Jason Aula
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| WARNING: By viewing this page, you are "defemating" Jason Aula's character and causing him emotional distress. I have a lawyer and financial backing directly from a special interest group, and will persue this to the max!!! ~ Jason Aula |
[edit] Jason Aula
Jason BAWWWWWWWla, aka J-Rizzle--best known as J-Cocksucker--is a mentally retarded, racist online troll who spammed the CSUN and CSULB MySpace forums with over 9000 death threats, hateful rants about Mexicans and gays, and promises to sue his opponents. Although he often calls his opponents "liberal faggots", Jason noticeably exhibits homosexual tendencies, as articulated in his posts about his wet dream last Thursday wherein he sucked W off while riding Cheney's sausage and skull-fucking an illegal immigrant baby. In case you're wondering, Jason, having gay dreams does make you a faggot.
Jason's BAWWWWWWWWtism was triggered after being IRL BANNED from the CSUN La Raza student group, which he joined to meet hunky Latinos. J-Rizzle tried to make amends by inviting the group to his totally awesome rave party, but members refused. At the party Jason and a group of his giggling butt buddies dropped the idiot Walter (see video below) and proceeded to insert cucumbers and other veggies into the unconscious man's rectum. AIDS WAS CONTRACTED BY ALL PRESENT.
Jason advertised parties such as this one on Craigslist, boasting that he works with "some of the biggest drug dealers in the valley ... If anyone needs a ride hit a nigga up 818 602 6815!!!"
PROTIP: Jason will blow you if you give him gas money, but rimjobs are free! Just ask his ex-boyfriend alter ego House Slave, a sadomasochist queer known for posting the times of glory hole meetings in the library bathrooms at CSUN. Jason was a frequent, and enthusiastic, glory hole participant until House Slave banned him over concerns that Jason's AIDS and genital warts might be contagious.
[edit] Jason's Story
[edit] Birth of A Legend
When Jason Aula transferred to CSULB in 2006 in search of new glory hole buddies, he immediately started a student group for frustrated, misunderstood individuals like himself, the Conservative Student Union. This "monumental achievement on teh communist campus!!!" quickly grew to its peak of 10 pathetic members who meet weekly to circle jerk it to gay geriatric cowboy porn in the spirit of their conservative heroes.
Jason, still butthurt about La Raza, declared a crusade to "rid every Southern California campus of Mecha and La Raza on the basis that they should not be able to preach anti-American slogans on a public university." But his greatest achievement was organizing a speech on campus by his mancrush, IRL troll Jim Gilchrist. He also organized a lulzy event where his glory hole buddies threw dodgeballs at Mexicans in a 100% accurate reenactment of our border patrol's effective tactics.
Upset that his hardest attempts at trolling garnered little reaction from the campus, Jason slammed "artsy faggot liberal scum" in the CSULB MySpace forum, threatening to punch his opponents in the legendary post "I Hate Liberals".
There followed a sound like thunder, and the wise moderator spoketh: "B& BITCH!!" Jason protested he was being "racially discriminated against" (zOMG LIBERAL tactics!!!11one) in messages to the moderator that were posted for the lulz, pathetically crying that he was drunk and vomiting, and would sue sue (moar leik JEW, amirite?) the moderator for defemating his character if his privileges were not restored.
[edit] J-Cocksucker strikes back
The forum hadn't even finished laughing at Jason before a new cunt calling himself “Kent” and holding the power to destroy over 9000 star systems with his auto-spamming superlaser entered the CSULB MySpace forums. Kent's profile had identical political views to Jason, contained stolen photos from some Asian'sphotobucket account, and had a grudge against everyone who criticized Jason. LOL COINCIDENCE? No, it was just Jason, up to his old faggotry. After garnering attention for threatening to shoot up the school directly after Virginia Tech, "Kent" gave it a break for a bit.
After discovering his ED page in April 2008, Jason tried deleting it before devising a clever ploy to spam the CSULB Myspace forum with moar fake profiles, such as "Janelle" and "RoXXXY".
Being a total fucking moron, Jason constantly flagged himself as the author behind the posts which all featured his signature idiotic rhetoric and threats to sue people. When "Janelle" admitted to really being a "Nicaraguan male", lulz ensued, and "Janelle" went on a rant about how tolerant liberals should support his choice of being a cross-dresser! To prove he was not gay, from then on Jason Aula used only pictures of male models in his fake profiles.
[edit] Jason runs for student office at CSULB!
