So cash

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(Redirected from John)

Note: Even TOW is in on the lulz

The "shit was SO cash" copypasta appeared on 4chan's /b/ sometime in mid-to-late 2007, as a picture of a typical Guido fuck with his girlfriend mocking nerdy basement-dwellers. Said guido was Paulie Carbone, a young man whose early death was mourned by relatives with heartfelt internet videos. Like gay bees to semen-flavored honey, the denizens of 4chan gobbled up this salty load of copypasta with smiles on their faces, and it spread like ~~fail~~ ~~wildfire~~ AIDS in a closed pool.

At first this forced meme was seen as a typical example of the cancer that is killing /b/; a typical piece of unfunny copypasta like any other. However as the original text was spammed relentlessly, chemo was performed on it, and many lulzy variations were created of the original load of copypasta, complete with an image and the variant text, making it notable for being one of the few memes to go from fail to a level of win. John, the protagonist of the original copypasta, is also dead IRL.

The failed meme has been briefly revived in the current SOHH projects. Typical use of the meme now involves the spelling "SOHH CASH". This is to reference the numerous ~~idiots~~ niggers on the SOHH.com forums who foolishly and blatantly challenged 4chan/ /b/ /Anonymous to an internet ~~war~~ welfare match.

It may be interesting to note that it is currently under debate as to whether John's original copypasta was not the successful efforts of a troll who happened upon said "Paul Carbone" memorial page on MySpace. This is largely due to the fact that the death date of Mr. Cash and the birth-date of the delicious copypasta appear to cross each other in the gray area.

1 The Original Cash
2 The Return
3 Apology
4 Jenna speaks out (anti-pasta)
5 Drops His Bitch
6 John's death was SO crash
- 6.1 SO Crash
7 BONUS: Guido images
8 Variations
9 See Also
10 External Links are SO fucking Cash

[edit] The Original Cash

Hey Faggots,

My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch

[edit] The Return

RON PAUL. THE REAL FUCKEN JOHN IS HERE.

I am sick of you FUCKING BITCHES calling my house every night at 3am asking for "BATTLETOADS" and sayin' the STUPID FRESH PRINCE THING. The thing is, I really do hate you fat losers who have to make up stupid lies in order to feel good about themselves, you’re all right about that. Why don’t you just try washing your face and changing your flannel shirt once in awhile and maybe you wont keep getting your IRL ass kicked by guys like me and bean called “faggot” by girls like this (my bitch).

So fuck you all for putting words in my mouth, I know I’m not perfect yet, but I’m on my way. Go back to watching star trek and playing Mario or some stupid shit, I’ll be at the beach getting HIT ON by chicks that you couldn’t even imagine let alone meet in real life.

Stop posting my picture.

- John

[edit] Apology

Last Thursday John came to his senses and apologized to all /b/tards:

[edit] Jenna speaks out (anti-pasta)

Hey guys,

My name is Jenna, and I'm asking every single one of you to help me. My boyfriend is this skinny, greasy-haired guido who spends every second of his day looking at his stupid ass hair. He is everything bad with today's youth. Honestly, do all men brag about having fucked their "bitches" last night? I mean, I guess it's because of peer pressure and trying to be accepted, but he takes it to a whole new level. This is even worse than drinking beer all day and listening to Heavy Metal.

Don't ignore me. Please, help me. I'm pretty much desperate. I was a regular at the literature club, and vice-president of the science club. I also had a thing for classical music? I used to get straight A's, that is, before I met him (He just made me blow him; Shit was SO gross). He's a faggot, and I want to kill him. Please help me!

Pic Related: It's me.

[edit] Drops His Bitch

Hey faggots. Its the real JOHN - well for real my name is Joey, it seems like youre even too retarded to see the difference.

It seems like you keep reposting my image the whole time, you're even editing my text and photo. Do you think I care? Youre just miserable - it's just like I said. By doing this you try to hide your own problems. Fuckin HUGE problems

Well, my life keeps getting better and better. I just dropped my bitch: shes just a whore who slept with my best friend (well, I still wouldnt kick her out of bed for eating crackers). Also I keep BIG PIMPIN, just got a new fuckin spendy car (a porsche) and changed my style - calling it BLUE STEEL. And you? I guess the best thing you did in the last month was masturbatin to some drawn animal sex or sick shit like that; well Ill meet two girls tonight and plan to get off with both of them.

So, do the world a favor and kill yourself before youll rape a person for real. You make me sick.

Pic related: its me and my car

[edit] John's death was SO crash

"John" is actually Paulie Carbone, who died July 10th 2007 in a fucking idiotic street racing accident where he and his idiot friend sprayed their combined 2 oz. of brains over the pavement of mountainside street in Jersey. Since his death was SO cash, his friends and family immediately created several shitty videos on YouTube with shitty songs. Because you don't fucking mourn by posting vids on YouTube visible for everyone, Anonymous, as the good-hearted person he is, offered the Carbones his condolences (video has been removed) at the comments page resulting in Paulie's mom getting a heavy period and going crazy in the comments herself.

"every thing you write will be deleted if you want to say something come say it to my face pauls father would like to meet you oh also his uncle and friends and etc so keep it up come on fucking scumbag with the big mouth come say it to us so i can have you head protruding from your anus oh wait is already is with all the shit you say dirtbag i will be waiting that goes for all writing nasty comments come say it to me his mother who lost her only child also have your parents come meet me"

-pauliecmom

"YOU RELLY NEED TO STOPP NOW.. YOUR ALL JUST JEALOUS COZ HE WAS LOVED BY ALOT OF PEOPLE ND YOUR A WORTHLESS PiECE OF SHiT ND TRUST ME YOU DNT WANT US TO FiND YOU COZ TRUST ME YOULL HAVE TO BE HOSPiTALiZED.. GET A LiFE SCUMBAGS =]"
- mariaNpaulie

[edit] SO Crash

Note: This isn't actually "John", he was in the passenger seat and the car was upside down, lol.

Hey mourners,

His name was John, and he was loved by every single one of you. He thought dearly of you Anonymous, spending every second to try and steer you away from what he thought were bad life choices. He thought what he was doing was everything right in the world. Honestly, he was so deeply rooted in his beliefs. I mean, now that he's gone, so are his insecurities, and at least his soul is at a whole new level. To his family, his loss is the worst thing that could happen. Please, mourners of /b/, don't be a stranger. Speak up about your favorite memories with John. He is now in perfection, looking down on all. He was captain of the football team, and starter on his basketball team. He knew he was faster and tougher than a lot of people, and wasn't afraid to say it. He got straight A's, and had a beautiful girl at his side (he was going to propose next week, shit would have been so cash). You are all welcome to mourn at his casket. Thanks for listening. Pic Related: It's him at time of death.

In memory, John. You will be missed.

- as a side note, brake cutting was added to anons list of mighty powers.