Death Note
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
[edit] Plot
Death Note. Story by: Tsugumi Ohba (大場つぐみ) Manga by: Takeshi Obata (小幡健)
The plot is simple: Yagami Light (who is a girl), a typical prep-school jerk, god wannabe, and part-time man whore, finds a magic notebook (teh Death Note) that kills people simply by writing their name in said notebook. After finding the notebook, Light calls himself 'Kira' which is the engrish way Japanese people say "killer". Apparently, this manga series is very popular in Japan. The only reason the series has even lasted this long is due to Yaoi obsessed fangirls turning all the characters gay.
Sources say that Light Yagami is gay solely because Yagami spelled backwards reads Im a gay, and therefore MUST have something to do with his/her sexuality, and nothing to do with the fact that it means "Night God."
Sources also state that the retarded detective L (yes the letter L, very original parents) finds that it would be a brilliant idea to CHAIN himself to Light with the excuse that he needed to watch Light at all times. To prove that he is not Kira. Also L states, in the animu/manga, that he needs to keep a eye on him, even in the bathroom. Creepy? Perhaps.
Sum the plot up faster? Light is a emo freak who wants to become god of all animu characters and thinks that by using the Death Note he will reign supreme, even though he still lives with his mom. But first he has to get past insane Pedophile L who only wants to capture him and chain him to a bed post. Fun!
[edit] The Death Note
A person whose name is written in the Death Note accompanying a cause of death dies after six minutes 40 seconds. If there is no cause of death written, they die of a heart attack in 40 seconds. There's not much beyond that. He uses the book to kill criminals in order to create what he considers "the perfect world" and play God in it, thus achieving Hitler's unfinished work. Light made a mistake by writing his penis' name in the Death Note. Since he didn't write the cause of death it just died of a heart-attack.
Note: He's a fucktard.
Along with the notebook comes a Shinigami (死神 = Death God), the interracial mix of a Pokemon and a Tim Burton-esque mental perversion.
Light's shinigami companion is named Ryuk (Pronounced WRY-UK) which is of course a very retarded name. It is also the Japanese way of spelling Luke. He's also an invisible mansonite voyeur who's after Light's ass all day long (interpret it any way you want). He dropped his notebook near the scene of the emo kid's high school. When he was asked, he said "i did it for the lulz"; making every murder (including Ls) worth it.
If Freddy Krueger was called a "faggot" in Freddy vs. Jason for killing people in dream-time, what should we call Light for killing people with a fucking notebook?
Some people are so fucking retarded that they think this actually works. Then again, it might help if you don't bring your Death Note to school to show it off: Proof that Virginians are morons.
[edit] Characters
- Light Yagami: Light Yagami is the main antagonist of Death Note, and has a strong obsession with becoming a god. At first, no one wants him to be god because they realize his name spelled backwards is "Im a gay" and if America cant have a black guy for president, they arent gonna settle for a faggot. When he first meets L on his graduation day, he finds it awkward that a guy so hot and sexy is sitting next to him, so he immediately seizes the opportunity and starts hitting on him. Since L is goatse, he takes this as a come on "just as friends" and later gives him a foot message. After L realizes Light was actually gay, he fakes his own death, and goes on a vacation to Disney Land. Light then takes Misa as his girl friend to cover up his homosexuality.
- L: The creepy 25 year old schizo named after the letter L who is a smartass detective trying to capture Kira. Lacks socks like Einstein, because the Jew doesn't know how to tie his shoes. Also completely gay, proven by his S&M fetish and his surprise at being kissed by a girl (and, unlike Katy Perry, didn't like it.) The retard doesn't even know how to use a fucking cellphone. He has no friends and is a /v/irgin. His real name is L Lawliet.
- Mello and Near: After L dies, these two brats are chosen to take his place. Near is a fat fuck who probably eats his toys, his real name is Nate River, and Mello eats chocolate that doesn't affect his weight in any way because apparently, people who eat sweets don't get fat. All of the chocolate Mello eats goes straight to Near's thighs. Mello is always dressed in some sort of tight black leather outfit, which is his way of soliciting for gay sex. His real name is
Mihael KeehlMello Yellow, which is almost as queer as Lawliet. Near is also a pedophile. This is obvious because he keeps a picture of Mello at 14 on him at all times for four years, until Mello comes to retrieve it. Mello doesn't even dare question what that suspicious looking crusty white stain on the photo is.
- Matt: Dumbfuck and henchman of Mello. No one gives a fuck about him except millions of Gaia Online newfags who still think it's cool to cosplay on teh interwebz. He follows Mello around and plays video games while chain-smoking. He shows up for about
4 minutes4 seconds in the anime and then dies, yet he somehow has more fangirls than Mello and Near put together.
- Amane Misa: The slutty 16 year old faghag idol who wants to fuck Light until she dies. She's also another fucktard with a Death Note who would kill anyone if you wanted, and a camwhore to boot. Some argue that after Light dies, she herself dies of a broken heart.
- Matsuda: A n00b cop who is more useless than even Light's camwhore fake girlfriend and gay for Light's dad. Despite this, at the end of the series he proves he's more awesome than Light by busting a cap in his ass.
- Mikami: an e-lawyer and OCD fucktard who just wanted appreciation from Kira. In the last episode, he pwnt himself with a pen when he screws up Light's evil plan.
- Takada: A worthless cunt and former ex-girlfriend of Light's, who re-entered the story just so everyone could get a look at her udders. She was under the belief that she would be Light's queen. She later became an hero when Light made her set herself on fire for the lulz of watching marshmallows get roasted over her flaming corpse.