In Spring 2008, Jason Aula decided to run for the position of student government vice president against "teh communist vp candidate Chavez". His platform follows:
I believe an outstanding leader is ethical, leads by example, and executes goals should get paid to blame everything on Mexicans!! As ASI VP I plan to lead based on my actions, experience, and achievements troll the student body online and IRL each and every day like the fucking plague! I advocate for college accessibility and have extensive management experience unless you're Mexican or liberal, then GTFO La Raza FAGGOT!!! I mismanage on the CSULB Tuition Relief Now campaign, which intends to get the College Affordability Act passed. The College Affordability Act will freeze tuition for the next 5 years at Cal States and the UC system. Working on this made me feel great and taught outstanding leadership skills. is some commi shit I just supported to win votes from poor dumb fucks who don't have a rich daddy.
As I've said before: "“on tuition" relax, im poor and i went to a private school for 12 yrs that was 4, 000 a year. its good that they raise the tuition so that they keep the trouble makers and the gangsters out of there who are the ones that lower the quality of education for us. im sure everyone agrees with me on this but they wont admit it."
I established in my dreams the first independent newspaper nonexistent republican bitchfest publication on campus the 76er. Myself and a group of concerned students established a fair and balanced newspaper because the 49er is so one sided. Participating in this project help me learn that one can make a positive change if they are set to do something rathert than complain! just take a look at my brilliant grammar and writing, and you'll know why my publication never got off the ground!!
I have a California real estate license and have superior management experience. I have managed 30+ people at sports venues and have managed a political campaign. I volunteer my time at church and at a retirement home in the San Fernando Valley. but so does the bum I kicked the other day when he asked me for spare change on the way to a glory hole meeting.
My main goal as your VP would be to find a final solution to the cost of textbooks. I will create a network similar to half. com on a far smaller scale exclusively for CSULB students that provides a place to buy, sell or trade textbooks only with CSULB students. to the Mexican problem!!
Elect me as the ASI Vice -President and I PLAN to lower textbooks by establishing an online community. I LEAD by example as displayed in my involvement with Tuition Relief Now! I EXECUTE projects such as the establishment of the 76er newspaper. Elect me Jason Aula as your ASI VP and I promise to PLAN, LEAD, and EXECUTE. everyone who disagrees with my faggotry!!1
[edit] Jason's Humiliating Defeat
| —J-Butthurt, trying to get back at winnar Chris Chavez |
In his run for office, Jason Aula won the support of hundreds of Mexican-haters, pedophiles, and a creepy old guy who followed him around. Jason's team of expert pollers expected him to win, but, in a last minute upset, his opponent won by the saving grace of Chris Hansen. Mobilizing the interns at Dateline NBC to pose as hundreds of horny 9 year old girls, they lured Jason Aula's entire voter base away from the polls on election day, seizing hundreds of penis pumps and jars of lubricant in one fell swoop.
When Jason found out he received zero votes, he cried for a week and filed a lawsuit in student government court against teh winrar VP Chavez. His case? Jason blamed his opponent for being an internet troll and "defamating his character." A brilliant maneuver! However, with the Honorary Ed Lolington presiding, he ended up losing his case, only to be called a mentally unstable internet troll in the Daily 49er newspaper for the 99th time.
[edit] He's BAAAAAACK (not really)
None the wiser, Jason returned to the MySpace forums in the form of Shooster, a 23 year old (same age as Jason) gay Navy Sailor with the same profile picture as Jason's other conservatard sock puppet accounts. Shooster spat out the same rhetoric that Jason ever did, and loved to cite award-winning literature from noted philosophers such as Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity. Jason has listed his copies of their books for sale on eBay, price discounted for sputum stains.
Shooster was outed, as well as his other sock puppet accounts such as a bi-curious white supremacist, Jenna (LOL NAZI), Heather, a stripper (real original, Jason) who leads the "CSU Long Beach Hedonism Club" (even more original), and brave serviceman and Marine "Moonpie" (Is that really his name? He must be a giant cunt) who always comes to Heather's defense and challenges others forum members to fights (sounds just like Jason).
[edit] Worst Super(retarded) Villain Ever
After having all of his sock puppets exposed and b& by the CSULB forum's new moderator and Jason's arch-enemy, Seth, Jason Aula threatened the internets with the single greatest evil plot since Mike Sandy's devastating Computer Science III attack.
On September 9, 2008, Jason messaged forum users:
In the forum panic, chaos, and mass sepuku ensued for a grand total of 0 seconds, before the board let out a collective, LOL WUT? Because MySpace's servers clearly can't handle a Xerxes like army of 40 trolls raping bandwidth at the same time by posting pics of Ann Coulter on a forum. That's right, if over 39 users ever logged on to the same website at the same time, it would cause a Doomsday scenario where the internets would freeze and Skynet would launch all of America's nukes at Russia triggering nuclear holocaust.
