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Jenkem

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Pickwick: "Where did you learn that son!!!"
Pickwick Jr: "From you, dad! I learned it from watching you!"

“	I became probably the first person in America to huff his own shit gas.	„
—pickwick

This picture got round the world: Pickwick's famous balloon. He's the one and only known person whoever used a ballon. Show or improvement in synthesizing?

Jenkem, known by Fox News as "butt hash", is an old meme turned fresh thanks to a sheriff's bulletin plagiarizing this very article.

Jenkem, invented by Pickwick of Totse, is a drug popular with nigras and american middle schoolers. The increasing popularity of the drug is shocking in America, where far more desirable substances are available at far lower a cost (at least mentally). This increase has been partly attributed to the success of Chocolate Rain, whose lyrics explicitly refer to the practice and social effects of jenkem abuse.

[edit] Synthesizing Jenkem

Can't say that we do

Supplies needed:

-One way ticket to Zambia.
-Tattoo that makes your complete skin look black.
-At least 6 months of time. Excrements.
-2 girls
-1 cup (waterproof container, such as a jar or soda bottle).

Step 1: Move to Zambia and live there at least 3 months in a slum.

Step 2: Find the most fermented patch of fecal matter in the vicinity and scoop it out with your container.

Step 3: Inhale until you forget you live in Africa and you start to hear your dead grandmother talking to you.

Step 4: PROFIT: If you want to make Profit you are too late. The Zambian Niggaz licensed Jenkem™ and sell the essence of their exkrements as Original Zambian Butt-Shit-Gas Jenkem™ all around the world. They know that a niggaz ass and lifelong consumption of Jenkem ist nessecary to make Jenkem™ such a powerful drug that rivals cocaine and heroine.

[edit] Commercial Terms for Jenkem™

Original Zambian Butt-Shit-Gas Jenkem™ November 2007 - The only first and only real historic Jenkem™ made of the excrements of poor Zambians before commercialization. Best and unique. Sold out. Maybe available at Sothebys from time to time. The December 2007 Butt-Shit-Gas is currently available for sale. Ask your country's embassy in Zambia for how to obtain a sample.
Sub-Saharan Butt-Hash™ Jenkem from other sub Saharan countries. Cheaper than the original Jenkem™. Slightly different in taste and quality.

[edit] Slang Terms for Jenkem

HUFF JENK

Photograph of a boy soldier recently killed in the Sub-Saharan Conflict over Jenkem™ production and export rights.

How to make da niggaz shit? Killing is not an option.

“	I never inhaled any poop gas and got high off it," he wrote on Sept. 24. "I have deleted the pictures, hopefully no weirdo saved them to his computer. I just don't want people to ever recognize me as the kid who huffed poop gas.	„
—Pickwick, the kid who huffed poop gas

Winnie
Mighty Joe Young
Mudkipz
Shit
Butt-Hash
Runners
Brown Dragon
Waste
Fruit from the Crack Pipe
The Jenk
Devil's Chocolate
Leroy Jenkems
Goatsejuice
Huffing the Cosbys
Butt-Shit-Gas
Sambian Gold
Sambian Oil
The Sambian Drug
Crack from Sambia
Sheriff Don Hunters Drug
Ass Candy

[edit] Jenkem Facts

Studies show Jenkem will keep you warm and make you fearless.[1]

An episode of South Park where kids huff cat piss was inspired by Jenkem, and Jenkem is mentioned in the end as a method for getting high. Gerald Broflovski describes Jenkem as fermented shit.

[edit] Totse Member tries Jenkem

The Sandwich Chef explains Jenkem

"I have deleted the pictures, hopefully no weirdo saved them to his computer."

This bulletin almost looks like half of it was plagarized off of ED...

Varlet, where be thy jenkeme now?

Not being satisfied with huffing Raid, this 14 year old totse member decided to get high on Jenkem, and posted pictures of the process (including him shitting in a bottle) in this lengthy thread:

The thread

Recently Pickwick now famous for waking and jenking got scared for his IRL reputation and claimed that he was totally playin' ya'lls! That wasn't poo that was flour, water, beer and Nutella!:

Last Thursday, A sheriff's report got leaked onto the internets with pictures from the totse thread with some terms lifted from this very page. This report (seen pictured right -->) spread through the media and was reported by many news outlets (see external links). As usual, Faux News did not refrain from covering it on their site, which led to a great outburst of lulz.

Hear that last bit? Fox actually thinks there's an outside chance that poopin' in a container and sniffing it could be considered illegal. Not that they want to control *everything* you think and do. Holy shit, they said fucking butthash on TV. That's awesome.

You're never too young for it!

Recently, anonymous has claimed that this sheriffs report was also inspired by a lengthy copypasta posted on /b/ at 09/17/07(Mon) at 11:41:37 AM, post No.39748743:

	Step 1. email this to a school principal. I am writing you anonymously because I do not want my child to get in any trouble, but I need to alert you to something your students are doing that is potentially very dangerous. Yesterday afternoon I came home early to find my son and his friends getting high on something called "jenkem" which they say they heard about at school. This "jenkem" is the most disgusting thing I've ever heard of. They urinate and defecate in plastic bottles and leave them to ferment in the sun, then inhale the resulting gas. I know it sounds unreal but when I came home I found my son and his friends laying on the grass in the backyard and they were acting very strangely. There was a horrible, putrid smell in the air. I can't believe my son would do something like this. I looked it up on the internet and apparently this was something invented by african children that wound up online and now kids all over the world are doing it. My son says most of his friends at school have tried it. This seems to be a new thing and I can't find any information about the health effects of jenkem - I think it is the methane and ammonia content that provides the desired high, but I don't really know. Both of those are very harmful chemicals. All sorts of diseases are spread through fecal matter. I imagine it could lead to some very serious health problems at your school. My wife and I are utterly shocked and talking about private school. We have spoken to our son about this and he says he won't do it anymore, but because it is on the internet kids all over the country are trying jenkem and they need to be educated about the health risks. It is only a matter of time before somebody dies from methane poisoning or this leads to a hepatitis outbreak. I don't know exactly what you could do about this as jenkem is legal but I needed to inform you of what some of your students are doing. Step 2. ??? Step 3. PROFIT pic unrelated

Step 1. email this to a school principal.

