Josephthelover

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This luser is a lolcow, and should be lulzed to death in the usual fashion.
You can help by posting their nude pix or trolling their talk page.

Born in 1988, Josephthelover claims to be a 25 year old man living in Toronto. His journal is mainly notable for having only one friend. He is also the creator of The Real WomanManifesto, a community with one member and one person watching. He tends to be in a constant state of butthurt.

He is also known as "Dimitri the Lover". He now famous in real life for being completely insane. See the Toronto Sun article here.

His pickup technique seems to consist of badgering women for their business cards and then leaving psychotic answering machine messages on their phones. This example has been posted to YouTube eleventy billion times - observe the master at work!

Contents

[edit] Let the romance begin!

Joseph's alter-ego Dmitri is such a hot stud that he (or some outraged feminazi) has decided to share his pickup technique with you.

1. Badger the dike into giving you her business card.

2. Next, leave creepy messages on their machine until they call you to tell you to go fuck yourself:

I don't really date timid women. Call me as soon as you have the courage to.


This is how I work: If you're psychologically normal, call me


There's nothing WRONG with Dmitri! In fact he's one of the few men in the city who have nothing wrong with them!

3. Let the romance begin!

4. Profit! (if you are a lawyer, that is)

It turns out the Joseph / Dmitri is in fact a psychopathic ex-quack who had been disbarred from the medical establishment for "sexual misconduct", ie tentacle rape. Apparently he is making a major feature film about his exploits, which the internet community awaits with baited breath.

[edit] Notable Slander

As kingjoey and joeycasanova, Josephthelover first appeared on LiveJournal in January 2005. The long, relentless Canadan winter drove this sex-starved virgin online, looking for women to pleasure. Since that time, he has taken a liking to that community, stayed through spring and now summer, blitzing women in every community relentlessly. He has used LiveJournal solely as a vehicle to completely unsuccessfully seek sex.

He targeted every female demographic, from unsatisfied women to professionals too fugly for a relationship to bored housewives. It came across as very gimmicky, so any women who came across it was immediately skeptical or merely bored. If any woman ever added him to her friends list, they might have seen pictures of him. Unfortunately, seeing pictures of a man isn't much incentive when society is full of men who will gladly bare all.

Josephthelover thinks this is much more efficient then the cat-and-mouse games men and women normally play. No going to bars or night clubs, no chasing women around all day, no time wasted over coffee, no actual interaction...

In desperation, he had taken to putting his ad on telephone poles and bus shelters. When bus shelters yielded no results, Joseph moved down to homeless shelters, which actually yielded somewhat-impressive results.

During his short time on LiveJournal, he gained the attention of a few trolls and was not been afraid to call them "insecure men." His usual response to trolls is exactly what they want: caustic responses and insults. In contrast, he would leave a sweet comment asking a woman to "message me" even after she has told him she "would rather eat dog shit." This has become his trademark phrase.

He was very active on a number of other websites and dating sites, but only his LiveJournal profile had his "Are you a woman in need of a release?" post. Some other sites may link to his LJ bio, but most have a different profile page and do not have a direct ad.

[edit] Djna

The completely irrelevant history behind the faggotry between Djna and Josephthelover is currently unknown, due to sockpuppetry and more POV drama than Thodin's articles. However, according to popular belief, Djna seriously pwned Josephthelover when he left over a hundred messages on every post of his he could find. This started the whole Internet drama and went like this for over two months. At this point, Josephthelover declared open war against Djna.

Josephthelover, the world's second worse sock puppeteer - only slightly better than HRWiki Guy - launched a full scale attack against Djna. Using his unlimited disposable income and his Internet stalking skills, he managed to find out Djna's IP. With that amazing discovery, Josephthelover proceeded to create an ED article about the results of his e-stalking to gloat about it in a comment at Djna's LiveJournal using a cunning sock puppet. He claimed that he had successfully salted the Earth for Djna, hoping that he would have to delete his LiveJournal and leave the Internets forever.

