Jonas Brothers
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ THEY GOT TIRED OF PLAYING SOLO |
The Jonas Brothers are a gay boy band made up of Nick, Joe, and Kevin Jonas. Coincidentally, the band name can be shortened to JB. They brainwash their impressionable fans into worshiping them by pretending to be polite, gentlemanly Christians who have parents and feelings. Some argue they are the second coming of The Beatles. What these idiotic victims of the American media don't realize is that this is just how they're marketed. Didn't you see Camp rock? They have no real talent whatsoever, which is shown when they hit random drums, strum random power chords, and sing like whiny three-year-old girls getting bananas shoved up their asses. They piss away the best years of their lives producing music that is so sugary-sweet, it gave front man Nick Jonas Type 1 Diabetes. These faggots don't even take advantage of the masses and masses of loli pussy at their disposal. Their existence only proves that Disney is now run by a bunch of pedos.
Contents |
[edit] Trolling a JB fan
Trolling JB fans is quite easy, and often results in epic lulz due to the fact that they are all whiny, oversensitive 12 year old girls.
- "I hope Nick dies of diabetes."
- "Wouldn't it be awesome if all three got hit by a train?"
- "Wait, you mean that thing that's singing is a GUY???"
- "I think all three of them are ugly."
- "None of them will EVER go out with you. They'd MUCH rather be having gay orgies with each other."
- "Hey, remember that time when Joe fell on stage and cut his hand open? That was some pretty funny shit!"
- "HEY JB fans! Are you tired of all these haters? Just go to doom3.zoy.org to help put a stop to them."
- "Q: How many Jonas Brothers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Who knows? The only thing they've ever screwed is each other!"
- "JB fuckin fucking sux"(gets them all the time)
- "Wern't they in that hockey movie from the 70s with Paul Newman?" Proceed by showing this delightfully wonderful family-friendly clip from said movie
- I think the Jonas Brothers are ugly, fat, and have no talent."
- They're this generation's Backstreet boys, so we have to make fun of them!
- Bon Jovi Rules!!1!
- Actually, I have a life. It takes about 15 minutes to piss off a bunch of you stupid fangirls. Now let me turn it back on you: What's so fun and exciting about YOUR life?
- EPIC TROLL EVAR! FREEZE THE JONAS BROTHERS ACCOUNTS (LULZ ENSURES)
- I lip-synch better than they sing.
- Jonas Brothers live chat here http://www.justin.tv/jonasbrothers at 9:00pm or so. GO IN THERE AND SPAM FOR THE LULZ!!! COME ON /b/rothers!!!
- this "hate stuff" you think we do, isnt hate at all its more like friendly reminders that save u from shitty music, we do it because we care. Its not a waste of time because all u bj o i mean jb lovers seem to take notice"
[edit] Hilarious "comebacks" from JB fans
- "GET A LIFE!!!" (Even though it takes about 10 minutes to piss off a shitload of fans. On the other hand, the fans waste their entire day doing something JB-related.)
- "PONED!!!" (Yes, that's how they spell the word "Pwned.")
- "OMJ! Stop being so mean!" (Yes, OMJ stands for Oh My Jonas. Pathetic, I know.)
- "Well I THINK UR MUSIC SUCKS!" (Irony.)
- "UR JUST JEALOUS BCUZ THEY HAVE TALENT N U DONT!!(Even though there's nothing to be jealous of.)
- U BIG MEENY!!! GO FUCK UR MOM!!! (And why do they want us to fuck our mom?)
- ASSHOLE MEENY JERK DICK FAG PUSSY WHORE CUNT FUCKER GO FUCK A ZEBRA!!! (LMFAO! And how old are you?)
- That's awful saying u want Nick 2 die of diabetes!!! Well I hope u die of AIDS from fucking ur mom!!! (ROFLMFAO!)
- FUCK U! GET A LIFE! I HOPE U DIE! Peace Love JONAS!!! (Umm, using "Peace Love JONAS" is not only an incredibly gay little saying, but it also kind of kills the point of an "insult.")
