Mr. Saari

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Matti Saari
Personal Information
Nationality	Suomi
OL alias:	~~Wumpscut86~~
A.k.a.:	The Finnisher redux
An Heroism
Date:	23.9.2008 (Aged 22)
Location:	Kauhajoki Vocational
Died virgin:	Most probably - He looks like a Faggot!
The Deed
Inspieration:	Eric<3Dylan
Weaponry:	Walther P22
Shots fired:	???
Wounded:	1
Killed:	11
An Hero position:	7^th
Quote
(Borrowed)	"You will die next." "Whole life is pain"

Oh noes!

brb

Hai guise!

You're next overused meme!

MySpace

Sad to say,
there is an hero in this article.

Mr. Saari has done his part in promoting the recognition of Finland throughout the world.

This article is about the school shooter. For the Finnish porn star, see Henry Saari.

TEH FINNISHER II

Matti Juhani Saari, is was a 22-year-old Finn who became an hero and the new Finnish champion on September 23rd, 2008, beating Pekka Eric Auvinen's Finnish record from 2007. Matti Saari (codename: Wumpscut) shot at least 10 people at the School of Hospitality, a vocational college in Kauhajoki. Some old media first reported that he was still alive, but he managed to beat the game. He is considered to be the most famous Finn in over 9000 years, other than the Moomins.

Just like his idol Pekka Auvinen, he posted similar YouTube videos some days before. According to Finnish old media the local police had interrogated him on the nature of the videos just the day before but decided not to confiscate his weapon. JewTube deleted his videos a few hours after the shooting because people from a certain online community started viewing them.

He managed to get ten frags and three wounded, a new Finnish record! Original research showed that it was due to disappointment in the Olympics, unfortunately, school shooting is a national American Sport, not an Olympic sport. Some argue that Matti was inspired by two Finnish Olympic heroes, shooting medalists Satu Mäkelä-Nummela and Henri Häkkinen. Other old media reports states 11 casualties, putting Matti Saari on the 7th place on the all time leaderboards. Bonus points go out for trying to burn down the school.

1 YouTube profile
2 Internet dating
3 Evidence of being a retard
4 See Also
5 External Links
6 Gallery

[edit] YouTube profile

Like all modern an heroes, Matti had a YouTube profile. A few days before the shooting he uploaded some videos of him shooting. The police interrogated him because of that, but did nothing moar.


Wumpscut86
Joined: March 14, 2008
Last Sign In: 3 hours ago
Videos Watched: 3,774
Subscribers: 42
Channel Views: 66,410

Name: Mr. Saari
Age: 22
And suddenly there was war we didn't remember it
A long time forgotten there suddenly was war
And suddenly there was war our children are dead
Burnt in the ruins that were left by war

War

And suddenly there was war and the mothers they screamed
For revenge and reprisals for another war
And suddenly and suddenly
And suddenly there was war with spoiling and death
And you fight alone if there's another war

Whole life is war and whole life is pain
And you will fight alone in your personal war

War

This is war!
City: Kauhajoki
Country: Finland
Interests and Hobbies: Computers, guns, sex and beers.
Movies and Shows: Horror movies like Saw 1-3, The Grudge, The Shining etc.
Music: Eisbrecher, Scar Symmetry, Soilwork, :Wumpscut:, Gloria Morti, In Flames, Rammstein, Metallica, Kiuas, Turmion Kätilöt etc.

goodbye finland http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=d4b_1222170343

you will die next http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=33d_1222168770

Me and my Walther P22 Target http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=00d_1222165221

[edit] Internet dating

It seems like Matti Saari was trying to date online. He listed his interests as "computers" and drums. On his YouTube profile he listed computers, weapons, beer and sex as his interests.

Google translation of his online dating profile:

wumpscut86 - 22 years old, Male, hometown Erode
The man Offline - the last on-line mode, 23.08.2008 22:54
Profile Photos Guest Book
Heipä hey!
Please contact your profile

Length 172 cm
Weight 70 kg
Eye color blue
Hair: Brown
Bodily structure Normal
Children No Children
I want children I do not
Marital status Single
Sexual orientation Hetero Sexual
Occupation Student
Commuting Students
ANNUAL 0-10 000 €
Ethnicity Suomalainen
Astrological Sign: bullfighting
Province of South Ostrobothnia
City or county Howick


Heipä hey!

Hobbies
Shooting (Walther P22 Target <3), computers and drums.
Musical taste
Mostly heavier music I listen, but everything goes.
Cinemas
Horror of horror.
Dress Code
I do not follow fashion
Tenure
Alone
Pets
Cat

In an ideal partner
Female Sex
Age 16-25
Length 150-180 cm
Weight 50-85 kg
Children No Children
I want children I do not
Marital status Single
Sexual orientation Hetero Sexual
Province of South Ostrobothnia
City or county Howick

[edit] Evidence of being a retard

Last Thursday, the Finnish police have released a report titled "Mfxjhceuhbgrlxibdoongelnjnjngalsaaridgkfluxu" (the Finnish word for "Laboratory Analysis and Evidence of Mental Disorders in Mr. Saari"). In the report, Mr. Saari was deemed legally retard ed; the reasons cited were:

Mr. Saari liked "Saw"
Mr. Saari liked "Saw II"
Mr. Saari liked "Saw III"

The fact that Mr. Saari did not mention liking "Saw IV" or "Saw V" was not considered mitigating evidence, as those films were made after 2005, and no movies reach Finland until 5 years after they opened in American theaters.