Kuwaizair
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Kuwaizair
Colleen Prinssen, also known as Kuwaizair around the internetz and especially DeviantART is a grouchy, ill-natured, 26 going on 10 shit stick from New Jersey. She spends all of her waking free hours on the computer trolling the internet for clit-licking fans to add to her already dying collection. When she isn’t doing this, she is working her 65-hour a week job in a greenhouse, picking up fallen petals and licking the plants to keep them moist for $1.50 an hour. During the summer she works even more, to make sure the plants do not run dry of her slobber.
She is widely known and hated on various art sites and many members from the vastly growing website, DeviantART who visit the forums unfortunately know of Ku’s emo rants. Most of them are to do with the fact that she is not popular, doesn't have a boyfriend and has never been kissed in her life except by her mommy. Anyone who can read her self-loathing, whiny dramatic rants and not crack a smile should immediately be shipped off to St. Luke's, as there is clearly something wrong with their funny bone. Not to say her rants are not “beautiful,” since some people find beauty even in pictures of dog shit.
If you are wondering who the hell this Kuwaizair is, then you should take a quick trip to the DeviantART threads. Ku will undoubtedly be posting up some shit thread in the Complaints forum, or the Help With Life forum. There, you can behold the pure beauty of a bedraggled virgin on crack.
Her Drama Whoring
After acquiring a reading forensics (the BEST, if possible), you should take him or her to Ku’s DeviantART page to translate one of her awfully written rants. Even a 26 year old can have spelling so bad that it is near impossible to know that the hell she is going on about. However, looking closely, you will see that her rants actually do have a purpose.
Most of them are to do with furry artists or boyfriends (or lack thereof…) Ku seems to have a problem with people drawing canines, felines or any other mammal for that matter. Maybe this is because she doesn’t understand that not everyone’s forte is a badly drawn, anatomically impossible gryphon, dragon or dolphin with wires sticking out of its asshole.
She needs popularity, people!
Ku’s many adventures have led her to the pages of more popular artists than her to rant and bitch to them in public that they are clearly overrated because they have more fans than her. That they have not got a clue what art is because they are not the one with the highest Masters degree one can achieve. Of course, Ku received one of these prestigious awards many years ago; she just went back to art school because she likes it there. Ku claims to be an art guru and knows all there is to know about art in the traditional and modern world. This art goddess or god (please verify gender yourself) believes herself to be the top Buddha of all online art websites and strives for mediocrity excellence in all that she draws. To her, drawing animals is not an art, cel shading is not an art, anything that is not realism is definitely not an art. Of course, having a ‘Masters’ degree she must know what she is on about, mustn’t she? We'd rather see a web comic about talking wolves from a high school dropout.
Online, she has stalked many an artist, writing journals and comments that would make even the most dramatic internet whore blush. She lies through her teeth to make these other artists look bad even slating one of them for saying that they were guaranteed a place at Disney. The stink of it all! She drips jealousy around the internetz and cries to her fans to ‘love her’ and continuously acts like a retard without their medicine to make herself look ‘cute.’ This, however, has always proven itself ineffective. To any DeviantARTlets, if you have more page views, watchers, or fans than her, you are clearly overrated. She will flame your ass and will inevitably make your internet life a living hell.
Is beauty REALLY only skin deep??
Another topic of rants is her looks. Whereas all women have a right to be ugly, Ku has abused this right and has taken it one step too far. She is also a cam whore, taking pictures of herself, posting them all over the internetz and making anyone who sees them suffer.
In fact, one of the main reasons she gets no page views a day is because she has not one, but TWO hideous images of herself on her front page to greet any sickened member who in turn will never visit the page again so long as she has the images up.
Of course, Ku never rants about something without bitching to others who don’t give two shits about her. After ranting for the 47th time that she was ugly, she found a popular artist who was fortunate enough to be beautiful. Ku flamed this person for loving herself and claimed that unless you look like a burn victim (in her spelling: 'Buren Vicetim') you are clearly a slut. Due to the sheer number of fans this artist had, Ku’s page was under fire throughout the long night, and into the next day until the lazy admins of DeviantART could be arsed cleaning up the mess she had caused and wiping her page of all inappropriate comments.
