Pedobear
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Contents |
SPURDO SPÄRDEE :------------------D
Pedobear or also Pædobear aka Roy Harms (not to be confused with Medved (translated version) is one of the more famous and long running 4chan memes. He actually originated from 2channel (2ちゃんねる, ni channeru, 2ch for short), Japanese Internet forum, where he was called Kuma (クマー), literally "Bear". Some argue the Japanese omitted the "Pedo-" prefix to avoid redundancy since most anything churned out in Japan is assumed to promote pedophilia.
While Kuma was generally lecherous, Pedobear became the mascot for 4chan's legion of knuckle-dragging pedophiles, targeting prepubescent girls, or "loli". Like King Leonidas and each subsequent wave of Lolcats, Pedobear is the subject of many bad photoshoppings, usually pasted into whatever piece of child pornography b-tards get their filthy paws on.
Pedobear has become so popular newfags and 12 year olds alike flock to /b/ under the impression that that they can find more "funny" Pedobear pictures. This is similar to the popularity brought on by the previously mentioned lolcats. Sadly some poorly informed Anonymous refer to him as Pedrobear believing that to be his real name.
ATTACKS ON PEDOBEAR
B& from Gaia
A recent update from the retarded developers of Gaia made it so you can no longer say or post Pedobear pics. This is because the developers are cowards and don't want to be raided by Anonymous (though of course making such a declaration increases the likelihood that Anonymous will raid). So to be sure they're protected, they're going to put up curtains, add an advanced security system, and put up phoneline trackers.
However, it is now known that Pedobear had infiltrated Gaia Online's servers some time ago. He can be seen by the sharp eyed to whistle innocently as he buys the little ones from vending machines and hits the forums with the intention of obtaining n00ds. See Gaia Online for more info. Pedobear is known to be secretely raeping Hannah Montana.
B& From Gamespot
In typical faggotry, Gamespot has banned any avatars with Pedobear in them, and warns the user. They claim it is offensive.
B& From Tinypic and Imageshack
Pedobear is also banned from both Tinypic and Imageshack.
B& from Photobucket
"Pedobear is a violation of terms. We do not allow images of Pedobear and we are actively removing all images containing Pedobear.
Sincerely,
Your Photobucket Support Team
B& from Energy Gaming
Pedobear is banned from Energy Gaming (subdomain) and is mentioned as a disturbing image.
Online Help Center: http://photobucket.com/tips.php FAQ's: http://photobucket.com/faq Support Forums: http://forums.photobucket.com Support Email: support@photobucket.com"
BANNED FROM DEVIANTART
TheShadowmistress, who is described by her friends as a RAGING LESBIAN, thought it would a good idea to directly attack the internet hate machine by claiming that anyone who gazed upon Pedobear was supporting child porn, rape, and Child Molesting. Y Ironically, shortly after this deviant-art site was found by anonymous, an entire month of posts went missing, minus her post saying that those who rallied to defend our beloved fictional furry child molester were uncivil and she was going to ignore us. /b/ and anonymous has been seen preparing to defend Pedobear against these accusations.
The Battle Begins
Shadowmistress posted a comment stating that Pedobear supported child pornography and that his image should be banned from Deviant-Art. Thus, memebers were enraged, and there was a massive battle of wits ultimatly ending in her hiding all comments she disliked, displeasing Anonymous.
On 15 November 2007, shadowy figures struck a mighty blow, though not even their heroic sallies of "UR TEH GHEY" or "Your a pedo" were able to stop her faggotry. No, she would not be content until she reported every single post of Pedo-bear.
The following day, 4chan struck again with slightly less force, but still enough to confuse deviantartlets wandering around the burnt-out wreckage of her Deviant gallery:
| — - chase24 |
| —- ~SOnicHerO100 |
'Tis truly a dark dark day for Pedobear; we have won the battle. Prepare for war. Recently there has been a rumor that Pedo-bear might actually be removed from Deviant-art. ONOES! Some Argue that this is a good thing. Most people disagree. However, there may be lulz if she is able to get Pedobear removed, since she is leaving The Internet permanently because her husband is returning from somewhere she is not clear about. Sources say that Anonymous has decided Not to raid DA, as if they are banning Memes It might result in less newfags. In reality it's because Anon is lazy. If Pedo-bear isn't allowed on DA, newfags will just post their art on the /b/ and /v/ instead.
Another random faggot
Another intelligent, sexy, and independant who basically said the same thing to someone he banned from his awesome chatroom was Morgan Miller, and was promptly hacked and permanently banned.
