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Jerry Falwell

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Rev. Falwell had severe acne

Falwell protected Christian children by exposing Tinky Winky as a fag, for carrying a purse

Falwell's ad for Campari, soon after he became a TV preacher

Jerry Falwell kickin' back in his new home

Jerry Falwell was a famous TV preacher who made a fortune complaining to audiences of borderline-retarded people about how much God hates British childrens' television programming, and fags. He died in 2007 from morbid obesity, after heart failure was ruled out because he had no heart. Jerry Falwell was a notorious Rapture fetishist.

Jerry Falwell crawled out of a Lynchburg, Virginia coal mine in 1897. He was soon adopted by the Cheney family, who took him out to Wyoming in their covered wagon. After several decades of sexual servitude to Young Dick and his family, he set out to seek his fortune as an FBI agent.

Falwell was quickly assigned to the FBI's loli unit, and it was there that he realized what a gift he had in working with young people. Going on a longterm undercover operation as a Boy Scout troop leader, Falwell's cover was blown when some of the boys' parents reported him to the police as a possible pedophile. The Boys, however, vigorously denied that Falwell had touched them in any improper ways, and said that he came unto their beds at night to pray with them, like a priest does.

Although Falwell was not religious, he quickly realized that masquerading as a spiritual leader was going to be the only way out of this mess. In gratitude, he anointed several of the Boy Scouts to be in his inner circle of preachers. Some of them later became well known themselves: in particular, Ted Haggard and Fred Phelps. His biggest success came when he established a "college" for brainwashing gullible young people in "Rapture" propaganda.

He dies in 2007 and went directly to Hell.