Kharmii
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
kharmii is a Christian/mormon/nazi/conservative. Deviantart. Furry. Idiotic troll with a superiority complex. Massive source of fail. According to one of her DA pages, she resides in some suburb of Chicago, which is a place with nothing but yuppies, soccer moms, mini-vans and white people. It lists some of her favorite music as Jeremy Camp, Skillet, Jars of Clay, Casting Crowns and Chris Tomlin, and favorite movies as Grizzly Man, Chronicles of Narnia and Harry Potter.
Let's see... Lives in a house in the suburbs, drives a mini-van, thinks it's better than you... Yep, it's a douchebag.
Just by saying the name 'Kharmii' in a post on the internet, it will come to troll the hell out of it like some kind of digital retarded Bloody Mary. The betting pool is now CLOSED because it has shown up on ED because of this article, with side bets CLOSED because it did edited instead of blanking it.
Contents |
[edit] The Legend
Kharmii has always been a quarrelsome and hot-headed little dickens who always has to get his way. In fact, people from Kharmii's home town feel that he has always been a dirty little bastard, ever since he was a kid, when he and his gang of bullies used to hang out by the tennis courts and harass the many hordes of victims who would be unfortunate enough to encounter them. We recently tracked down one of those battered souls and he had this to say:
- Billy: "Yeah, I remember Kharmii. I could just smell the pickled herring on his rancid breath when he used to threaten me. He and his gang, who called themselves The Rabid Squirrels, used to wait until I would get on the merry-go-round, then they'd spin me around as fast as they could and wouldn't let me off. I'd beg, 'PLEASE!! Let me off! I can't take it anymore!' When they would finally stop spinning me, I'd be so dizzy that I'd throw up all over the ground."
The only kids in town that were any match for Kharmii's bunch were David Hendrikson and his gang, The Screaming Budgies, who used to spread mayhem where ever they went. They were notorious for hanging out on main street and whipping ice-cream at passing cars. Yeah, they were real terrors. When the two rival gangs would happen to meet, Kharmii and Hendrikson would get right into each others faces and say, "Uh..um..uh..um..come on! What are you going to do? Huh. HUH!!" Sometimes one would shove the other, causing him to yell, "I'm gonna tell my dad!!" Then everyone would go "oooooooo...." because, according to Kharmii and Hendrikson's boasts, their dads were a couple of real bad-asses. Hendrikson's dad was supposedly a lumberjack and volunteer firefighter who once put out a fire by hoisting a grand piano full of water onto his shoulders, then throwing it through a second story window. Kharmii's dad was a bodybuilder and Olympic weightlifter who once helped out a broken down trucker by putting on a harness and pulling his semi to the nearest service station.
[edit] The Politics
Kharmii is a girl posing as a guy, but some people believe that he is really a guy posing as a girl who is posing as a guy. So most likely, Kharmii's a chick with a dick, so we'll refer to Kharmii as it from here on out.
Kharmii views itself as a conservative, believing the Rush is A+ comedy, Fox News is the truth, and Mitt Romney should be president. Whenever it runs into an opposing, usually liberal view [1], it tends to follow the right-wing handbook to the letter: Go nuts and blame the agenda. [2] The best way to deal with Kharmii during these tirades is to show it a picture of nigra Barack Obama, at which it will laugh hysterically, dance on a rainbow, then rip on the smooth-talking Magic Negro's candy coated gumdrop pie-in-the-sky speeches [3]. The only thing that would hurt its photosensitive eyes enough to have it hissing and slinking back into the darkness from whence it came would be for someone to lie and tell it that its artwork was beautiful. It doesn't like flatterers, ass-kissers and/or blatant liars.
Kharmii also seems to be a prime example of a double Tigerwolf Effect, where the people in a snark community respond to it in the same way (griping about it's art), while Kharmii tends to post the same incendiary stuff over and over and over and over again because it knows what works to get people all butthurt.
[edit] The Religion
Kharmii is a poor excuse for a Mormon. It thinks magic underpants are a pair of bloomers with a whoopee cushion sewn into the butt! Both Kharmii and its significant other call themselves Lutherans, which they believe is a sect of the Mormon Church, founded by the prophet Joseph Martin Luther Brigham Young Smith Jr. It believes that when it dies, it will become a god and magically fly to the planet Australia.