The climax of the story comes when Light pretends heterosexuality by reading hentai magazines. Also, he dates several women to deny his homosexuality to his Shinigami, his father, L and even to his girlfriend. Fucktard.
And OMG it was supposed to be a horror comic. Even goatse is scarier.
Natural as it may be, Death Note will become popular between American DeadJournal users, anyone wanting to start a flame war will get humongous amounts of potential lulz.
[edit] Examples of typical Death Note dialogue...
(In the OMGSOAWESOME!!!1111 fansubs, no less.)
L: Light-o...
Light: Ryuzaki...
L: Light-o...
Light: Ryuzaki...
L: ...
Light: Desu Nooto...
L: Japanese-y shit that only Animu fanbois would find interesting.
Light: Shinigami...
L: *falls to floor* Shinigami... *twitch*
Typical Brilliant Scene from the animu: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snOlQNRAYlo
Best dialog ever.
[edit] Death Note & Yaoi
As predictable, Death Note has spawned countless yaoi doujinshi, fanfictions, and fanart. The main duo featured is always LightxL or LxLight. Those are silly stories where they OMFG have anal sex like wabbits on heat and all that fucking jazz. There are also doujinshi with Light and other sideshows, like some nasty ones about the Shinigami's massive inhuman cock filling Light's ass. Sometimes mpreg is also featured; typically with Light being the one shoving a fetus out of his magical vagina.
Other popular Death Note Yaoi couples include Mello/Near and Matt/Mello. There are also many moar featuring the entire detective squad and Watari.
L's Foot fetish is pastede on yay
[edit] "Bound Prince": A RPG Video game
Last Thursday, a game entitled Bound Prince was released in Japan by a bunch of sick fuck fat fangirls who enjoy seeing L raping the fuck out of Light and eating donuts off his hard, 12 inch cock (I'm not making that up. Srsly). This is made all the more lulz worthy by the fact that L is obviously an autistic retard with the libido of a rock and the sexual aggression of a newborn kitten. Much lulz are to be had from the awesome dialogue in the game, which is fairly close to that in the animu, plus a few more grunts and orgasms.
[edit] JUST AS PLANNED
Like Naruto with his "BELIEVE IT!", and Nazis with their "HEIL HITLER", Death Note now has its own catchphrase.
| — Light |
Whenever a certain thread or argument comes up on 4Chan and Anonymous tricks some poor fucker, there will always be a picture of Light with an evil look on his face from one of the episodes (or manga) with the caption, "JUST AS PLANNED." Or, if things go wrong, there is always a shooped image of Light frowning and the words replaced with, "NOT AS PLANNED."
It has yet to become as famous as Longcat and be its own meme.
There is a part where some guy starts eliminating people, (though some may argue that he's deleting them) and the Japanese way of saying eliminate is "Sack a Jew".
- Death Note Online is the new website for fanboys
[edit] The Manga Murders (IRL Drama)
Last Thursday, three Belgian men discovered the legs and torso of an unidentified white man in a park in Brussels. The corpse was accompanied by two notes which both read the misspelled Japanese phrase "WATASHI WA KIRA DESS." Now you would probably say that the notes were planted by Wapanese medical students as a prank, but the police, and professors of the University of Brussels medicine department, rule out this option. Besides this, the genitals of the victim had been shaved, a detail pointing to the homoerotic nature of the Death Note Manga. Secondly, besides Japan, Belgium is the only country in the world where comic books for children are taken seriously. It is most likely that Death Note has spawned its first copycat killer.
| — Anime News Network, [1] |
The old media are already calling this "The Manga Murders," and if great justice still exists in the world, this should spark an anti-anime backlash even more hilarious than the one caused by the UK release of Legend of the Overfiend.
This was not the first manga-related murder in Belgium. A year earlier a young mangaka, named Anneke van der Stap, went missing. Her decomposed body was found a few weeks later in a dark alleyway. Instead of coming to the most logical conclusion, the Dutch media spread rumors about a lurid manga-underground, filled with crime and mayhem. We all know Japanimation attracts some sick fucks, so for the lulz, let's believe the gutter press.
[edit] Music
The music is also SUPER HARDCORE EPIC TASTICALE.
Maximum the Hormone wants you to BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWW!!!!
HAHA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCK
[edit] Debu Note, a fat emo's Death Note
[edit] Death Note: The Movie
In 2006 not one, but three Death Note movies were made. All Death Note fans think that this was the greatest movie ever made. There are many differences in the movie, for one Light has a girlfriend whom he only has to hide his inner faggot. Another one is that Light's dad is the loud Asian guy on Iron Chef (no rly look for yourself), therefore making him an expert chef, cooking gourmet meals by day fighting crime by night, I AM IRON CHEF. The plot is pretty much the same, except more white people and Ultraman is on the police force (he's the guy that stands in the back).
[edit] Definitely a Good Season for Potato Chips
[edit] Gallery
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Death Note is part of a series on Anime. |
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[edit] Rating
Action: 3, for all the retardedintellibabble from Light and especially L.
Lulz: 8 for some of the over the top shit, such as Light eating a potato chip, his girly-man batshit laugh at the end, and Mikami sacking a Jew now and again.
[edit] DEATH NOTE MEETS MY IMMORTAL
If you thought My Immortal was bad, please check out Neva Guna Give You Up L, the tale of a typical Mary Sue Sakura-Chan and a mysterious roommate named Raven...possibly Dementia Raven Way. Troll the fuck out of it, now.
For the story, please re-direct yourself here.
KIRA - teh cereal killer HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, THE STORY WAS BALEETED.
It was good while it lasted.