- Oh yeah why would you even CARE about our lord and savior? hhmmm? when your making kill pages and stuff! what the crap is your problem?(This is what happens when you they find out you mention God in another comment on your channel.)
- dont show me a bad page about, stop hating (A bad page about what, baklava? Elephants?)
- ur a racist peice of craph!!And i am nor prissy!!!So go die in a hole!!!Leave me alone!!!! (EPIC)
- ur an ass!!!! leave the jonas brothers alone. ur a jerk who obviously has no life cuz all he does is leave mean messages on JB's channel!!! They and you don't which is why you are obviously jealous of them. also cuz they are hot and you are obviously not!!! :( ( I friggin lol'd)
- Ok, I usually don't like saying this type stuff in public, but you give me no choice.YOU ARE A ASS!!!!!! LEAVE JB ALONE YOU FAT, CAKE EATING SHITHEAD!!!!! (lolwut)
- DONT HATE ON THE JOBROS MAN!!!!!!!! ( Epic lmaolulzforwtfbbq)
- The Jonas Brothers are wonderful performers and beautiful people (Epic lie)
- the jonas brothers are the best damn thing that happened to the world (so were the Crusades)
- the jonas brothers r the best so dont go on there page ande write some fucking dumd ass shit lik u did k (Anyone else notice how illiterate they are?)
- you just dont like them becuase they dont curse, do drugs, and dont only talk about sex in their songs. they actually write about stuff that has meaning to it. (Nice job stereotyping all musicians)
- Get some help haters....you need to find something better to do with your life!!!!!!!!! (You mean like fapping to no-talent boybands like you do?)
- Whatever loser 00100 (Wtf? Why is she talking Binary??)
- you have no life jackass i hope you die so eat sh!t you can go die and burn in hell with the rest of the haters for all i care (Lol emo fan)
- All jonas brothers fans hear me sing sos and stop it you people with no life who make stupied offending things to the jonas brothers go watch some tv (Watch some tv? LOL WUT)
- You suck fudge!!! i hate you!!! Leave JB and their fans alone!! (Can't honey, I'm trolling)
- GO give each other bj's! STOP! leaving comments like that on their videos if U DONT LIKE THEM!? Y the HELL would u comment on it, if u dont like it?! (Uh...to comment that I don't like it?) GROW UP U JERK OFFS!! (Can't. Too busy jerking off.)
- ur wrong and just jealous!! (Yeah... because I really wish I were gay and MY balls would fall off, too.)
- well for 1. nick jonas is soo cute!!! 2.they are amazing!!! 3. they rock and are talented and awsome!!!! (... unfortunately they automatically fail for getting an audience comprised of lolis, including you)
- Go suck it up your butt (and this is coming from an adolesent girl?)
- "IF U HATERS THINK HES SO UGLY THEN WHO DO U LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON" (We liked him when he was still black)
- "HI i will come bitch slap you fat fuck ok cuz jonas brother never did nothing to you " (LOL empty threats)
- why do you compare them with the Beatles??? the 2 bands are different... and besides they're OLD... who will care??? most of the teens like myself don't even know the Beatles' music..... and especially don't CARE!!! THEY DON'T PLAY ANYMORE SO WHO WILL APPRECIATE THEM??? (ONLY THE OLD PEOPLE LIKE YOURSELF!)" (This is a real comment, I kid you not)
- "hey your a idiot the jonas brothers rule and i can get the whole world to say that ecxept you idiot" (Wanna bet?)
If you are having trouble reading these comments, the basic summery is: BAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW YOU MADE FUN OFF JB WHICH MAKES YOU AN UGLY CUNT WHO HAS NO LIFE AND IS JEALOUS OF SOME POP BAND!
[edit] Typical Jonas Fans
If you want to see them get pwned, watch the video with annotations.
[edit] What the critics are saying about the Jonas Brothers:
| —Arise15 |
| —pronemortalform92 |
| —UndeadAngel993 |
| —ZealsWrath |
| —Bruce Bowen |
| —Joe Jonas on his homosexuality |
| —Chelsea Handler |
Chelsea Handler hates the Jonas Brothers. (Just fucking priceless.)
| —Plyswthsqrrls616 <-Troll plz kthxbai |
[edit] Chelsea Handler VS. The Jonas Brothers
| —Chelsea Handler |
Chelsea's interview with the Jonas Brothers.