[edit] The "Art"
| Warning!: Do not look directly at the artwork. |
Kharmii uses pastels for its medium, which is right behind MS Paint and plagiarism as one of the last refuges of the unartistic. While its faces are sometimes decent and realistic, its poses look like they were put that way by Ray Charles in the middle of a seizure during an earthquake. In fact, Kharmii's art is so hideous that four out of five people will immediately projectile vomit onto their keyboards upon viewing it. Assume that anyone who likes Kharmii's art like your mom is schizophrenic or blind.
Much like anyone without any skills in their field, it has deemed herself worthy to critique other's work. [4] When met with the standard reaction to is anything it says, it resorts to drawing shitty furry retaliation art. [5],[6],[7] And it can never let it go. [8] EVAR. [9]. No, really, NEVER.[10]!
[edit] The Early Days
Kharmii started out as a lurker on elfwood where it sat back and enjoyed the shenanigans from lukadia and allcuishpa,
[edit] The Trolling
Kharmii refers to itself as a "professional troll", however when the commissioner of the Major League Trolling Association (MLTA) was asked about Kharmii, he was quoted as saying:
One of the reasons why Kharmii would never be accepted into the MLTA was because it's trolling style was too boring and overused. Another reason is because it hasn't been around much. Most trolls sit on the web 24/7 but Kharmii has a full time job and many outside interests, therefore it doesn't have a lot of time to spend on the web. It's trolling could be broken down into six simple steps:
- Post to a community with a vain and half-assed troll attempt at getting the members riled up. [18]
- When that fails, contiously copypasta stupid shit in the comments [19] and anywhere else which links to the post, [20] while ignoring all actual attempts at a valid discusion. [21]
- When that fails, repeat said copypasta, but include your internet posse [22] and any sockpuppets.[23]
- Repeat last two steps until banned. [24]
- Upon being banned, declare victory. [25] (Note: This victory is like fucking people until you get AIDS. Yeah, it's a win... but it still fails.)
- ????
- PROFIT!
- Go to another community, start over. [26]
Kharmii specializes in trolling the fantards. Nothing provides her with more LULZ than when a basement-dweller with an obsession with Yu-Gi-Oh slashfic (AKA: preteen boys having gay sex) calls a Christian person 'weird'. Nothing inspires her to troll more [27]. Did you know that Optimus Prime has a longer Wikipedia entry than all of the US presidents and other world leaders? Kharmii thinks internet culture is kind of like grunge music, an outlet losers use to feel special and to romanticize their loserdom. After all, isn't it all about the status quo? When Kharmii deals out a burn, the masses of asses are quick to jump in and tell her how she fail fail fails [28]! -Because if the collective crowd calls her a failure, they must be right. Right? Right guys!?! RIGHT!! (Show some group support on this one). <- Butthurt Kharmii edit
-But don't believe Kharmii is a hater like Fred_Phelps. Oh no, it cares DEEPLY for each and every one of you. Deeeeeeply! Isn't that why it cares enough to write a tl;dr essay trying to convince people to get a life?
Loser morality works together with the lust of power through the sensationalist media, which glorifies rapists and criminals of all kinds. I once watched the tail end of a retarded movie called Fast and Furious over at a friend's house. A cop let a guy go free, even though he spent many years stealing cars and repainting them to sell on the black market. Why? -Because the criminal was good at car-racing and the cop respected him for it! X-P My lowlife friends just ate that garbage up like $.39 cheeseburgers at McDonalds. I used to associate with people who would sit around on their worthless dead-asses all day, but they would often try to play up that they were great people, just because they wouldn't rat out a friend if the cops caught them with drugs. What honor. X-P Ho boy....to me a scumbag is a scumbag is a scumbag. There are no misunderstood monsters or honorable criminals or downtrodden leeches. I don't fall for the excuses people with low self-esteems like to make for why criminals are justified in breaking the law. A lot of people grew up poor. A lot of people live in bad neighborhoods and were abused by their parents. Not all of them grow up to be losers and law-breakers. We were all born equal in the eyes of God but it is the choices we make in life that determine our value as we grow. Criminals are dirt and I don't appreciate how society glorifies the 'monster heroes' the media shoves at us, whether it be a vampire on a fantasy site, a serial killer in a movie or a gangster in a sitcom (such as the Sopranos).
