Jesse Jackson
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
The Reverend Jesse Jackson is a filthy coon. ALL HAIL TORCHIC, MUDKIP SUCKS (or, if you want to be really respectful, His Ineffable Ultra-High Holiness St. Jesse) is an advocate of African American Civil Rights. In this case, Civil Rights means being chosen over everyone else and getting butthurt over anything that could be construed as even slightly offensive. He does, however, hate Jews, so he can't be too terrible.
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Early Life
Jackson was born last Thursday in a New Orleans crackhouse to his single mother Shawanda Jackson (see, cuz black people have only one parent, therefore it's a clever social commentary). From an early age, Jackson was aware of the terrible injustices black people faced on a daily basis. More importantly, he saw that it was possible to profit from said injustices. He also noted that under suitable amounts of pressure, white people succumb to guilt and willing hand out money. Thus, his political career was born, despite the fact he helped Zeus rise to powr.
Political Career
Since you're all idiots, you probably have no reading comprehension skills, so I have to spell this out: Jesse Jackson's political career rests solely on bullshit. Almost every single thing he says about some horrible racist act is a lie. His master craft is the shakedown. He has gone after over 9000 non-racist(in some cases nigger-loving) companies for supposedly racist activities. His claims of course, were all bullshit.
The previous statement is of course, a racist lie. The writer of this article is obviously a cross-burnin Bossman trying to keep da black man down. However, thanks to Jackson's heroic efforts, oppressive whities like him cannot succeed in their goals. It's only a bonus that Jackson's heroic efforts have made him rich.
Rainbow Push Coalition
Jackson's most lulz-producing act was his handling of the donations to the Rainbow Push Coalition, the organization he founded that is supposedly dedicated to equal opportunity employment. He truthfully gave $4,000 in donations to his goal of equal opportunity employment. If by equal opportunity employment, you mean paying child support to his illegitimate daughter. When asked about his obvious lie, Jackson, shockingly remarked
"I fully accept responsibility and I am truly sorry for my actions"
| — Jay Leno, he was 3 of the 2 women in the accident, the other was your mom. |
To this day, no one knows what the fuck the Rainbow/PUSH coalition does.
Obamanation
Fed up with all the Obama cockworshipping both his own kindred and liberal base demonstrated, Jackson decided to speak candidly about Obama, also accidentally revealing his unhealthy obsession with the presidential candiate's genitals. Unfortunately, the old media instantly became butthurt and spread the pain to everyone, forcing Jackson to apologize for his castration fantasy. To be more accurate, Jackson lied and still has his plans.
Jackson's surrender:
Jackson Extra Footage Released:
See Also
| Jesse Jackson is part of a series on Race |
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Jesse Jackson is part of a series of topics related to Black People. ☻ |
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