However, Josephthelover's cunning plan was foiled by the dramacrats at ED, who ruined his whole life by pointing out his lame attacks against Djna. Professional trolls, Internet Detectives and just about everyone else that loves Internet drama is now pointing and laughing at this fucking idiot, who thought he could deceive veteran Internet Detectives and dramacrats. However, the Djna/Josephthelover drama is far from being over and Dramacrats can now enjoy the ad hominem attacks and the edit war.

[edit] Blackmail

 
“ 		 
No one believes me when I tell them my age. I still get carded daily
  		„
 

—Josephthelover

 
“ 		 
I generally prefer the company of myself or the person I am with. As I get older I am becoming more anti-social
  		„
 

—Josephthelover

 
“ 		 
I used to be a boxer. Not much competitively. Got a weak skull I guess. I knock myself out by just punching the bag. Also did kickboxing for awhile, but a far greater puncher/boxer.
  		„
 

—Josephthelover

 
“ 		 
I am always honest. I lack the ability to lie or hold in secrets. Something genetic I was born with. Don’t know if that is a good quality or a hindrance in my life.
  		„
 

—Josephthelover

 
“ 		 
I got a very good grasp on the English language.
  		„
 

—Josephthelover

 
“ 		 
I never exaggerated my penis size or bragged about it, but penis size doesnt not make a great lover
  		„
 

—Josephthelover

 
“ 		 
They need a man who will submit to them in the bedroom. Who will do anything to pleasure them, even going so far as sticking a tongue in her ass.
  		„
 

—Josephthelover

[edit] Imitators

He has inspired (or created) a number of imitators:

There is also an anti-josephthelover community, wehatejoseph.

[edit] Wikipedia

Joseph may love TOW but TOW does not love Joseph. Image:WikiJosephtheLover.PNG

[edit] Plz do not hates me

Upon hearing of this article's creation he did what any troll would do (cause he's a top troller of the best caliber) and begged for forgiveness. He immediately rushed to this article and began to cry over his Internet defaming of character, much to the dismay of anyone unfortunate enough to deal with him. Once he realized that tactic wouldn't be working he began to demand the removal of this article as it was totally unfair and sux and u guays are all mean,fuk u! ):< Josephthelover was then promptly reminded that noone cared for his attention whoring and wished him away. Josephthelover preceded to bitch at the Talk page until he was banned permanently.

[edit] Slander Synopsis

I'm just curious of something: if the journal has been deleted and purged and all the links are inactive is this article still relevant? This is the person behind that account and I've going around trying to clean up the mess from that profile and this is the only thing still remaining. anyway it could be deleted. Any help greatly appreciated - Josephthelover

  • Of course the article is still relevant. It has now been raised to the level of history, which is very important. Also, didn't we ban you already? Goodbye. --Jacknstock 13:17, 31 Jan 2006 (UTC)


how do i go about removing it then? really, the journal has been purged and there isn't any posts or active threads attached to that username. really, there's nothing funny to warrant an encyclopedia dramatica article anymore. I don't even have a livejournal account. - Josephthelover

  • What's funny to warrant an article is that you are an idiot. --Jacknstock 07:52, 11 Feb 2006 (UTC)
    • and you're a fat and hediously ugly woman who attempts to write emo journal entries about cutting herself and suicide attempts. pathetic, i'd kill myself too if i looked like that...yeah, i did some research. whats it going to take to get this article removed? - Josephthelover


Can I get some help here instead of messaging dreamhost the hosting provider?. Delete this article please! the "lolz" - or whatever terminology a pathetic fucking loser would use isn't here. no one cares, I'm not known in livejournal circles, in-fact, I don't even have an active live journal account. Any help greatly appreciated. - Josephthelover