Possible Ancestry
Research shows Pedobear may be related to stealthy dinosaurs, linking to his ability to get teh delicious loli with craftiness kay? Or he uses teh intarwebs
Old media recognition
With the new animu striking TV's, we can at last see him starring in! It took a bit too long, but we made it! Pedobear sighting in Portland Or [2] as people are butthurt over Pedobear being used to advertise a costume sale.
 Pedobear as animu |
 The joy of teh... |
 Pedobear approves! |
 Pedobear is fast. |
 Pedobear in the award winning game Spore |
 Pedobear in Pat Buchanan article |
Pedobear Hits Vancouver
In February 2008, a Polish newspaper reported[3] that one of the mascots for the Vancouver Winter Olympics was, in fact, Pedobear. Historians believe that this is the greatest lolocaust since a certain champion of the lulz decided to have a barbeque with die juden and proves the universally recognized point that Polish people are fucking stupid and should've been wiped about by Hitler years ago. HEIL!
Crass Commercialism
The Plush Doll
Pedobear has the distinction of being one of the first Internet memes to ascend to the level of a plush doll available for online purchase. SRSLY. Purchases presumably boost ad-revenue for ED. The truth of what's to come, however, is pretty obvious.
The dolls will be purchased mostly by pedophiles to lure little kids into their van.
For those keeping score:
WINNERS
- ED - Ad revenue from sales
- PedoBearPlush.com - direct revenue from sale of dolls
- Pedophiles - will help molest moar children
- Chris Hansen - increased child sex crimes is good for business
- You - Resultant fallout will provide steady stream of Lulz which you'll hear about from ED.
- ???
- PROFIT
That's right. Another way to accrue pr0fit has been discovered and its based on little kids being molested.
LOSERS
- Little kids - Gonna Be Raped
- Your soul - deriving entertainment tertiarily from child sex abuse is no way to win points with the boss, unless you pray to Satan. In which case Kudos!
The Nintendo DS Video Game
Coming soon!
The Pedobear Robot
A few of his favorite things…
Pedobear's favorite songs  | Pedobear's favorite videos  |
- Oingo Boingo- "Little Girls" - "I love little girls..."
- Oingo Boingo - "Nothing to Fear" - "Hey little girl won't you come this way, Wont you let me buy you candy, or perhaps a chocolate shake, Or perhaps some nice cocaine, or perhaps a little kiss, Or perhaps a ride in my big car, Perhaps a ride in my big car, Wont you make an old man happy, Won't you make an old man happy, Wont you let me show you paradise(dont ask your mother for advice)"
- The album cover of "Virgin Killer" by
Scorched PenisScorpions - Steely Dan - "Everyone's Gone to the Movies" - "Kids if you want some fun, See what you never have seen, Take off your cheaters and sit right down, Start the projection machine"
- The Doors - "Alabama Song (Whisky Bar)" - "Well show me the way, to the next little girl... Oh don't ask why"
- Bruce Springsteen - "I'm On Fire" - "Hey little girl is your daddy home, did he go away and leave you all alone? I got a bad desire, oh oh oh I'm on fire"
- Benny Mardones - "Into the Night" - "She's just 16 years old, Leave her alone they said......If I could fly I'd pick you up, and take you into the night"
- Steppenwolf - "Magic Carpet Ride" - "Well, you don't know what we can find, Why don't you come with me little girl, On a magic carpet ride."
- Grateful Dead - "Good Morning Little Schoolgirl" - "Good morning little schoolgirl, Can I come home with you? Tell your mama and your papa, I'm a little schoolboy too."
- Depeche Mode - "A Question of Time" - "I've got to get to you first, before they do, it's just a question of time, before they lay their hands on you, and make you just like the rest, I've got to get to you first, it's just a question of time... well now you're only fifteen, and you look good, I'll take you under my wing, somebody should"
- Eminem - "Guilty Conscience (Acappella)" - "Yo, look at her bush. Does it got hair? (uhuh) Fuck this bitch right on that spot there.'Till she passes out she forgot how she got their.(Man, ain't you ever seen that one movie Kids?) No, but I seen the porno thats on nubiest!(Shit, you wanna get hauled off to jail?)Fuck that, hit that shit raw dawg and bail."
- Simon and Garfunkel - "Baby Driver" - "Theres no one home, were all alone, Oh come to my room and play, Yes we can play! I'm not talking about your pigtails, But I'm talking bout your sex appeal..." Yeah, really.
- U2 - "Babyface" - "Babyface, Babyface Slow down child, let me untie your lace...Bitter-sweet girl, won't you give me a taste..."