Chelsea's Response to the Hate Mail for the Interview.
[edit] History
The Jonas Brothers are the spawn of Satan himself. They got their start on Broadway (not unlike the Marx Brothers only not wacky, likeable, and funny), sucking dicks and selling their bodies to get good parts. Since no one seemed to like them that much, they decided to seek the help of Extreme Makeover to make them not only "attractive", but so hot that any gullible preteen girl who looked at them would instantly fall in "love" (lust) with them regardless of how much their music sucked. This plan worked. They eventually signed with Disney, which is where 90% of their fans heard about them. Now they're off to Hollywood Records (which is owned by Disney) where they will continue to make terrible "music" and pollute the minds of preteen girls worldwide, until they get too old and replaced by another shitty music group.
A re-enacted history of the Jonas Brothers' life.
[edit] Fanfiction
Yes, there is fanfiction of the Jonas Brothers in the cesspool otherwise known as Fanfiction.net. It is well known fact
some most all fanfiction authors are 16-year-old girls and therefore, stupid as a pile of bricks, but it should be noted that Jonas Brothers fans who join the site are somehow even stupider than the normal authors. The girls, however, are too fucking dumb to realize STORIES INVOLVING REAL PEOPLE ON A FANFICTION SITE ARE NOT ALLOWED; therefore, whenever this is pointed out in a review, the authors unleash their fury onto the unsuspecting reviewer via a chatspeak-ridden, caps-lock-abusing review reply. Most of the Jonas Brothers stories are incorrectly categorized under "A Cinderella Story","Hannah Montana", or Miscellanous TV shows (try looking for an MST3K story in there!), but there is talk about creating a "Camp Rock" archive. If this should happen, some are speculating the already dangerous levels of fail in Fanfiction.net will rise to exponential levels, crashing the site's browser and possibly the entire internet as well.
[edit] Disregard That, I Suck Cocks
Last Thursday, the retarded admins of Fanfiction.net finally got off their lazy asses and began baleeting Jonas Brothers fics en masse. Epic lulz was had as the JB fans kicked up a huge shitstorm. Ten minutes seconds into the shitstorm, most had given up and left for greener pastures, such as poorly moderated Jonas Brothers fanfiction sites, but many are still posting their shit here, please feel free to do some "MSTings" if you have the chance!
OK Lora Marza Made a mistake in Her Like By Cheating on Her Boyfriend with her BFs Brother But what happens when He Finds Out and He Leaves her Forever (as in he I mean her BF).
(Story)
“Lora!! Get your ass down here!” Joe said. (If your Guessing Joes her BF your wrong!) “1 sec Joe I need to say Bye to Kevin be for we go to the Movies “I shouted back.
”So… where were we Hun?” I asked Kevin. (And yes Kevin is her BF has a problem wit it? To bad LOL jk jk jk). “I think right here” he said Leaning in and Kissing her.
“GOD DAMNS IT LORA LETS GO!” Joe yelled. “ sorry the Josser awaits” I said to kev Giving him a kiss on his lips quick.( By the way Kevin is 23 Joe is 21 and Nick is 19 and
Lora is 20) I Ran down the Stars “FINNALLY!” Joe yelled. “Well sorry!” I said. We Hoped in Joes Car a Drove down to the Theater we were going to see Shutter. Joe Got the Tickets
and we got the Popcorn and the Drinks and The Candy. We sat in the Back Cuz Joe Knows how I get in a horror movie. The Movie was Playing and as soon as something Jumped out
I Held on to Joe for Dear Life! “Dude Lora your ok Im here” Joe said gazing at me. “I know it’s a movie Im Just…” and before she could finish Joe had Just Probably Flat out put out
his feelings for her. He kissed her with passion. She started to kiss back but remembered Kevin. I pulled back. “Joe I cant Im sorry” I said and looked back at the screen. I knew that
wouldn’t make him stop. He started to kiss my Neak. “Joe...Stooooop” I said with a moan. “Doesn’t sound like you want me to” he said. “Joe I can’t do this please” I said.