  • If Amalea's harrasment of Dreamhost didn't work, what makes you think your requests will? Give up now before some really mean people catch wind of your repeated whinings.--Riboflavin 17:22, 6 April 2006 (UTC)
  • Please do contact Dreamhost. I'm sure they'd be happy with getting a complaint over a web site that they do not host. ~ ~ User:Krade hi yo~ 17:25, 6 April 2006 (UTC)
    • Well, I have my own special ways of persuading people. I'm petrified though, but not online much but only to try to get this article removed - it serves no purpose, I'm sure it gets no hits so please remove it. - Josephthelover
  • DreamHost Does Not Obey The Law!!!--Riboflavin 17:29, 6 April 2006 (UTC)
  • If it gets no hits, why do you want it to be removed? I'm not even going to block you right now, since you're such a great lol-cow. ~ User:Krade hi yo~ 17:33, 6 April 2006 (UTC)
  • This page has been accessed 2,710 times. --kh/ what 23:40, 6 April 2006 (UTC)
    • see above. Ban me, I'll just have to crack open the proxy. It's a matter of principal, seeing I deleted all traces of those journals and this is the only thing remaining. just delete it and you'll never hear from me again...anywhere online. please the article has been up for over a year, dummy. Only recently have I shown interest in having it removed. Are you sure about that? making a mockery or harassing one individual when there's no one to witness it except a couple other sad losers dosent deserve to be here. Please remove it- Josephthelover


Just letting you know the message has been sent out...I also forwarded that nice page about "deamhost dosen't obay the law" Today's job is now finding out all the places I can repot dreamhost to - Josephthelover

  • Sorry, lol-cow. If you read the disclaimer, and the article I linked, DreamHost is not responsible for whatever is said or done on this site.
  • Umh... Should I tell him that ED isn't hosted on Dreamhost once again? Nah, why ruin the fun. Please post the emails! ~ User:Krade hi yo~ 19:41, 7 April 2006 (UTC)
    • It isn't anymore? Woops. Oh well, more lmaonade, Krade?--Riboflavin 19:42, 7 April 2006 (UTC)


DreamHost whois server terms of service: http://whois.dreamhost.com/terms.html same hosting provider the fat and ugly pig known as sheerold delgrippo uses for all her sites Just delete it please, then you'll never hear from me again - Josephthelover

  • You're so hot when you whine like a little girl. Would you have any objection to wearing a raccoon suit on a date? --Foodlebunny 20:43, 7 April 2006 (UTC)
  • "I don't wanna hear/ I don't wanna know/ Please don't say you're sorry/ I've heard it all before, and I/ Can take care of myself/ I don't wanna hear/ I don't wanna know/ Please don't say forgive me/ I've seen it all before, and I/ Can't take it anymore/ You're not half the man you think you are/ Save your words because you've gone too far/ I've listened to all your lies and your stories/ You're not half the man you'd like to be."--Madonna "Sorry" --Riboflavin 20:49, 7 April 2006 (UTC)
  • What a funny little man. I bet you also have a small, cute cock. --Gayus 16:09, 8 April 2006 (UTC)
  • Your Internet Detective skills fail. Did you know Dreamhost is also a registrar? ~ User:Krade hi yo~ 16:53, 8 April 2006 (UTC)


This site solely exists to harass people huh? I cannot see the satire or what would be funny about that article or this discussion page. How pathetic does a person have to be to see any humour in harassing people online? My messages to dreamhost should pay off eventually. Also, I expanded it to "Raytheon" - I let them know what one of there employees do in their spare time. - Josephthelover

Please also note that harassment of someone involves some attempt to interact with them. We make fun of people, but we don't go to that person and interact with them via our articles, which are parody, and therefore given lots of legal room in the US. Anyone offended by what they see is invited, without malice, to change the channel. Or the current URL that their browser points at, followed by a single striking of the 'Enter' key. J3ph 42 17:17, 14 April 2006 (UTC)

    • Cool! Sherrod works for the company that invented the microwave and the Tomahawk missles!!!. Sorry lol-cow your milk is old and sour compared to what Dwarlinggirlxcore pumped out. From now on, it's just song lyric responses for you. "I've listened to all your lies and your stories/ You're not half the man you'd like to be."--Madonna "Sorry". --Riboflavin 17:16, 14 April 2006 (UTC)
      • We also do not use anyone's real name in our articles, let alone phone numbers or addresses. Something which our detractors frequently do since vague threats of physcial force or legal action are (in their tiny minds) the only ways to get what they want. J3ph 42 17:22, 14 April 2006 (UTC)

