Josef Mengele
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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[edit] Doctor Josef Mengele
Josef Mengele is a famous Nazi doctor who has been doing it for the lulz for at least 100 years. He was a fairly shitty AWESOME doctor because 400,000 people died in his gas chambers at Auschwitz. He and Adolf Hitler teamed up to kill over 9000 Jews last Thursday.
It is alleged that he repeatedly told Jews that lulz would ensue if they all hung out in this room together and played Scrabble. Unfortunately for teh jooz, "playing Scrabble" was really code for "getting motherfucking killed by poison gas." Upon his death, he admitted to doing it for teh lulz. He also tried to inseminate Jew wymenz with the sperm of German shepherds, but that only resulted in epic fail.
[edit] Mengele's Secret Fetish
It is now widely known that Joseph Mengele was a hoarder. Some people hoard newspapers, others hoard cats but Joe liked to hoard twins. Little skinny Jewish twins that he had freighted in from all over Europe on the highly efficient German train system. Brave doctor Mengele realized that if Jews could reproduce two at a time that they would outnumber the master race in at least 100 years. Joe was also a known pedophile who was known to offer the camp's younger twins candy that he just happened to have in his pocket and encouraged them to call him "Uncle Billy Bob Joe".
[edit] Props from the Fuhrer for Joe
Hitler was incredibly pleased with doctor Joe and came to visit a lot. He would sometimes bring his dog Blondi who liked to chase the little twins and rip them to pieces, much to the amusement of the Fuhrer and doctor Joe. Joe was awarded the Volkswagen Schickelgruber Cross of Valor for his efforts in 1943. Not long after this the Nazis got pwned by the Allies and Mengele had to flee to Bel-Air where he ate a lot of steak and molested local children with other escaped Nazis.
[edit] The Manhunt for Mengele
After a while a group of butthurt Jews got together and wondered why they never had twins anymore. The finger was eventually pointed at doctor Joe. Joe knew the Jews would come for him one day so he disguised himself as a cowboy and spent the rest of his life free from the Jews riding around on a horse and chasing cows.
[edit] The Toothy Gap
One of Mengele's most distinguishing features was the rather large and oddly charming gap in between his two front teeth. This is believed to be the source of all his evil, as well as an efficient and creative way of slurping noodles. After his death, Mengele's toothy gap has become a fixture of fascination for historians and garnered itself a sizable horde of rabid fangirls.
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