“He won’t find out” Joe said. He went back to kissing my neck. “Joe… I said stop so please do so I… I love Kevin” I said. “You smell Like Strawberries” Joe said. That made me Laugh.
“Funny Joe Very funny”I said. “Well you do I think is hot” he said. Had He Grabed my Face a kissed me again. I tried to pull away but it didn’t work I was stuck there. He was a good
kisser though. Must Run in the Family. I started kissing Back. That put a smile on Joes face. Joe Placed the Popcorn on another seat and Faced toward me. Pretty soon we were
making out in the Movie theater. How rich I now!Joe had removed his hands from my face and placed it on my hip.God please don’t tell me hes gona go up my shirt.I put my
hands in his hair. Wow it was soft.hahaha Just my luck Joe goes and puts his right hand up my shirt. Rubbing up and Down my stomch. I moand into our kiss.DAMN IT!!
Why did he have to be so hot?I Don’t know what is coming over me but this …. This is NOT good!. Then I Pulled away. “ Joe I feel weird… I cant do this! I want to go home.”
I said. He said ok and we left. “ He made a promise not to tell anyone about our make out fest in a movie theater. I agreed I wasn’t gonna tell. HELL NO! Then We got to the
Jonas house hold. “ Finally my Baby is Back” Kevin said as I walked though the Door. “ Kevin it has been 2 hours its not that bad” I said. “well w/e I missed you” he said. He Kissed
me.I loved his kisses. I loved him. Not Joe well Joe in a Brother way never BF /GF thing.” Lets go to my room” Kevin said. “ ok” I said.We went to his room and it was like around 5pm.
I always ate dinner at the Joneses if it was past 5. I tured to Kevin and He started kissing me.I Ran my hands though his curls. Oh how I loved them.Kevin Worke down my Jaw line
and he kissed and sucked on my coller bone. I moaned a bit like I always did. He liked that spot. I have no Idea why.He had his hands on my hips.We got closer Bodies touching.
Then He Pulled on the Hem. I nodded. He pulled the shirt over my headHe kissed Chest lightly.Sent shivers up my spine. I Began to unbutton his shirt but he stood back and took
it off for me .I Looked at his tan Chest. Man He was Musle.Then We went back to kissing. He rubbd his hips aganst mine. I Moaned a bit.( His Parents weren’t home Nick was at
soccer Practice.ON a Sunday ..Typical.. Just Joe But I heard the Front door and a car so I guess we were home alone) “Lora? How far did you wanna go Babe” he asked me.
Im My oppinon all the way But I said this. “ What ever I am ready for anything” I said with a smile. “ good cuz I didn’t wanna push it that far with out your permission.
” He said with a smile. “aww thanks for your concern. He kissed me all the way to my ear. “ I want all of you” he said. I smailed and replied. “ I was hoping youd say this”.
( Ok well soo you know JB don’t have the rings soo no worries and well the Mistake is coming and so you know Kevin protected him self and Nothing Happens also its about to get
graphic soo if you don’t wanna read this try to find were it ends or ill put a were it ends). Kevin Looked at me with lust in his eyes. I was gonna give him all of me.
We kissex more and he took off my bra witch went with my shirt on the Floor . Kevin Never saw mw without a bra so he took in the View he said a wow in there. I giggled.
I went to his ear. I think you should put on something while I take my pants off” I wispherd to Kevin. He blushed and went to his drawer. He went to his bathroom while I
was taking off my Pants. I thought id let Kevin take the honor of taking off my underwear.I Guess Kevin had the Same idea cuz he came out with his boxers on.. He looked at me
the He came at me. We kissed fearcely. We Landed on the Bed. He took off my underwear slowly as he kissed his way down my stomch. He lookd and my “Friend”
(My Mom came up with that name) “ you know what?” He asked “What” I replied. “ I Never said this…. I Love you Lora” He smiled. “ I Love you too Kevin” I said. Then
He removed his boxers. AND WHOA! He had a big member down there. “wow” I wisphrd to myself but appently Kevin heard. “ what its not that big” he said. I Luaghed.