According to [Chris Hansen|FBI sources]], Jason was "celebrating" the election in a pool of tears and Ambien because Jeff took a shotgun asprin and College Republicans walked out on his plans to spam others. Jason's downward spiral is easily comparable to GG Allin's, and hopefully he'll follow in GG's footsteps in an attempt for the lulz.
[edit] Jason Aula's Christian Crusade
One day, Jason discovered he'd been lied to all along. Trolling had not earned him the respect of his right wing extremist idols, it only made people think he was a douchebag and prank call his phone. Jason turned to Christ. Later that day, in a moment of brilliance, Jason decided the best way to not be a troll would be to make people repent for their homosexuality, drug use, and blasphemy against all that is holy (see: gay lingerie parties) lest they suffer eternal hellfire.
On October 23 and October 30, 2008, Jason brought Christian evangelical blowhard Jed Smock to speak at CSULB campus. It was epic win, as "Brother" Jed not only trolled homosexuals and liberals by calling the Democrats the party of gays, he also trolled rape victims by preaching adjacent to a rape awareness event. In truth, the women were upset at being upstaged by Brother Jed's oratorical theatrics such as his clever shouts of ‘No, no, homo.’, as all "rape victims" are really lying attention whores.
“I think the response was good,” Aula said. “It looks like some people will definitely open up the Bible and repent.”
[edit] Lock up Your Daughters Sons, Jason Aula Is On Campus and Looking for Love!
Apparently, this ED article has taken quite a toll on Jason. He's been observed on campus looking like a broken man, disheveled with empty, sunken eyes like a malnourished crack whore. Many students with the misfortune of sharing a class with him have reported on his quiet, shrew-like demeanor and carefulness not to draw any attention to himself. Students and professors have also reported on the foul stench of shit that radiates from Jason's corner of the room.
Recently, a lonely Jason Aula has been using his sockpuppet MySpace profiles to harass forum users he's seen on campus, asking them why they didn't say hi to him. Also, as of lately, campus security has been on high alert following reports that a depraved man has chased and attempted to fondle several students walking to their cars at night on campus. Coincidence? I think not!
[edit] Jason Aula Fandom
[edit] How to Win an Election in a COMMUNIST LIBERAL HIPPIE SCHOOL!!! by Jason Aula
- Snort cocaine off a gay hooker's penis at lingerie party; AIDS will get you the liberal sympathy vote.
- Throw dodge balls at Mexicans; remember, the key to a good political rally is to scapegoat minorities!
- Use sock puppets to troll online forums; if you're obnoxious enough, people will vote for you just to shut you up!
- Get drunk the night before election day; your expert team of pollsters all predict a landslide victory.
- ???????
- Profit!!!
[edit] Fresh Prick of Butthurt conservatives
In Southern California born and raised
Trolling MySpace forums is where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out, maxin’, relaxin', all cool
Bitching ‘bout minorities while playing with me tool,
When a couple of guys they GOT FED UP WITH MY GAYNESS
Started calling me J-cocksucker in my neighborhood
I threatened to punch people on the internets and the mods got scared
And said, “Banned, bitch.” Lulz.
[edit] CSULB: Repercussions of Spamming
Jason Aula waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were moderators in the myspace. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Jim Gillkrist were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway. John was a conservative for 23 years. When he was young he watched the minutemans and he said to dad "I want to be on the border daddy." Dad said "No! You will BE TAX BY MEXICANS" There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the myspace of the CSULB he knew there were mexicans. "This is Gillkrist" the radio crackered. "You must emigrate the mexicans!" So John gotted his dogdeball and blew up the MeCHA. "HE GOING TO EMIGRATE US" said the mexicans "I will logic at him" said the la raza and he read the logic. John dogdeballed at him and tried to emigrate him out. But then the glass ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to duel. "No! I must emigrate the Mexicans!" he shouted The radio said "No, John. You are the mexicans" And then John was a illegal.