[edit] GUAYS I MEAN IT

 
“ 		 
I don't care if you harrass me or mock me! I just need the reference to that username gone, seriously. Can't you even just rename it to any of the other accounts listed? a simple resolution. That journal/username has been dead for over a year! and this is the only thing remaining. What difference would it make anyway? Simple, rename it to any of the other ones, make fun of me all you want...and you won't hear from me ever again. Deal? This is useless, i'm trying to talk to pathetic losers!. This is my last post here: if one of the administrators do decide to switch it, it would be appreciated! and I thank you in advance. if not, i'm just going to have to continue messaging dreamhost until they do something...and yeah, they do host it! it was even confirmed by them in one of the responses to a ticket I got stating that "it's under investigation"
  		„
 

—Josephthelover

Soon after Josephthelover declared a resounding e-victory and left forever until he returned.

[edit] Arbchat

<+j688> i just put it out. 1. it's stupid and isn't funny. 2. it crosses over into a persons life
<+j688> like i said it's still slanderious if you attach a username to a person in life
<+j688> well i presented the case...acticle isn't worthy of being online. it is crossing over into a persons personal life
<+j688> like i said someone attached that account to me personally and is using it to blackmail.slander me

<@Sheneequa> j688 honestly I can tell you a motion to remove the article will not carry. But you may be able to offer ED something in return
<+j688> anything
<+j688> that's how bad i need it removed
<@Sheneequa> j688 would you be willing to make an informative video on the Jews Did WTC fact
<@Sheneequa> I am totally serious
<+j688> article? write on out?
<+j688> that's retarded
<@Sheneequa> j688: video
<+j688> dont have a cam.
<@Sheneequa> 15 dollars to get a cam to make the vid
<@Sheneequa> or a 300 dollar donation
<@Sheneequa> if you are such a professional who is really in danger of losing his job then that is nothing

<+j688> deal was donation or video. the video is juvenile and retarded so i agreeded to donate
<@weev> but first
<@weev> j688:
<@weev> has to say
<@weev> exactly how much
<@Sheneequa> yeah donate 200 bucks
<@weev> he is going to pay
<RLJ> ok then it's two hundred
<BURK> exactly
<BURK> no jewingus out
<+j688> i can do 100 tonight if i see its removed. guaranteed
<@weev> deleted
<+j688> is this the resolution?
<@weev> arbchat is concluded

<@weev> where's the payment
<+j688> ok so it's staying like that?
<@weev> if the payment comes
<+j688> ok it's a deal
<@weev> wheres the cash?
<+j688> impossble to send cash immediatly. pay pal it is but i cannot find a palpal thing on ed anywhere
<+j688> http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Encyclopedia_Dramatica:Support_ED
<@weev> gluttony@gmail.com
<+j688> says just checks mailed
<@weev> i just deleted the articles
<@weev> theres my paypal address
<+j688> lol i said i would to the site not personas
<@weev> okay nevermind
<@weev> articles are going back up :D
<+j688> i dont like the way you do businesses
<@weev> too bad!
<+j688> deal was made and i'm going through with it
<@weev> no youre not
<+j688> i'll keep my word
<@weev> i specifically told you where the money was expected
<@weev> you did not make payment
<@weev> im forced to asusme you're a fucking liar

<@weev> now the deal is 250
<@weev> because you lied
<@weev> and didnt fucking pay
<+j688> deal was made. it was 100 to ed
<@weev> okay
<@weev> I AM ED
<@weev> and thus
<@weev> i will fucking ban you
<@weev> from my irc
<+j688> it's contractual. i'm a man of my word
<@Sheneequa> you are a man of ignorance
<+Phobos> your contract means shit, listen to weev or godie plz
<@Sheneequa> or selective stupidity
<@Sheneequa> I can't really tell
* j688 (j688@l0ld0ngs-74E5B1F4.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com) Quit ( User has been permanently banned from anonymuncule (pay up, faggot) )

[edit] Threads

[edit] Arbchat Logs

Joseph fagging up edirc

Retrieved from "http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Josephthelover"
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