We Kissed. Kevin Looked at me. “are you ready?” he asked. “ I have been” I said. And he slowly eneterd me. He was doing it slowly in and out. It sorta hurt.”mmm”
I said in pain but it felt good. “ babae you ok?” he asked. “ yea stop for a sec” I said. He Nodded I Asked him to go deeper. He did it felt good. “ Ok continue” I said.
He obliged and did so. His thrus in and out. I Felt more Please coming. “ohhh” I moaned. Kevin smiled and went a little faster.”Kevin” his Name came out in a wispher moan.
He did it even fater now.ohhh Kevin” I said a little louder. He went just a tad faster. “ OhhhOh Oh Oh!” I started to feel it. “ Kevin!” I yelled. He did it as Fast as he could.
The trust Be came More sloppier I New it was almost time for the Climax. “ OH GOD KEVIN PLEASE HARDER!!” I yelled Repeatedly.” Harder! Harder!” I yelled.
Then He hit it Right in the Spot”KEVIN OMG! AGAIN” I said. He did so. Then He Fell next to me. “ Oh Lora..that was amazing!” he said. I kenw what he ment.
That was the Best Feeling ever. But soming thing Felt weird in me. “ ummm Kevin… we forgot a step!” I said. He New what I Ment. He spread my Legs and did his Job.
His tong Felt good down there. Then it was my turn. Kevin took off the Condom. And I looked at it. Weird I thought to my myself and then I did my Job. We laid in his bed sheets
over us and everything. I fell asleep in kevins arms then 10 mins ater we hear the Door slam. “ Shit Nickis home” Kevin said. We Got our clothes on and heard a knock.
“ Is it safe?” Nick asked with his hand over his eyes. “No nick im Naked” I said Joking ly. “ hahaha Very funny really is it?” he asked again. “yes Nick” Kevin said.
“ Oh mom and dad said were home on our own they accally Left with Frakie to see Grandma and Grandpa so thell be gone all week. And Sence Loras Moms gone for the Month
shes staying with us mom said. Kevin Smiled. “ GREAT!” he said and looked at me. “ kool I guess im the cook.” I said the Nodded. “ great well steak tonight boys!” I said. I remember
getting a soda and seeing a steak in there with the sause on it. “ YES!” they yelled.
The Next Day………..
“Lora swttie im sorry But I need to take nick to a doctor appointment” Kevin said. “ Its ok Ill Hang iht Joe till you come Back and that will be?” I asked.” 2 hours” He replyed.
“ Doctors out of town” He added. No Prob Ill Be here” I said. Kevin said goodbye and Left with nick . “Great… Now im stuck with a guy who wants me” I thought. “ Joe!!” I yelled.
He came running. “what?” he said. Nick had to go to the Doctors thell Be gone for 2 hours what you wanna do?” I asked….. hmmm I Have an Idea. “you like board games?” he asked.
“ I Love them!” I replied. “well come in my room and well play some” he said. “ Ok” I said. I Followed him to his room it was some what neat. “ Ok we Have Monopoly or sorry” He said.
Hmmmm Depends Is this strip or No Strip” I asked. Cuz im so use to playing Both. “ if you want strip “ He said with a grin. “sure” I said he took it out and I said I was gonna get us a
drink. I Made my doozer wich has alchol in it Don’t worry me and Joe have had it befor ( The drink) I mde a thing of it For me and Joe.This was gonna be fun. “ Ok Joe you roll first
I pickedthe game.. wait do you know how 2 play?” I asked. He Blushed and Shook No.” Om well when we Buy out property if you land on it you have 2 give me a peaice of Clothing
same goes for you.” She said. “ Oh ok” he said and we Beagn It has Been a Half of an hour and I Had Lost My shirt My hairtie (IDK why) My shoes and Now my Pants. Joe Lost His tie
( Love it) his shirt and his pants) “ ant this fun I asked taking a sip outta my drink” I was a litte wased I think I added to much acholal . “yea“Joe said He lokied at me hungry.