The Loser Mentality Catch-Phrase: Whenever I voice my complaints in public, the losers yell me down with their loser slogan Don't Judge Me! You have no right to judge me, they say. They have the right to judge me of course..... Whenever I say something outrageous and unpopular, such as 'Pitbull owners are generally gap-toothed lowlives' -or- 'Illegal immigrants shouldn't shit out five kids one after another before they even turn twenty, and then jump right on welfare to become a burden to the American people', the Loser Squad will jump down my throat, flame me or post about me on a mob-mentality website. There, the jury will talk about how much of a bad person I am, -or- how much my artwork sucks, -or- how the lines on the sides of my mouth make me look old -or- how bad of a Christian I am -or- how my love-interest from Australia is likely to be a con-man or serial-murderer.
Kharmii does have a pre-made apology letter for anyone who does offend it. [29] However, the mad lib version is here[30], and is much better to use. Or you can ask her about it's thoughts on yaoi. Works all the same.
[edit] Teh Future
Kharmii's rampage began with the Duggars and ended with the Duggars. On May 11th, 2008, Kharmii was banned from useless_facts for, get this: trolling.
[edit] Sockpuppet Kerfuffle
- Despite being a religious fanatic, Kharmii does indeed believe in evolution, meaning that it believes that the fag-hags on childfree are fat and ugly freaks who shouldn't breed anyway. Being the Christian conservative lone-ranger on useless_facts, Kharmii tried to evolve its sophisticated trolling style in such a way as to offend the widest range of people possible. Whenever someone would push their atheistic, liberal agenda [31], Kharmii would retaliate with a conservative biased posting guaranteed to get people all riled up [32]. One day, its Australian significant other countrymember decided to back it up in a posting where someone had made a personal attack against it for no reason. The article was later featured on sf_drama where its partner was accused of being a sockpuppet [33] because of how the individual had similiar interests to Kharmii. countrymember later had to build up the LJ user profile and create a few entries to become credible. Different rumours circulated and it took people a long while to figure out that Kharmii and its Aussie partner had a collaberative sockpuppet account, springyscrotum. Even lord_snot took him seriously and got majorly butthurt.
[edit] Facts about Kharmii
- Kharmii has an article in ED.
- David Hendrikson does not.
IN YOUR FACE, HENDRIKSON!!!
- At least 2 people who work at Gas City don't like Kharmii (see discussion).
- Kharmii's ass is made from the finest marble; 8 out of 10 Mormons believe that it will be reincarnated as a god. The other two Mormons are skeptical, due to the fact that Kharmii doesn't own any magical underpants.
- Kharmii's biggest fan is morpheus0013. Here is the proof.
[edit] Kharmii Quotes
Just repeat ad infinitum:
- "Heyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!"
- "U Big Silly"
- "Sillypants"
- "Why don't you turn off your computers and take your dog-children out for a walk?"
- "U Big Silly"
- "Sillypants"
- "A stretch-nuts like you has to have carpal tunnel syndrome of the wrists by now."
- "U Big Silly"
- "Sillypants"
- "(Variation of I'm rich and I'm beautiful and you're not.)"
- "U Big Silly"
- "Sillypants"
- "There's no such thing as the gay agenda, womens rights or comprehensive immigration reform, they all work towards the same goal....pushing the socialist agenda. U Big Sillypants."
[edit] Possible furry?
Kharmii says it's a "three-headed monster." and the heads are that of either a human, a wolf, or a wraith. [34] Also, it's a part of some furry comms, however, it says it's not a furry.
... You're part of the community, and you say you have three heads with one being a wolf's, yet you deny being a furry. Guess what? You're a closet furry! You may not dress up like a sports team mascot and dry hump other furries in a furpile, but that's only two steps away, U Big Silly!!
[edit] External Links
kharminkle A frinkle spin-off, because someone apparently has a lot of free time.
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Kharmii is part of a series on Trolls. |
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Kharmii is part of a series on Live Journal |
| Visit the LiveJournal Portal for complete coverage. |
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Kharmii is part of a series on DeviantART |
| Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage. |