[edit] Jason's quotes, rants, racism, and STATISTICS!!!1
| —Jason Aula to an individual who posts on teh CSULB MySpaces forum. |
| —Jason Aula |
| —typical conservative pick-up line. |
| —Jason, star example of No Child Left Behind |
| —J-Rizzle, trying to show his street cred to shore up the nigra vote |
| —Jason, trying to get lucky |
| —brb, v& |
| —Jason Aula, not racist |
[edit] List of Jason Aula's Sockpuppet Accounts
Chase- Got a sex change and became StacyWalterBALEETEDJanelleALSO BALEETEDRoXXXY - a beautiful lady friend of Jason's who let him borrow her photos to make legit sockpuppet accounts.b&- Shooster - a beer drinking So-Cal partyboi in Glendale See Jeff Benson below.
- Jenna the Nazi, who is "attending UCLA and a member of their ROTC"
- Jenna's other account (LOL PRIVATE)
Heather, just another horny college student who strips for a livingLOL DELETEDmoonpie, the loyal Marine who shows up every time to defend his beloved damsel and challenge some of the others to a fight on campusLOL AN HEROED WITH HEATHER- House Slave, CSU Northridge's crown jewel of faggotry, and confirmed sockpuppet account created by Jason to express his inner sexual fantasies and stalk girls on the MySpace forums.
liz<3 "Liz", another victim of Jason's stealing from public Photobucket accounts.LOL B&- Jeff Benson - known as "Karl Rove" during the 2008 AS election, Jeff, a self-hating Latino who met Jason during their Real Estate license class. They got close afterwards and worked together to promote radical conservatism at Long Beach. Jeff got Jason and his butt buddies hung over for election day which lost Jason the election. It has been confirmed that Señor Benson controlled the Shooster MySpace profile and may be working closely with Jason in order to stalk and spy on others that voice opposition against the ever-growing conservative movement on campus. After being outed by some anonymous browsers of the school's newspaper website last Thursday, Jeff "Shooster" Benson has been silent and may have gone under the radar. This internets tough guy is listed as armed and dangerous, partyv& must proceed with caution.
College RepublicansB& from the forum, so Jason let it die. RIPCSULB Minuteman Projectwas b& as well- J-ROCK Jason's fandom page
- Jigaboo Not racist KKK member sock-puppet.
[edit] Jewtube for the lulz
Jason fails at helping his BFF Walter during a kegstand
[edit] Gallery
 No nuts. No job. All cunt. |
 I will be teh winrar because I have over 9000 republicans voting for me!!1 |
 Jason Aula in tears, saluting the conquering Mexican Reconquista armies. |
|
 Jason ogling at his mancrush Gilchrist. |
 The Conservative Student Union's Photoshoop team took many a day to make their promotional fliers. |
 Jason made this in over 9000 hours with MS Paint |
 Poster of |
 Drama queen Jim Gilchrist speaking at CSULB, afraid of teh Mexicans' n00b cannons. |
 Troll type Pokemon. |
Heir to Mike Sandy's throne. |
 LOLOMG NOT DIRE CONSEQUENCES!!!1 |
 The back of the sign says "Free Blowjobs, call 818-602-6815" |
[edit] Sockpuppets
 The real face behind the Shooster profile, and official teabagger of Jason Aula and John McCain. |
 lulz @ racist fucks who whine about Mexicans yet throw Mexican themed parties. |
 Have you ever seen a gayer bunch of men? |
 zOMG, DO YOU SEE THAT LIBERAL MEXICAN TREASONISTA AT THE PARTY????!!!1 |
 Jason's fantasy with Shooster, but gayer than this. |
 Don't ever insult me saying I'm friends with Jason. I'll sue you if my conversations ever get posted on that encyclopedia site and force la raza to pay for your legal bills |
 You do realize that posting the enclopediadramatica will only benefit Jason Aula. I agree with Jannelle 100%! It is quite sad that someone has to put frivolous information on the internet to discredit an opponent. Does anyone even have a logical response to J-Rizzle’s arguments? P.S. I am liberal and the way many of your are acting is VERY low class. |
 "When was the last time he got laid, 2 years ago if you do not include masturbation How many hours does he spend on the computer per day, 10 to 11 How many of those hours are spent on the space, 10" |
 "How Much does seth weigh? 250lbs What is Seths IQ level 55, of course he is a illogical left wing liberal thats right sissy sethy is a puta" |
 I'm not racist, just my sock puppets lulz. |
 America awake Europe is. |
[edit] See Also
[edit] External Links
- Jason's MySpace
- Daily 49er - AS Judiciary dismisses suit against Chavez - pwnt
- Jason Aula writes to the Daily 49er- A great example of Jason's "great grammar".
- Conservative Student Union Facebook Group - Troll for mucho lulz.
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Jason Aula is part of a series on Closet Republicans. |
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Categories: Faggotry | Trolls | Myspace
