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Pedophilia

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This article is about Sick Fucks and anti-lulz. EVEN WORSE IT HAS NO DELICIOUS CP

A typical pedophile
A typical pedophile
An RPG game for pedophiles.
An RPG game for pedophiles.
"wut ru wearin?"
"wut ru wearin?"

Pedophilia is a thought disorder of as where the subject is sexually turned on by the damn fucking young (3 to 13 years old), but most of the people busted for pedophilia are busted as a first offense for going after 13-17, whereas the ones going after under 13 usually get away with it for a long time until they start to obsess over the infamous baby fuck. Pedophiles work within a similar system in which George Lucas copied for the jedis. There is an Master "a.k.a. deaddrop" (see nexopia) and an padawan, "a.k.a. republican". A first time offender going after a 17 year old and then caught by Chris Hanson might look normal. But a long-term a pedophile is typically an ungainly and unattractive male person possessing a bad shave, a look of southern inbreeding, and will play at home with children's toys. He may have had a light colored van with highly tinted windows, which he uses to kidnap and fuck the shit out of your children. If no van, then the long term pedophile is skilled at child grooming and will form a long-term attachment before molesting the child.

Imitating the disinformation campaign of the furries, organizations like NAMBLA and social movements like childlove exist to make kid-fucking (specifically boy-fucking) seem normal, and seek to make their vile practice totally legal. Organizations like Perverted-Justice, meanwhile, exist to hunt pedophile morons (or just general perverted dumbasses) down like dogs, get them arrested, and then post their personal information online for everyone to mock and throw flaming bags of dog crap at. However, a lot of the people who catch pedophiles IRL, are passive-aggressive sociopaths who pop chubbies at the opportunity to ruin flawed people's lives on television.

Some argue organizations like Perverted Justice are composed entirely of illiterate faggots with no sex-lives on a hate trip, claiming that they come across as even more stupid than the pedophiles they are trying to hunt. By making pedophilia even more taboo, they proudly claim to have actually increased the amount of pedophiles in America by over 9000 since 2001. However, the people who argue this are usually pedos themselves and like the owner of corrupted-justice.com, Scott Morrow (a diaper wearing faggot), they have little concept of the fact that pedophilia is already taboo. You can't get much more taboo than fucking children. It is not known how you force a pedophile underground further, although it's probably something to do with the self-pwnage of Perverted Justice 'victims'.

The stupider pedophiles are found in Internet chat rooms, Not4chan, and IRC under names like "bunnyHoney22," "Markos," "velocity7," "Foehammer95," "burntheprettyones," " or "fungirlL00k1ingforguyz." For the people who can actually use a computer, there are on-topic imageboards, hosting services and Gnutella, available on any darknet (including Freenet, Tor and I2P). In the words of Raptor Jesus: "Turn a stone and you shall... IS DAT SUM CP, FUKKEN SAVED" They also exist on LJ, targeting 16 year old girls and 13 year old boys. Various Pedophile Support Communities are found all over the internets. Notable pedophiles on LJ include michaelmichael.

Extensive scientific research has shown that, BTW, some kids are totally asking for it. However, everybody knows that this is a load of shit. Disregard that, I suck cocks.

Below is an example of a cultural phenomenon which has emerged in the past two decades, that of the almost-JB acting like non-JB which is weird even though they're obviously only attractive to sick fucks and other 11 year olds, so, yeah, confusion probably. If they stripped off, they'd be CP and you'd get fucking V&, sunshine. Contrary to popular belief, the behaviour below is not why girls on YouTube are victims of surprise sex but rather a manifestation of a change in media demographics and a slackening of parental controls on increasingly difficult to censor communication mediums. This has been emergent since the 1980s and is now reaching crisis point.

Of course, they could just be totally asking for it.

Contents

[edit] Foreign Pedophiles

In England and its colonies, where the main language isn't Spanglish, pedophiles are known as "pædophiles". "Pædophiles" successfully avoid capture, year after year, due to the difficulty of spelling this word correctly on legal paper work. Because it's so hard to spell, pediatricians in the UK are regularly mistaken as pedophiles and attacked by angry mobs; see this story.

The massive amount of taxpayer expense involved in these judiciary blunders is why the age of consent in those areas was lowered to 16.

Jew Tube video showing common Pedofailure in Australia


England now has a site dedicated to naming and shaming pædophiles; or, as they are more commonly known, "nonces". (Brit slang circa 1970).