- Marilyn Manson - "Wrapped in Plastic" - "Daddy tells the daughter While mommy's sleeping at night To wash away sin you must take off your skin The righteous father wears the yellowest grin"
- Faith No More - "Edge of the World" - "Hey, little girl, Would you like some candy?.. Come sit right down, Lay your head on my shoulder, It's not the point, That I'm forty years older.. Give me a smile, Let me see those pearlies, I'll do anything, For the little girlies"
- The Knack - "My Sharona" - "Never gonna stop, give it up. Such a dirty mind. Always get it up for the touch of the younger kind."
- Scala Girls Choir - "I Touch Myself"
- Spinal Tap - "Tonight I'm Gonna Rock You Tonight - "You're sweet but you're just four feet and you still got your baby teeth, you're too young and I'm too well hung"
- Ozzy Osbourne - "Mr. Tinkertrain" - "Would you like some sweeties little girl? Come a little closer... I'm gonna show you a brand new world tonight! I've got a palace full of fantasy, ready made just for you and me. Once you're there I'm gonna take you for a ride..."
- Vehicle - "The Ides of March" - "Hey, well I'm the friendly stranger in the black sedan oh won't you hop inside my car? I got pictures, got candy, I am a lovable man, I'd like to take you to the nearest star. I'm your vehicle baby, I'll take you anywhere you wanna go. I'm your vehicle woman, By now I'm sure you know that I love ya (love you) need ya (need you) I want to, got to have you child Great God in heaven, you know I love you"
- Alan Price - Simon Smith and his Amazing Dancing Bear (a.k.a. when Pedobear turns into a faggot)
- Cher - "Gypsies, Tramps & Thieves" - "I picked up a boy just south of mobile, Gave him a ride, filled him with a hot meal, I was thirteen, he was thirty-one"
- Shawn Colvin - "Suicide Alley" - "Sitting naked by the window in the middle of the night, I can see you wearing your halo, If only in the daybreak of the dirty streetlight, I know baby wasn't born to follow."
- Stone Temple Pilots - "Sex Type Thing" -
- Tool - Maynard's Dick "Would you like to climb on, Climb on my six inches and go down on Maynard's dick"
- Tool - Third Eye "Came out to watch you play. Why are you running away? ... On my back and tumbling, Down that hole and back again ... in.. out.. in.. out.."
- Tool - "Prison Sex" "(little girl:) I was so young and vestal then, you know it hurt me...I've got my hands bound, my head down, my eyes closed, and my throat wide open. (Pedobear:)My lamb and martyr, you look so precious. Won't you come a bit closer, close enough so I can smell you. I need you to feel this, I can't stand to burn too long. Released in this sodomy. For one sweet moment I am whole...Got your hands bound, your head down, your eyes closed. You look so precious now. I have found some kind of temporary sanity in this shit blood and cum on my hands."
- Guns 'n' Roses - "Sweet Child O' Mine" -
- Winger - "Seventeen" -
- Michael Jackson's Thriller - I mean, we all know what thrills him. Amirite?
- Deadsy - "Itsy Bitsy Titsy Girl" - "Oh, itsy bitsy titsy girl, where are you? Oh, itsy bitsy titsy said our love was true. Oh, my itsy bitsy titsy, so young and so unused. Now, itsy bitsy titsy plays a mean hop-scotch. As she does her little ditty, I can stare at her crotch. Oh, my itsy bitsy titsy, little queen of double dutch..."
- Marylin Manson - Smells Like Children - particularly 'Everlasting Cocksucker' (cake and sodomy) and 'Abuse Part 2'.
- The Police - Don't Stand So Close to Me
- Mother of Invention - "Motherly Love" - "Send us up some little groupies and we'll take their hands and rock 'em till they sweat and cry."
- Heart - "Magic Man" - A little more subtle, but is clearly about a woman remembering losing her virginity to a much older man ("Come on home, girl he said with a smile, I cast my spell of love on you a woman from a child")
- Led Zeppelin - "The Ocean" - "Now I'm singing all my songs to the girl who won my heart. She is only three years old and it's a real fine way to start."
- Aerosmith - "Deuces Are Wild" - "I been lovin' you since you was a child girl, Cause you an' me is two of a kind"
- All American Rejects - "I Wanna" - "I wanna, I wanna, I wanna touch you, You wanna touch me too, Everyday but all I have is time, Our love's the perfect crime."