She will listen to anything as long as it has praise
After one of Elfzilla's friends was annoyed by this fucktard, Elfzilla logged onto AIM just to see how much ass kissing Ku will take before she leaves. AIM user ToiletMonkey17 is Elfzilla.
ToiletMonkey17: But I love your art and want to keep praising you! Alphagriff3: yu can praise me on deviant art as is slumber ToiletMonkey17: I will write an ode just for you. NO. NOW. ToiletMonkey17: OR I KILL MYSELF. ToiletMonkey17: Will you have sex with me and batgirl? ToiletMonkey17: We are very gentle. ToiletMonkey17: FUCKING LISTEN TOO ME! I LOVE YOU! I WANT TO MARRY YOU! ToiletMonkey17: COME BACK! WAAAAAH! Alphagriff3: no Alphagriff3: i wont have a threesom with batgirl and you ToiletMonkey17: Why not? We want to shove your drawings in our vaginas. Alphagriff3: i likr prettyboy guys and plan to catch one some day in a net and turn him into a lapdog ToiletMonkey17: Have you ever fucked a dog? It hurts your ass. Their cum stings if you get it in your eye. Alphagriff3: so i hear' Alphagriff3: some turkish guy suggested it ToiletMonkey17: German people are kinky. Alphagriff3: o ToiletMonkey17: Germish people are from Turkey, right? ToiletMonkey17: I love your artwork. Alphagriff3: lol germish ToiletMonkey17: What? Alphagriff3: you are scaring me ToiletMonkey17: I'm sorry! I JUST LVOE YOU. U R MY FRIEND! Alphagriff3: ok, then try not to be so disturbing ToiletMonkey17: Don't tell me what to do. I love your art. Alphagriff3: ok ToiletMonkey17: Thank you. I love how you ink. It's so great. Alphagriff3: ink is fun Alphagriff3: and sharpies make good art tool ToiletMonkey17: Your inking gives so much dimension and emotion. It's beautiful. Like DaVinci. Alphagriff3: oh i wond go that far ToiletMonkey17: You're better than DaVinci. ToiletMonkey17: He is ass compared to you. ToiletMonkey17: WHY AREN'T U TALKING TJ MEEEEEEEEEEE? ToiletMonkey17: I LOOOOVE YOOOOOOOOU Alphagriff3: becausr the thing Alphagriff3: of person Alphagriff3: batgirl im talking to also ToiletMonkey17: NO. ONLY TALK TO ME. YOUR BEST FRIEND. Alphagriff3: so goodlookgoodluckgoodnitegoodby and candy ToiletMonkey17: I love your art. ToiletMonkey17: STAAAAAAAY Alphagriff3: lololollolo *laughinsidesilently* ToiletMonkey17: I LOVE YOUR ARTWORK! Alphagriff3: i learn my lession Alphagriff3: but it would be more fun to have public admiration Alphagriff3: and a fanclub ToiletMonkey17: So...do you still want fans drooling all over you, fucktard? ToiletMonkey17: I thought not. Enjoy, retard. Alphagriff3: only if they do it publicly ToiletMonkey17: You're exhausting me. Alphagriff3: same here Alphagriff3: im still not going to have sex with you ToiletMonkey17: Stop stealing artwork, please. Alphagriff3: i dint steal anything ToiletMonkey17: Don't you realise that I was fucking with you? Everytime I screamed "I love you!" you lapped it up like a virgin getting her first blowjob. Christ. Alphagriff3: waht you are pearl phoneix bitch now. of course i knew you were ficking with me Alphagriff3: thats the first thing I said. ok so it was dicking ToiletMonkey17: *Grins and bats eyes* ToiletMonkey17: Enjoy, fucktard. Alphagriff3: from the very first line i knew you were trolling ToiletMonkey17: And you ate it up because "I looove you". Alphagriff3: 'i was confussed and distrbued ToiletMonkey17: Mmhmm. Toodles. Please kill yourself instead of inflicting us with your shitty art.
Disney Doggies, and Canine Artists alike!
