If you haven't looked at ED:LULZ in a while, now is a great time to catch up.
KILL IT WITH FIRE
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
KILL IT WITH FIRE
is part of a series on
final solutions.
- Ban fucking everyone
- Buy a dog
- Complete rewrite
- Delete fucking everything
- Deleting your LiveJournal
- Deleting your Youtube Videos
- Done with ED
- Flounce
- Holocaust
- It was a social experiment
- KILL IT WITH FIRE
- Never drinking again
- Peter Jennings died, so I'm going to quit smoking
- Quitting IRC forever
- Ragequit
- Suicide (see also An Hero)
- Wikicide (Wikibreak)
- X FUCKING Y
Since time immemorial, man has used fire as an easy, effective tool for the disposal of unwanted things and, as they are certainly not excluded, unwanted people.
You can't really trace down the exact point in time when fire pwnage began, simply because it was invented over 9000 years ago by our spiritual forbearers.
In the world of Pokemon, Charizard is well known for pwning its enemies with fire. However since Pokemon is unfunny, fire can be pwned with water, which can be pwned with electricity, which can be pwned with ground, which can be pwned with grass, which can be pwned... WITH FIRE!
Contents |
[edit] It's Been Around Forever.
Killing with fire is one of the most far-reaching past-times of Old European and American Societies. Pretty much anyone who wasn't getting it, was dishing it out.
People who were killed with fire include:
- Jews (Lollercaust)
- Fags
- Niggas
- Japs (in their case nuclear fire)
- Fucktards
- Goths
- Emos
- NEDM
- Every convicted or confessed Harry Potter fueled witch from the Salem witch trials.
- Joan of Arc was burned alive because she was convicted of blasphemy. Proving once again that when you try to tell people about god, you should be killed with fire.
- Staypuff marshmallow man was burned to death by no less than four positron beams. His only crime? Being a fatty.
Fire made it gloriously easier to exterminate all those who needed to GTFO or those who were just blatantly doing it wrong.
[edit] Why Fire?
Well, it's quite simple; fire makes killing people lulzy. Nothing causes more lulz than watching a writhing swarm of mudkips die in a blaze of glory or seeing that Goth Bitch who claims to have majikal control over flames get what she had been asking for... and then burning her.
Hell, it also makes a good warning sign to others if you go ahead and burn them on your own property or wherever their kind aren't welcome. Nothing says "Stay off of my lawn, nigger!" like the smoldering corpse of his thieving brother.
[edit] Steps To Pwning Someone With Flames
- Pick your prey.
- If they do not appear fully flammable, douse them in a flammable substance.
- Light them ablaze with matches, a lighter or, most preferably, a flame thrower.
- Sit back and enjoy the show.
- ????
- Profit!
[edit] Gallery
 mudkip can also kill it with fire |
 Dont Forget Self Pwnage May Occur. |
 Furries can only be killed with fire. |
|
 Kill it with fire desu! |
 Silly flame thrower can't hurt kitty. |
 Nintendo fully sanctions fire as a means of killing it |
 As if you needed more motivation. |
[edit] See Also
 KILL IT WITH FIRE is part of a series on Dying Alone | Those Who Have Died Alone
Anna Nicole Smith | Arielle Newman | Charmaine Dragun | Chris Benoit | Codey Porter | Heath Ledger | Hitler | Lilo | Megan Meier | Mitchell Henderson | Otoya Yamaguchi | Ripper | Rudolph Zurick | Tyler Dumstorf Those Dying Alone Ahotwheelscar | Amy Winehouse | Anonymous Borg | Argent009 | Chuck M. | Epic fat guy | GoddessMillenia | Jimbo Wales | Joy Nash | Lecarick | Nullcherri | Pete Doherty | Sceptre | Snapesnogger Their Methods 4chan | AIDS | Anime | Booze | Dead Friend | DeviantART | Drugs | Fleshlight | Self-seclusion | IRC | Jenkem | LiveJournal | Lonely | MySpace | Plastic Crap | Prayer Beads | YouTube |
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