I am writing you anonymously because I do not want my child to get in any trouble, but I need to alert you to something your students are doing that is potentially very dangerous. Yesterday afternoon I came home early to find my son and his friends getting high on something called "jenkem" which they say they heard about at school. This "jenkem" is the most disgusting thing I've ever heard of. They urinate and defecate in plastic bottles and leave them to ferment in the sun, then inhale the resulting gas. I know it sounds unreal but when I came home I found my son and his friends laying on the grass in the backyard and they were acting very strangely. There was a horrible, putrid smell in the air. I can't believe my son would do something like this. I looked it up on the internet and apparently this was something invented by african children that wound up online and now kids all over the world are doing it. My son says most of his friends at school have tried it.

This seems to be a new thing and I can't find any information about the health effects of jenkem - I think it is the methane and ammonia content that provides the desired high, but I don't really know. Both of those are very harmful chemicals. All sorts of diseases are spread through fecal matter. I imagine it could lead to some very serious health problems at your school. My wife and I are utterly shocked and talking about private school. We have spoken to our son about this and he says he won't do it anymore, but because it is on the internet kids all over the country are trying jenkem and they need to be educated about the health risks. It is only a matter of time before somebody dies from methane poisoning or this leads to a hepatitis outbreak. I don't know exactly what you could do about this as jenkem is legal but I needed to inform you of what some of your students are doing.
Step 2. ???
Step 3. PROFIT

pic unrelated

[edit] A Trip report found on USENET

Chaunchybigfists jenkem tattoo dedicated to his favorite past time

So I was on Wikipedia the other day checking out the stuff on hallucinogens when I discovered a popular chemical in Africa called 'Jenkem.' After reading up on the Internet about some popular recipes, a few friends of mine decided to go and produce some of this potent hallucinogen. The first part of our journey involved a trip to the local sewage treatment plant, where we filled some empty coke bottles half-full with the potent sludge we found in the cleaning tanks.

We hid the bottles behind a bush, letting them ferment for a few hours while we went to smoke some marijuana. After about 4 hours of fermentation, we went to retrieve our putrid creations.

One at a time, we all inhaled the jenkem we had created. The odor was viscious, but my god it was worth it. What came after I cannot describe. A euphoric high, not unlike coccaine, but with strong hallucinations of times past -- I saw dead relatives during my trip. It was almost magical.

The onset of jenkem is probably 10 seconds after inhalation, with the most severe hallucinations happening probably 20 minutes into the trip. Beware that if you try this wonderful substance that you're going to be "out of it" for several hours after inhaling, and really it will take several days for you to fully recover. One of the downsides of jenkem is that you constantly have that taste of sewage in your breathing for several days after the fact.

After subsequent trips, there were a few characteristics we felt made for better trips with Jenkem. First off, if you visited the sewage treatment plant at around mid-day on a sunny day we found we got the best highs. Secondly, make sure you have someone nearby who is not high on the substance (believe me, once you've been introduced to it, you don't want to not be high on it... so find someone who isn't big into drugs to do this).

[edit] An Erowid Experience

This bitch needs to switch to Jenkem

Under the advice of several friends, I decided to give jenkem a try. I went down to the Lusaka sewage pond and filled my two liter coke bottle half full. Walking back to my hut I couldn't help but feel a little anxiety, but what did I have to lose right? Upon arrival I sit down and begin to flood my lungs with the sickly sweet aroma as my seven brothers looked on. In seconds my mind was filled with thoughts previously unfathomable. In an instant I saw what needed to be done to alleviate the poverty of my country and people. With the knowledge of kings laid out before me, I now know what I must do. Jenkem has brought me the enlightenment of my ancestors, and for this I am grateful.

There probably is a way to alleviate the poverty of your country, but huffing shit is not it.

[edit] Jenkem For teh lulz

More lulz brought to you by copypasta, Jenkem users mother seeks help from a Christian AA forum

Help My Jenkem Addict son!

[edit] Jenkem in the Canadian education system

Kim Sampson <ksampson@hpedsb.on.ca> 

 Moar options
  8:40 am (2 hours ago)
Hello:  Concerned student

I am glad that you emailed me on this topic, it has been added to our
agenda for the next school council meeting.  Jenkem has been added to
the school's police watch list, and we will investigate any reports
seriously.

Also, we have given notice to students as to the harmful effects of
this drug.  Your support is very appreciated.

If you would like to speak to me in person about this matter, I am always available at the school.

Kim Sampson,
Principal
Moira Secondary School''

[edit] Jenkem in the United States


From:  	Mr. Joe Brasfield (jbrasfield@ware.k12.ga.us)
Thank you for the information.  We are checking on this and looking into how to plan.  

Please know that I always want to know what our students are doing so we can help as much as 

possible.
Enter to Achieve
Leave Ready to Succeed
 
Joe Brasfield
WCHS Principal

[edit] Jenkem on Yahoo Answers [2]

What are the Negative Effects of Huffing Jenkem?
i am going to try it next saturday and i want to know what 
im getting in to and what i have to watch out for and also 
what could happen to me...im just trying to do it safely.