Keith Olbermann

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DEMOTED LOL

MSNBC IS CHARGIN' UP THEIR LAZOR

A usual Olbermann day cream.

FGSFDS

Keith is a very professional anchor.

Keith Olberwinn is a liberal old media troll beloved by hipsters and hardcore partisan Democrats everywhere. He is the media's only bona fide angry, liberal terrorist-hugging journalist, and an established Pwner of conservative fear mongers and Satan worshippers. Howevar, by laughing at his own stunningly gay and unfunny jokes and blatantly endorsing all things liberal without criticism, and denouncing everything conservative without even looking into it, the word ~~'pundit'~~ 'cocksucking asshole' is moar fitting than 'journalist.' He also lieks to think he's hip and modern by using slang and working a few discreet internet memes into his blabber, usually referring to "the internet" as "teh internets". In his mind, this makes him rly cool, but IRL it just makes him look like a huge fag.

He currently hosts the only 'real' news show on TV that /b/tards will watch -Countdown with Keith Olbermann- on MSNBC. The show (and host) is almost exactly like the Colbert Report only it's supposed to be srys bidness.

Your Girlfriend also thinks he is a DILF

1 Drama
2 Keith Olbermann vs Lou Dobbs
3 Take my show...please
4 Keith Olbermann on Sarah Palin
5 Trolling Billo
6 Speshel Segments
7 Example of the Fail
8 External Links
9 See Also

[edit] Drama

It's SRS BZNS.

A typical moment on Countdown.

Keith is a major bringer of IRL drama (not for the lulz). One day in 1997, Keith Olbermann was chilling out in the ESPN studios sucking cock and hosting Sports Center. He hated ESPN, but noone gave a shit, so he had a mental breakdown and then he went to MSNBC and started a news show called Countdown to the End of the World with Keif Olbermann. Recently, he went temporarily insane and Rachel Maddow filled in for a few weeks. Then in a shocking turn of events she received her own show because she was so awesome and funny, taking over Dan Abrams' time slot. Nothing of value was lost.

Keith is awesome at consistently and accurately debunking every single thing that Bill O'Reilly says, no matter how insignificant, since no one else wants to. He is so obsessed with Bill O'Reilly (who he calls Billo The Clown) that makes sure to mention him on every episode of Countdown. He's also obsessed with the epic fail that is the Bush Administration. Keith Olbermann is a pretty cool guy. Eh talks shit to power and doesn't afraid of being "fair and balanced." Every Countdown ends with a reminder that it is the "day (x) since George Bush declared "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!" from the deck of an aircraft carrier in the Persian Gulf." He's also not shy about telling other people in his field to GTFO his ~~Internets~~ old media. After he discovered an Associated Press news reporter had 'mailed in' an unflattering description of Jesus Obama's epic and historic Sermon on the Mount, he gave him a stern rebuke and told him to GTFO and find another line of work.

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[edit] Keith Olbermann vs Lou Dobbs

“	Weeknights Lou Dubbs threatens illegal immigrants and on weekends he pays them to clean up after his daughter's horse.	„
— Keith on Lou Dobbs hypocrisy

Lou Dubbs Responds

“	Should I ever encounter Mr. Olbermann in a place where it's just the two of us to converse and discuss the issue, we will have a full and frank exchange of view points.	„
— Lou Dubbs threatening Keith Olbermann

[edit] Take my show...please

Last Thursday, Bill O'Reilly started an online poll to get Olbermann's show removed from MSNBC, because that's obviously how it's done. To show his support for his favorite pundit, Olbermann and the entire staff of his show signed the petition live on air. Soon after, the petition was removed.

[edit] Keith Olbermann on Sarah Palin

“	Sarah Palin is the illiterate peasant sidekick to a retired country gentleman who suddenly goes nuts, Sancho Panza.	„
— Keith on Sarah Palin

Is Sarah Palin Smarter Than A 3rd Grader?

“	The Vice President is not in charge of JACK Governor, let alone the Senate, and you are not smarter than a 3rd grader.	„
— Keith grading Sarah Palin

“	The Founding Fathers were NOT George W. Bush or Dick Cheney.	„
— Dumbfuckinstan's beginnings

[edit] Trolling Billo

Olbermann gets permabanned from The Luffa Factor and then Billo threatens to send his personal army to track down any Olbermann fan boys.

[edit] Speshel Segments

At the heart of the MSNBC comcast tower, buried within an electromagnetically sealed vault, crafted by Akashic monks harnessing pure essence of STFU and embedded in Kryptonite sits his liberal stick of +10 summoning, which he uses to converse with the great Quezacotl before the coming of Catnarok, in or about the time of the 2008 Election. Their published conversations are known to the rest of the world as "Speshel Comments". Speshel Comments is a segment on Countdown when Keith rants like an unsexed bastard for an entire ten minutes of airtime, proving again that he is batshit crazy. "Speshel Comments" is the quintessential tl;dr liberal butthurt blabber. Olbermann's patented "speshel comment" talk is specifically designed to make listeners pull their hand out of their ass and slap their collective forehead while he goes on and on about how much IRL is composed of fucking FAIL. Watching Olbermann speshel comment for prolonged periods of time has been known to cause dizziness, autism, homosexuality, goatse and hatred for all things Republican. When preparing to listen to a speshel comment, wear a poncho and brace yourself for a shitstorm of fire and shit coming at you from your television set almost as fast as the speed of light.

Keith goes BAWWW about Proposition 8

YOU WANT REPUBLICANS? OLBERMANN HAS REPUBLICANS.

Olbermann collects the heads of Republicans every week during the World's Worst Person in teh World harvest time, and hangs them at the MSNBC headquarters dinner mantle. If you are a Republican, Olbermann will fuck you up harder than Ice T at a Klan rally.

World's Worst Person in the World for October 22, 2008