Job
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| Uh oh.. |  | Job is a bit short on content, and may leave you wanting moar. You can help by adding relevant content, pictures, links, drama and lulz. Be sure to improve the article, not mess it up. For tips, read The Manual. This article has been tagged since May 23 |
|---|
As well as being another word for boring, a job is something that unemployed people and students don't have. Jobs are, by definition, paid labor. Anything a robot could do better, a human is already doing and getting paid to -- unless they are Mexican, as paying a Mexican is purely optional.
Contents |
How to Get a Job
If that doesn't help, open up those "want-ads" your pop talks about (or alternatively, a new browser window) and start circling interesting ads. After an hour, pick up a phone and start calling around, making appointments for interviews. Eventually, you will find some paid task to occupy your attention for 8 hours every day!
Some Advantages of Having a Job
- You get some money - After the Government takes its cut for taxes.
- You might meet people you can have sex with - Take special care to avoid coworkers and professional contacts, as this may lead to a sexual harassment lolsuit.
- Free coffee, if you work as a pilot, at a hotel or a Starbucks.
- See that pen over there? Take it.
- No seriously, take it. There's a shitload of them in the supply closet. Go load your bag up with as much as you want. Paper is always complimentary.
- Here, have a company car too. Sure it's just a Taurus, but in a few years it could be a BMW!
- Get promoted to Senior VP of Sales and make more money than God
Some Disadvantages of Having a Job
- Less time to play on the internets, unless you work in an office and have a computer to yourself
- Too much RL drama, from coworkers and friends who don't see you often enough
- More opportunity for your head to explode; workplace tension is among the worst
- Most jobs don't offer paid time off, vacation or holiday breaks; will expect you to work "overtime" and during breaks mandated by law
- Drug testing is mandatory; potheads need not apply
- Having to clean your desk out once you get fired for looking at ED while working
- Security escorting you out of the building by your collar
- Being thrown into a parking lot after being fired
- Going back to finding a new job
There are many different kind of jobs. It's important to pick the right one that suits your personality.
Some Different Jobs You Might Choose
- Airline Pilot
- ED Sysop
- Habbo Hotel Moderator
- Website Administrator
- Furniture Placement Specialist
- Nutritional Sciences Expert
- Sanitation Technician
- Artist
- Performing Artist
- Wannabe Artist
- Politician
- Customer Services
- Protection of Merchandise
- Therapeudic Supply
- Insurance Collecter
- Visionary
- Veterinarian
- Preschool Teacher
- Yoga Instructor
People Who Clearly Made Bad Job Choices
See Also
| Job is part of a series on daily life Go outside and start living one! | People, Places and Things • Planes and Air Travel • Cars and Driving • Daily Enhancements • The Legal System • and it's enforcers • The Internet and it's wonderfulness • Careers and Jobs • Normal, ordinary people • Raising children • Paying bills • Interacting with Family •
|
|---|