“mmmm you looking at me Joey” I said. OMG did I Just say that? “ what if I am?” he said. Coming over to me. “I don’t Know” Isaid. Our Faces got Closer.The we kissed on
Joes Floor ful of clothes. In about aminute Joe was on me kissing me rubbing me in Places. It all felt so good. “ oh Joe.” I moaned when he robed him self aganst me. Joe was
kissing me His hands on my Butt. I wrapped my Leggs around him as we rubbd against each other. Oh.. Joe.. I want more” I said. OH shit! Im drunk I have no idea what im
doing and Joes drunk and yeaa great in an hour my BF will be home wonderful.”Do.. you mean inside you?” he asked nervously I was Drunk so I Vigursly nodded.
(there was the Mistake thaere) He looked at me in amaze. He Obliged and took my Bra and underwear off. He stared at me “ god your sexy!” he said. He took off his boxers and then
he enterd me ( My mistake I forgot to see if he ad a condom) I didn’t feel pain this time I wraped my lagges agound Joe he went in deeper and did it harder.”Joe….JOE” I moand.
” Lora ..I Love you” he said.” Oh Joe I Love you to! Just screw me!” OK I don’t know what that Hell Im Doing But this is Bad! He went harder and I Felt it coming sorta
“ ohhh Joe… Harder” I said.He did so then I Knew it ! it was coming “ Oh Joe Fatser! FASTR!” I yelled a bit. He did so “ Ohh JOE OH JOE!!” I said he want as hard and fast as he
could he was getting sloppy. “ OMG JOE!! YES!! YES!!” I said he hit it right. “again” I moand He did so the same spot I Souted “ JOE YES!” and then we fell off eachother.
We were in his clothes cuddled. I fell asleep for 5 mins and woke up with a killer headach and a Naked Joe next to me.” Omg Joe… did we Just..” I was about to say it But he finished it
. “have sex?... Yea.. and.. I wanted it too I don’t Know about you But … I Love you lora” He said with a seruos face on. I looked in his eyes. God he was gorus. “ I love you too Joe. And
I Mean it but we cant tell Kevin” I said. He understood. “ Um Joe lets get dressed and Have some pizza. We did that and watched a movie. then Kevin Came home and I felt sick I went
to the Bathroom and Threw up. (oh shit I think to myself I never throw up why am I now OH Shit Plz no!) I walked out of the House and went to Kennys RX Pharmacy to Get 5 tests
I went home and stood in the Bathroom. Joe Knocked on the Door “Lora … you ok?” he asked.Then I lokmed at the Test a Big Happy Face was on. ( FUCK!! Im Screwed I will Just
tell him) “ No Joe im Not” I said (No wait im Not gonna do that)” Get Nick” I added. “ Ok” he said. Nick Knocked on the Door and I Let him In. He saw the Test Boxes.
“OMG Lora… you ok?” he asked. “ No.. nick Im Pregnant!” I said. I Felt tears. Nick Held me Close. “its OK” He said. But the Problem is Nick I don’t Know if its Kevin or Joe” I said.
He was in shock I said Joe. “ the Day with the Doctors I told Him. He nodded. “its ok we Have to tell them he said. “ I don’t know if I can thell Have to take tests too now” I said.
“ if its Kevin Good if its Joe well Hell be good too and I bet Kevin wont get that mad.” He said. “Ok Nick” We got out and went to the Living room. “ Hey guys” I said.
“ Hey hunny” Kevin said and tried to kiss me but I rejected. Guys…Im..uh… Pregnant” I said. When I said the P word Joe and Kevin went White.”and Kevin I am sooo sorry but I did
it with Joe too and I don’t know who that father is” I said I fell to my knees and Nick held me.” WHAT!?” Kevin yealled. “ Im sorry Kevin Im soo sorry!” I said sobbing.
“ No u Whore!!I will take tests if its mine I will take care of it with you but were never going to be together again! But if its Joe I am Moving to a place where you cant find me.