GrnPhroggy lieks lil grrlz.
GrnPhroggy lieks lil grrlz.
Not surprisingly, the British establishment, seriously lacking in lulz, have attempted time and again to get the site closed.

Noncewatch is an offshoot of the website Redwatch, a "Hit List" database run by a conglomerate of mouthbreathing Aryan Nation fucktards that lists home addresses and other private information about the pinko commie scum of England (i.e., anyone who denies the supremacy of the white race, believes in evolution, or called them names in grammar school).

Despite the overwhelming evidence that the majority of pædophiles who target the same sex do not identify themselves as homosexual and have a history of exclusively heterosexual adult relationships, they often list run-of-the-mill faggots who have no connection with child pornography at all.

This is because "homosexuality is a chosen behavior instead of an 'orientation' as they claim, [and] it is only natural to assume that a sodomite will play out his perverted fantasy whenever he thinks he can get away with it" or whatever. The site is a decent lulground but like most hatesites it's entirely tl;dr. It's widely accepted that the maintainers of Noncewatch are closet pædophiles themselves who use the information they get to increase their jpeg collection (this is similar to known paedophile Rloxley's involvement with "Ethical Hackers Against Pedophiles").


A pro-pedo group attempted to make the little æ their logo in Jan 2005, but some other fellas (to which no one is sure whom) got it first. This caused much grumbling, but it was soon put to rest when they returned to fap-fap-fapping away at their Sears catalogs and KMart juniors ads.

In China, an eleven year old Japanese girl eased anti-Japanese tensions when she posed provocatively, showing off her F-cup sized breasts.

Sweden too is blessed with Pedophiles. Coelhilth just can't control his ultimate feelings for underage furrys.

[edit] "Good" Pedophiles

A typical YouTube pedophile's subscription list.
A typical YouTube pedophile's subscription list.
Not all pedophiles are batshit insane, and a few even gained acceptance at Something Awful up until early 2005 by being level-headed and distancing themselves from the child-fucking contingent.

They frequently mock themselves, and will point and laugh at other pedophiles who make them all look bad. Most notably, jameth and ashi_moto are A+. Baby bdsm The proverbial "Wicked Uncle Ernies" of the fandom.

Female Pedophiles (Reverse Pedophilia) are rare and delicious. These older women are absolutely hawt but most likely to be batshit insane.

  • First you must let them have sex with you.
  • Secondly, when she gets caught, make up a lie to get the court to believe you.
  • Thirdly, ????.
  • Finally, Guess.

[edit] To The People Jacking Off While Reading This

FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP!
FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP!
FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP!
FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP!
FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP!
FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP!
FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP!


[edit] Pedophile Statistics

  • 86-90% of pedophiles are males (yes, the rest are mostly females).
  • In almost all countries, if a pedo goes to a shrink, they get ratted out. Or beaten. Or raped. Or all three, not necessarily in that order.
  • 90-98% of child rapes/molestations are sexually motivated. The other 2% did it for the lulz.
  • Most (estimated 71%) child molestations are committed by whitey.
  • Most (estimated 71%) hamster molestations are committed by the LJ baby-raper.
  • Most child molestations that succeed (as opposed to the molestor getting busted) are people fucking their own family.
  • Oprah Winfrey was molested as a child, and denies how much she loved it. She only ever admits getting whet to the sight of her daddy's cock to Gail, her long-time lesbian lover. 97% of black women say they've had fantasies about Oprah and Gail licking each others' coinslots out.
  • Most pedophiles have NOT taken a seat for Chris Hanson!
  • Most pedophiles claim to hate pedophiles.
  • Approximately, 15% of pedophiles are wrestling promoters and might tell you to "bow down to the king" out of their own delusional superiority.
  • Many pedophiles live in their mommy's basement.
  • EVERY person who goes by the name Wolf that isn't goth or alternative is a closet pedophile. This is serious business.
  • Pedophiles love sex with cats.



A typical pedophile enjoying children's toys and talking to himself.
 
 
Ride 'em cowboy!!
 

 

[edit] Terms and Types

What Ephebophilies go after.
What Ephebophilies go after.

Nepiophilia/Infantophilia: Also known as baby fuck (IT'SSS AWWRIGHTTT!!!), these pedos fuck the shit out of babies for their plushy-textured vaginas. No one knows if this is even possible, as an infant's vagina would be probably really fucking hard to squeeze into.

