Jasmine Richardson
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| —Jasmine Richardson, who gets free HBO in prison |
| —Jeremy Steinke, preparing for the next full moon |
Jasmine Richardson is a 13 year old girl who knifed her family in the name of the Worldwide Furry Conspiracy. At 13, she is the youngest killer in Canuckistan and was a regular user of the super cereal emo-gangbang known as Vampirefreaks. Besides being a Goff and getting stuck in the hole for a decade, she is also the hottest piece of JB to commit murder EVAR. Rumors indicate that Sean Suhl has already prepared for Jasmine a $9000 a month contract with Suicide Girls to be their head pinup, right beside Nazi superwoman RAPE BLOSSOM. She has declined to comment upon whether or not she will take Pimpmaster Sean up on this offer.
The murders occurred in a nowhere Canucki town named after a combination of drugs and headwear.
Contents |
[edit] The History
Jasmine Richardson and Jeremy Steinke met at a furry summer camp in Ontario, while her parents thought she was making friendship bracelets at outdoor school. She became entranced with the 23-year-old furfag and otherkin Jeremy when she learned that he was actually 300 years old and his soul was one with the wolf. They consummated their love for one another in secret and only met over the internets or anonymously to cosplay The Jungle Book. Eventually, her parents found out and forbade her from meeting with Jeremy. It was then that they decided to take their relationship to the next level.
Jasmine's personal internets were all taken down last Thursday by the Internet Police, leaving little to no documentation of her e-sona prior to the incident. An individual calling themselves her "best friend" has declared her Zorpia account closed due to "rude comments."
[edit] The Murders
Using Jeremy's werewolf stealth powers, the two of them crept into her house on a Sunday morning and pwnt her entire family. Jeremy viciously mauled and raped her mother, father and brother with his teeth, drinking deep of their blood and refilling his neck vial after he was finished in order to keep up his IRL goff fursona. Neighbors heard his mighty yiffing and ran to investigate. The two had stolen away to their hugbox in the woods, a redneck cabin where they would read and discuss Harry Potter together on weekends. The two were quickly apprehended, being too pussy to put up a fight.
[edit] The Aftermath
The judge sentenced Jasmine for 1st degree IRL permabannage to the fullest extent of the lol for a minor, which means 10 solid years of Pruno and hairy-lipped cunnilingus from Tori Sue Heck's extended family. It is unknown whether or not the fursuits will be considered contraband or allowed for conjugal visits.
[edit] Trivia and Conjecture
- Over 9000 Jews were absent from Israel when Jasmine did the deed. Mossad conspiracy? You decide.
- Jasmine's name was Jasmine, while the werewolf's name was Jeremy. They both start with J! Coincidence? You decide.
- Charlie ManSON - Jasmine RichardSON - Jeremy is some guy's SON. Coincidence? You decide.
- Jasmine's nexopia account ended the same day she killed her family. Coincidence? You decide.
- Jasmine listened to Marilyn Manson, and was therefore obviously a ticking time bomb.
- She has not yet become an hero, although those of us with money riding on it have our fingers crossed.
[edit] See Also
