure that it stayed dead...for now.

What have we learned from the revelation that Grawp is secretly JarlaxleArtemis?

  1. Never trust a Jew; see the gallery above.
  2. Michael Jackson is a pedophile who masturbated with children.
  3. Michael Jackson's tears can cure cancer when they come from his eyes. Unfortunately, due to excessive plastic surgery, they always come through his nose.
  4. Michael Jackson is so strange and so freakish that not depicting him as a freak is biased.
  5. Michael Jackson is fucking dead.

How do you solve a problem like Jeremy?

The Party Van? Alison believes that Jeremy is clearly asking for it.
The Party Van? Alison believes that Jeremy is clearly asking for it.
The Allie-van is gonna get JA!
The Allie-van is gonna get JA!

Whilst it is agreed that JarlaxleArtemis's trolling of the Wikipedos has been a source of epic lulz for at least the past year or more, the userbases of both Wikipedia and Encyclopedia Dramatica have come to believe that he is just taking things too far, now. Not content with his pagemove vandalism, he also feels the need to make death threats towards Wikipedia admins by mobilising /b/ as his personal army to leave threats on Wikipedia sysops' user talk pages. Examples of these include the following:

  • "I am going to saw off your head with a pocket knife. Then I will light your corpse afire and feed it to my dogs. After that, I will murder your entire family." [7]
  • "I am going to rip off your tiny balls; then, I will decapitate you, you gay French faggot." [8]
  • "I will have your heart fed to dogs and shat out for my amusement. I will then have your obsequious brain torn from your foul head so that I can use your empty skull as a piss pot." [9]
  • "Hey, bitch, I know where you work and live. Let's just say you should keep a close eye on your children. I am going to rape your children and mutilate their dead bodies." [10][11]
  • "Hey, [name removed], age [age removed], of [company name removed] on [address removed], you animal fucker, I am going to slay you. You are a censorship scum. All Wikipedia administrators should have their identities exposed. You are a piece of shit who doesn't deserve to live. In fact, you deserve worse than death. I will have you horribly tortured before I finally kill you. How does stripping off your skin square inch by square inch sound?" [12]

Now that the Abuse filter has been installed, he has dropped the Grawp persona and has taken to abusing the dox of both ED and TOW users, and making threats of violence as well as accusing these people of being child molesters and suchlike. He does this by creating large numbers of attack usernames in multiple user accounts all at once.

On the Wikipedia Review, it was recently concluded that he suffers from a mental condition known as antisocial personality disorder. After all, he has a problem with authority figures, doesn't succeed in interpersonal relationships, becomes aggressive towards everyone and everything that opposes him, believes that he is a God-King of the Internet and cannot understand the difference between right and wrong.

He has also claimed to own a gun and not to be afraid of using it. Could he be the next Cho Seung-Hui? Only time will tell...

 
“ 		 
08:24, 16 April 2008 Wælgæst wæfre (talk contribs) moved Seung-Hui Cho to GRAWP THINK HE DID IT FOR THE LULZ! ‎ (for great justice and epic lulz; also, go to http://blocked.on.nimp.org [a must-see])
  		„
 

—Grawp aka JarlaxleArtemis

If nothing is done to stop him, news headlines may soon read, "Harry Potter killer commits biggest civilian massacre in US history."

Krimpet's View

I'M KRIMPET
SON OF A BITCH JARLAXLE
YOU WANT PAGE-MOVE?
YOU WANT DOX?
WARM STICKY CUM-FOUNTAIN IS PIG-DISGUSTING
LIORA LEAH IS MURDERER

Haiku by Jeremy 

towering up above
pine trees standing solemnly
in big, silent woods

howling mournfully
wind whistling and whirling by
monsoon is coming

peacefully swaying
golden grass with wisps of green
calmness in meadow

eagle in the sky
elegance flying up high
graceful, fierce, peaceful

stars twinkling at night
pinpricks of light in dark sky
silent, heavenly

External links

Stuff by him

Stuff about him



JarlaxleArtemis
is part of a series on
Jews

Patriarchs
Woody Allen • Sacha Baron Cohen • Albert Einstein • Rahm Emanuel • Jeff Goldblum • Todd Goldman • JarlaxleArtemis • Ron Jeremy • Roman Polanski • Jesus • Andy Kaufman • Henry Kissinger • Joe Lieberman • Linda Mack • Bernie Madoff • Moses • Roman Polanski • Natalie Portman • Maury Povich • Ayn Rand • Michael Richards • Michael Savage • Debbie Schlussel • Jerry Seinfeld • Jerry Springer • Ben Stein • Howard Stern • Jon Stewart • Mark Zuckerberg • Adam L. Goldstein

Habitats
Hollywood • Internet • Isræl • The media • Wikipedia

Traditions
Circumcision • GIYUS • Gaza War • Greed • Hebrew • Holocaust Porn • Metzizah b’peh • Money • Protocols of the Elders of Zion • WTC

H8s
Anti-Semitism • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Arabs • Yassir Arafat • Billy the Heretic • Blood libel • Christfags • Mel Gibson • Adolf Hitler • Holocaust • Holocaust denial • Saddam Hussein • Jesus • Jew Watch • The KKK • Osama Bin Laden • Wyatt Mann • Muhammad • Muslims • Nazis • Pork • Weev




JarlaxleArtemis is part of a series on  
Wikipedia       
Visit the Wikipedia Portal for complete coverage.   

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