I wont come to anyithg you send me.” He said with anger. “ you did not Just call Lora a Whore! FYI kev… We were drunk! Like we knew what we did” he said.” Look guys stop
yelling lets get lora to the hospital and see who the father is” Nick said. They agreed we were waiting then The nurse called us. Me and the Jonas es enterd the room.
They sat down and I sat on the thing. Then the Doctor came in. “ahh Miss Marza what do we have you here for?” he asked. 1) I think im Pregnat and 2) if I am I need to
Know if the Father is Joe or Kevin.” I said. He nodded well lets see if we do have a babby in there. He lifted my shirt and put the Gell on. He looked in the thing and Smiled well
CONgraduations you are pregnant not I will need a sample of the fathers and you and well find out in 3 hours he said. We agreed he took the test and we were waiting
wondering. I had a feeling I will lose Kevin for ever. “ hello miss Marza! Well I Have the Results witch ones Joe and witch ones Kevin I Pointed and The Doctor lOkked atKevin
so… Im sorry your Not the father he said. Kevin looked at the ground about to cry but I saw Joes Face he was excited. He was happy. “so this means you Joe” He was Looking at
Nick. I Lughed. “Rong Jonas Im Nick” …”Oh, well then Joe you are the Father” he said “ ill see you in a month miss Marza!” The doctor added and left. “ Bye forever Lora” Kevin
said and Left. I didn’t feel that sad though. Joe came over to me and Gave me a kiss. “ soo I guess im a daddy now” he said with a smile. “ Yeaa I said.
Later that day…………
Me Joe and Nick Came home and we saw Kevins car gone His room Empty Practilly and a Note on the Table
Dear Lora,
I wished so Much I was the Father. I guess Im Not if your reaing this. Im Gone forever. Youll never find me. I Hope you and Joe get Married. And Take care of your kid.
I could tell Joe really Loves you. I cant Love you the way he does.I Hop your Happy and I Just wanted to say I will always remember our moment as a prized memory.
Love you always,
Kevin
I read it and I cried Joe Held me . “ He right though Lora I love you soooooooooo Much” Joe said in his cute voice I laughed.” Well if is is a girl what do we name her?”
I asked Randomly. “oh…um..i like earthier May or Summer He said. “ I ike May” I replied.” May Denise Jonas” I added. Joe liked it. “yeaaa My Mom will feel special.” He said. And a Boy?”
I asked.” Hmmm Jacob or Darren” he said. “ I like Darren” he said. Darron Paul Jonas” I said. “ I Like that too” he said.” Joe what do u want?”I asked. “ umm I don’twant to sound
crazy But ummm twins.. a Boy and a girl he said. I smiled. “Me too”.
1 Month Later………..
We Havent heard from Kevin at all. Mrs Jonas is sooo Happy Mr Jonas is Just as Happy. I am Living with the Jonases in Joes room. Joe and I are getting Married after
I Have my kid or kids but today I will find out. I kinda grew a bit and its scary.Joe Drove Down and we waited to Be called. We were then I saw the doctor.” Ahhh miss Marza! Hello
cheak up I see well well see what we have and see what sex it is “ he said he took the gel Like always and put it on the stomic. “ OH wow Miss Marza umm you wont Believe this
Bet we Have triplets here.” He said. No onder why I felt big than I should. “wow” me and Joe said. “ you really Gave it to her Joe” the Doctor said Joe Blushed and the Doctor Smiled
ill tell you what the sex is when I get back. He Left and “OMG Joe!! Were having 3 kids!!”I said. “ I know ok I hope one is a boy he said. While me and Joe were freaking the Doctor
came back with a smile”2 boys and a girl” he said.”eppp” was all I got out I Gave Joe a hug I began to cry. “ Ok hun Lets tell mom and dad and ppl” Joe said leading me out.
We went home and Mrs Jonas looked happy. “triplets 2 boys and a girl” I said She was in shock. “ dang Joe you got her good” mr J said. I laughed Joe blushed. “that’s that
the Doctor said. I saw nick and he congratulated me. Imwent to Joes room and fell asleep I was tired from all the excitement!
