Kevin Rudd
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Kevin Rudd, or Ruddkipz, is the leader of the Labor party is the Australian Prime Minister. John Howard, the Bush-worshiping former Prime Minister of Australia, is fully butthurt because he resoundingly lost the election1!!1 Mega parliamentary drama is going to become the future in the government as Johnny is become moar angry. China expert Ruddkipz is planning to allow massive immigration from Communist China to all temperate coastal areas of Australia, i.e. Melbourne-Brisbane, and Greater Perth.
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[edit] Ruddkipz has soem historyz
Ruddkipz was in the Labor Party since he was a teenager, when, according to his official biography, his family was evicted from their home (lulz), and they all had to sleep in a car for one night. He served as a diplomat in China for many years, where he became a total China-fag and learned to speak Mandarin. He developed a profound love for China and its communists. When he returned to Australia, Rudd, disappointed at the alarming lack of Chinese-influenced trannys, managed to get the job of Leader of Opposition, replacing Beazley who himself was replacing some guy named Latham.
[edit] Ruddkipz is Priem Minister
Rudd won the November 2007 election, and is nao the Australian Priem Minister! It caused drama to Liberal party voters and lulz to Labor party supporters. The first thing Rudd has promised to do is expand Australia's ties with China, increasing imports from China, encouraging immigration to Australia, and making it easier for Chinese corporations to do business in Australia. Kevin Rudd also wants to make faster Internets for Australia, because he knows that Australians need a Prime Minister with l337 CS skillz. Kevin Rudd promises that he will sign the Kyoto Accord Climate Agreement, as long as it permits an exemption for China. He is also proposing mandatory instruction in Chinese language skills for all Australian students. Ruddkipz is also hoping to introduce some of the late Chairman Mao's progressive policies on land re-distribution.
[edit] Views
Australia wasn't given much choice for the election, as Howard and Rudd had incredibly similar social views. He's opposed to gay marriage, like Howard, and they both attend Hillsong Church.
So as usual, Australia voted on non-political characteristics.
- Ruddkips has flowing Blond hairs
- Can speak teh Chinese.
- WORKING FAMILIES!!
Also, it is speculated that his opposition to Gay Marriage is a psychological reaction to unknowingly marrying a man as his wife.
Ironically, one of his cabinet members is an Asian lesbian.
For further views see John Howard.
[edit] Ruddkipz makez policy
Ruddkip belongs to the Labor Party, the ravenous, cock-thirsty communist shit passages that rule Australia with an iron fist. Their main policies involve punishing the wealthy, educated, hard working, middle class and lower class through a complex system of rape, retardedness and FAIL.
Although Laborites have historically displayed a superhuman ability to turn Australia from economic prosperity into a severe state of fecal decomposition, Australians, being the slow witted, self loathing Azns they are, continue to bring this rowdy bunch of socialist man breasts back in to government.
Some Major Kevin Durrp policies include:
- Exploiting Uranium reserves by selling to China in return for azn children and lulz.
- Spitefully taxing John Howard's favorite drink: The Vodka Cruiser. However, this also destroyed fun for pre-teen girls and twinks, placing the price of "alcopops" well out of range of the other Aussie alcoholic staples: VB, Goonbag and cock.
- Creating Fail.
- Speaking Mandarin at every possible occasion.
- Announcing Belinda Neil will become a primary school teacher.
- Also announcing the new 'no biting' rule in parliament (aka: the Belinda Neil Rule)
[edit] He will not turn gay!
On the Aussie TV show Rove Live, Kevin Rudd was asked: "Who would you turn gay for?" In other words, "who do you think is the sexiest man alive?" Rudd stammered and could not answer this simple question, as the possibilities swirled in his mind. "My wife Therese" he finally blurted out. Everyone laughed because his wife is a man.
He redeemed himself a few minutes later, however, when he bragged that despite looking like a nerd, he could definitely beat John Howard in a bar-room fight, because of the excellent kung fu skillz he learned in China.
[edit] Great YouTube campaigns of Kevin
[edit] Gallery
 Humorous politics/Dragonball caption. |
 How could he not win? Everyone lieks him. |
 Become One With Ze Ruddkipz. |
 Who wants sexy tiem? |
 Even Mr T Agrees Mr Rudd is gewd. |
 Proudly Leading You Into The Age Of Failz. |
 The opposition. |
 Vary angreh aftar losin. |
 Don't be surprised if something like this happens to John Howard. |
 This is his true passion. |
 @w@ |
 shi- |
 Congratulations your Ruddkipz has Evolved! |
 It's super effective! |
 Rudd is an ass! |
[edit] Links