- Hour of 13 - "Missing Girl" - I see her walking all alone / On her way between her school and home / I see her as she passes by / Now I have the chance I´ll make her mine
- Gary Puckett and the Union Gap - "Young Girl" "Young girl, get out of my mind. My love for you is way out of line. Better run girl, you're much too young girl. - With all the charms of a woman, you've kept the secret of your youth. You led me to believe you're old enough to give me love and now it hurts to know the truth. - Beneath your perfume and make-up, you're just a baby in disguise, and though you know that it is wrong to be alone with me that come on look is in your eyes. - So hurry home to your mama, I'm sure she wonders where you are. Get out of here before I have the time to change my mind, 'cause I'm afraid we'll go too far" (See also: Bob Saget on Full House)
- - Oingo Boingo - "Little Girls"
- Alexandru Bognibov - "I Love The Girls" - "I love the girls of thirteen years old, Thirteen years old and nothing else, me baby"
- Mustard Plug - Lolita - "Lolita, I wanna meet ya, I wanna take you in my arms and squeeze ya"
- Three Six Mafia - "Loli Loli" - "Loli, loli, loli, loli, let me see you park that body."
- Toy-Box - "Wizard of Oz" - "I am searching for the magic land. Follow me, my girl. (Okay.) Do you have to touch me with your magic hands? It's part of the ritual. (Hey, hands off, Mister!)"
- Marcy Playground - "Sex and Candy" - What, you need any moar of an explanation?!
- Bloodhound Gang - "The Bad Touch" - Pedobear ain't nothin' but a mammal.
- Jethro Tull - Aqualung - Sitting on the park bench, eyeing little girls with bad intent.. Watching as the frilly panties run. (I have a painting of the titular character on my wall that my aunt painted in 1972.)
- Rooney - "Daisy Duke" You're too young for me but I can keep a secret. I'm in total control of the situation. Bow down daisy duke.. I'm sorry for cuffing you to my bathtub.
- Dr. Hook & The Medicine Band - "Only Sixteen" She was only sixteen, only sixteen. But I loved her so.
- Ringo Starr - "You're Sixteen" You're sixteen, you're beautiful and you're mine. CARRIE FISHER IS IN THIS VIDEO! FAP Fanboys FAP!
- Rush - "Digital Man" - He's got a force field and a flexible plan, he's got a date with fate in a black sedan, he plays fast forward just as long as he can, but he don't need a bed, he's a digital man.
- Steely Dan - "Everyone's Gone To The Movies" - Kids if you want some fun, Mr. LaPage is your man. He's always laughing, having some fun, showing films in his den. Come on, come on. Soon you will be 18, I think you know what I mean. Don't tell your mama, your daddy or mama, they'll never know where you been. Everyone's gone to the movies, now were alone at last.
- Sting - "Don't Stand So Close To Me" - Inside her, there's longing. This girl's an open page. Book marking - she's so close now. This girl is half his age.
- Throw Me The Statue - "Lolita" - Do I need to explain?
- Yello - "Oh Yeah" - Watch and believe it.
- Chuck Berry - "Memphis Tennessee" - Chuck Berry likes the little girls.
- You know of moar. Please add them.
Videos
| Pedobear doing what he does best Pedobear tunes Pedobear on the big screen Pedobear in the Simpsons |
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Previous Video | Next Video |
Gallery
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See also
- One Piece - SAUCE!
- Pedopals
- Mark Foley
- John Mark Karr
- irish282
- Madeleine McCann
- Shotacat
- Valis77
- Young Tubers United
- Interpol Hunt SwirL-Face
- Gaia Online
- Peter Sotos
- Too old; DO NOT WANT!
- Andrew Erickson
- Uncle Anon
- Pope
- domo-kun pedobears enemy
- Plush Pedobear
- kidnapping
External Links
- Pedobear
- This man tried to turn his cat into a pedocat.
- Now, no forum (or child) is safe.
- Proceeds go towards ED and Lulz
- Large pedobear collection from the realtime mirror, regular update
- FINALLY! A PEDOBEAR CLUB!
- Al-Qaeda hiding behind Pedobear for British terror attacks!
- IRL Pedobear tries to molest girlscout
- Pedobear explained
- Pedobear's Appearance in Pokemon Emerald
- What is Love?-The Pedobear Edition
- Pedo Pedo Pedo Pedo Pedo Pedo Loli Loli
- Pedo Bear's SheezyArt page
- Pedo-pedo-pedo-pedo!
- Pedobear makes his presence on GodTube.
- If he knows what's good for him, he'll stay out of Maine.
- Pedobacteria
- Pedomouse
- Pedro's bear
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| Pedobear is part of a series on |
| Memes |
| Visit the Memes Portal for complete coverage. |
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Pedobear is part of a series on ED5 Pollfest Top 16. | ||