6 Months later its October… and the Babys are Coming!
“Hey hun… “Joe said to me.” Hey” I said I was like HUGE! “ hunny no affence but your Big” he said. “ I know im happy” she said. Then… I Felt wet.
“OMG OMG oMG! Joe take me to the Hospotal My water Broke!’ I said. He looked panick he picked me up and Braught me to the Car we Drove there nick and all them
Met us there. Denise and Joe went to the room with me she gided me though this. Got I felt like I was gonna die. OK I was in the room all set up and everything. I squeezed
Joes Hand to Death. But they all Came out they are all 5 Mins apart.I was surprised… I saw him here. Kevin he was here . They put me in a room and I saw him come in.
“ hey… look at you 3 kids..good luck” he said. “ I only came by to give Joe my # and my address so I can see my Nice and Newphes he said. “ Ok “ Isaid and He Left Joe came in
he loked at them all boy Just like Joe girl was a nothing like Joe more…Kevin. “um Nurse can I see my doctor” I asked. “sure” she said. He came in “you rang?” he said. Ummm
why does my May look nothing like Joe?” I asked. Wel.. its kevins see DNA gets messy sometimes so yeaa.” He said. I was screaming in my head I had Joe and Kevins Kid
(A/N: I know its not possible or maybe it is IDK) Joe steped in “ Hey hun” he said. “ Hey… Call Kevin Please he needs to get back down here” I said. “why” he asked.
“may is his kid not yours Joe” I said He looked mad but hey it was the truth. Joe told Kevin to come and he did “ Kevin hold your dauther I said. He looked confused.
”doc said DNA was u soo I gave you and Joe pride and Joys” I said.” Kevin smiled “ im happy the memory made something” he said. Yeaa But Kevin when she gets older she has
to know about this!” I said he Oked. Well….. I Guess youll have 2 wait for the sequal to Know about how Loras life went with May Darren and Joe Jr
The End
For now……….
I would have added moar but since crappy editor is crappy (or has some vendetta against Firefox), it keeps glitching up on me, thus hindering my addition of lulz.
But you get the point.[edit] Hate Sites
There are a couple hate sites attacking the JoHoez, here's one of them: http://www.dchaters.omgforum.net
[edit] Yahoo! Answers
As Yahoo! Answers is predominated by 12 year old girls and 30 year old pedophiles (The demography that makes up the bulk of the Jonas Brothers' fan base), you can only imagine the amounts of sheer failure and faggorty that are pumped into the already shit-tastic servers daily. Questions such as 'wut iz nicks personel fone #!?!?!?!!!11!1' and 'duz joe acept rim jobs frum fans?!?!!11' are oh too common place.
Jonas fantards lurk about the Celebrity section, ready to defend their favorite faggots with their powers of shitty grammar and flawed logic at a moment's notice. As you have undoubtedly discovered, most 12-year-old girls would rather have a hot poker jammed up their loli pussy than hear another person talk shit about their 'fave rawk band'. Couple this with the fact that the Jonas Brothers are easily the most discussed band on the boards, and you have a prime trolling ground.
[edit] Pictures
A behind-teh-scenes look at the three faggots. |
Proving he is a Fag. Even Mudkip knows! |
||
picture of the Jo Anus Brothers being born from their mom |
[edit] See Also
- Attention Whore
- Sell Out
- Fucktard
- Assclown
- Faggot
- Fangirl
- Shit
- Gay
- 12 year old girls
- Disney
- Vanessa Hudgens
- Miley Cyrus
- Ghey
- Fail
- Diabeetus
- Camp rock
[edit] External Links
- The Jonas Brothers' YouTube Page,Troll plz
- The Jonas Brothers' MySpace Page
- The Jonas Brothers' OFFICIAL Website
- One of the Jonas Brothers' Fansite
- Another Jonas Brothers' Fansite
- Another completely gay Fansite
- JOHOEZ HATERS FORUMS
- A Jonas Brothers forum full of Fanfiction.net rejects. Embed Pain Series for epic win.
|
Jonas Brothers is part of a series on Music. |
|
|
| Jonas Brothers is part of a series on Child Abuse. |
|
| Jonas Brothers is part of a series on Whores. |
|