Ephebophilia: Enjoys jailbait, plain and simple. Chris Hansen and Perverted-Justice target this type of person exclusively. NathanR and Brian Peppers were also busted for this.

Pederasty: Raping little boys is EDUCATIONAL!

Pedosexual: More of an excuse than an real orientation.

Childlove: Remember-It's a child's RIGHT to be fucked!

[edit] List of Alleged Confirmed Pedophiles

  • Dylan Thomas, aka Jon Schillaci, on America's Ten Most Wanted List...
Xenu lieks little children...
Xenu lieks little children...
Your average 13-year-old girl on IRC. This man was pwned by Denny's.
Your average 13-year-old girl on IRC. This man was pwned by Denny's.
Pedobear taught him well.
Pedobear taught him well.
Pedobear's illigitimate azn son, Pugalbear.
Pedobear's illigitimate azn son, Pugalbear.
The Penguin from Batman: world-renowned pedophile, hard at work.
The Penguin from Batman: world-renowned pedophile, hard at work.
unfortunately, NOT ALL PEDOS ARE AS OBVIOUS AS THIS
unfortunately, NOT ALL PEDOS ARE AS OBVIOUS AS THIS

[edit] Dylan Thomas

This just in: "Dylan Thomas," long-time webmaster of Boychat has been identified as America's Most Wanted's Top Ten Jon Schillaci, tracked down to his outlaw lair in Mexico, and arrested for abusing the 5-year old son of the family that befriended him upon his release from prison.

Feel the BAWWWWW: at www.boychat.org.

Boychat discusses

Doing Time: Twenty-five years of Prison Writing Scroll down to 267-9 for Mr. Shuh-LACK-ee's interesting and very poetic thoughts on Sam Manzie.

The chorus of pale Dutch Oompa-Loompas sings: OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DOO
I'VE GOT A ANOTHER PUZZLE FOR YOU
OOMPA LOOMPA, DOOMPADAH DEE
IF YOU ARE WISE YOU'LL LISTEN ME:

WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU DROOL OVER BOYS,
ACTING JUST LIKE THAT GREEK GOD WHO DESTROYS?

WHO GAVE YOU THE NERVE TO BEHAVE LIKE A PERV?
WHAT DO YOU MEN LIKE YOU DESERVE?

OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DAH!
IF YOU'RE NOT LUSTFUL YOU WILL GO FAR
YOU WILL LIVE IN HAPPINESS TOO
LIKE THE OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DO
DOOMPADEE DOO!

[edit] Pedo Beards

As if the pedo smile wasn't bad enough. Now you got to worry about beards!

[edit] Self Test


If you got excited while watching this, you are a pedophile.


Have a seat over there.

[edit] Gallery O' Pedos

[edit] Necessities


[edit] Fap-Worthy Lolitas & Dumb Ugly Kids Whose Own Fault It Is That They Got Raped

[edit] See Also

Notice the strange object the kid is holding.
Notice the strange object the kid is holding.
A stealth pedo about to molest a child.
A stealth pedo about to molest a child.

[edit] Counter-Pedos


[edit] Links

[edit] Pro-Pedo

[edit] Anti-Pedo

  • NOpedo.org. Help Rael save the children from the Pope!
  • Warriors for Innocence - the only thing that stands between evil and the innocent
  • Jack McClellan - a site that exposes pedophile Jack McClellan.
  • The Roots Of Pedophilia
  • http://www.perverted-justice.com/ Some of Perverted Justice's advice to parents: Despite the controversy of video game violence, video games are an easy way to occupy computer time. After all, if your child is playing a video game, they are not in chatrooms being groomed by predatory pedophiles. We at Perverted-Justice.com firmly believe that killing characters in virtual reality is 10,000 times healthier than being perved in real life. (Assuming your child isn't playing on Xbox Live or Playstation Network, that is...)
  • [1] - this guy has more jail bate then a elementary school!
  • /b/ trolls in teen chat rooms, usually baiting solicitors and then flashing fake FBI warning and IP tracking messages.
  • BI guide to pedophile symbols
  • Mission: MySpace, and internet humanitarians in general

[edit] Anti-Anti-Pedo

[edit] Helpful Documentary About Pedophiles


Image:Pedobear_small.gif Pedophilia is part of a series on Child Abuse.

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