Ku has many topics of anger just waiting to be brought publicly. But perhaps one of the best is the ever growing fandom of the Canine Artist. Ku hates these bitches and flames them until they finally block her from their page. Because of this, you will be hard pressed to find a more blocked person on DeviantART. Ku’s bitchiness has earned her a bad reputation within the tight circle of doggy artist friends, but with people like Kay, VK and the rest, who can blame her for trolling them. Each and every one of them hate her ugly ass. Her drama whoring and nastiness has even led her to be subject to critical flaming after remarking to a canine artist that her cat could draw better than her, even though the image she was talking about was a tribute to the girl's mother, which was crap anyway. The lazy admins at DeviantART were once again dragged out of bed by Ku’s cries to get rid of the god awful spam on her user page, left by fans of the artist in question. Ku has also taken to the deviantART forums to write countless posts and threads about how ‘Diz-knee’ dog artists should be banned from deviantART, and ass raped. Nice.
Ku hates hypocritical people. She has shown this in more than one dramatic rant that she has displayed to the public. So imagine her tiny fantard base's surprise when she makes not one, but TWO accounts to upload her furry shit to. Even after doing this, she STILL claims the furry fandom is a load of crap and it will wither and die away. Someone here seems to be very confused.
She opens commissions!
Not long after this, she notes that after being online for four months; her furry account has pulled in the whole 9 pageviews. Excitedly, she writes up a journal begging for people to commission her , seeing as she’s ‘a furry artist, people lov me! ^o^’ our Ku does not accept anything under $50. Her prices are as follows:
- One photoshop pic: $80/ a silk scarf/ or an expensive book.
- A shittily made plushie: $100
- She also makes ‘original characters’ with limited rights for $20,000.
- Add an extra $80,000 for full rights.
She also claims that her art will get you billions.
HOWEVER, she offered 10% discounts to anyone who could get her a suitable boyfriend. Mr. prisoner not good enough for you, Ms. Prinsen?
Her excuse for opening commissions? The house was rotting away, both cars were stolen, she needs second hand art supplies, and her therapist needed paying. Unfortunately her offer of sex was too much for him to even consider.
Evanescence
She is not alone, however. Ku also has a bitch named Aubrey Osiris who goes under the alias Evanescence. 21 going on 3, Ev’s best hobby is nothing more than masturbating her whore pal, Kuwaizair all over the internetz. When Kuwaizair fucks up and flames a REAL artist, the artist will sometimes flame her back. Cue Evanescence coming and flaming this artist for being immature and mean towards her beloved Ku, thus creating a never ending circle of hell and drama.
Oh yes, where there is smoke, there is a fire and our Ev will always be there with her brown nose surgically stuck to Ku’s asshole to agree with everything this psycho says or does. When quizzed about her name, Ev will begin to scream and cry the word 'evanescence' is HER word and was the first word she ever said as a baby. Therefore she is in the perfect position to legally sue the band for stealing her well thought up word.
Don’t criticize her!
One big thing to remember if you are going to give Ku constructive criticism is …don’t do it. Attempting to help Ku improve on her shitty, second-rate art results in severe butthurt on Ku's end. When one unfortunate DeviantARTlet tried to help Ku improve her terribly structured wings, they received a reply that not only pissed them off, but pissed off their sister as well.
Ku’s reply was: “This is a doodle, your sister cannot draw wings for shit.” When in fact, ‘her sister’ could draw wings perfectly well. Ku was just upset that ‘this sister’ was not only a decade younger and a better artist than her, but also that she did not have a Master’s degree. You see, in Ku’s wacky world of crack and Ritalin, you can only be an artist if you have a piece of paper to say so. Ku has thus far denied allegations that the Masters degree was all just a wonderful dream.
Ku's Anatomy
Wednesday 4th of April. Kuwaizair - the mid troll of the tubes, stumbled onto the page of a popular artist Pearl Phoenix on the lulz central webshite: deviantART. There, her sophisticated jealousy overtook and her 'alter ego' flamed this person for having anatomy like her friend, also known as Silenced Dreams. (SD seems to be a drama whore herself; keep an eye on this one.)
Kuwaizair sees herself as a noble fuckwit who is enemy to copycats around the interwebz. However, she has proved yet again that she is a two faced blob of slime who drips her shitty copied art and characters to all and sunder. The reason behind this? She wants to board the popularity train and choo-choo her way to stardom! However, her train has derailed, and she still hasn't clocked on that if Disney don't want to see her puked up masterpieces, nobody else does either.
Still on the topic of copying, her gallery is overflowing with stolen photographs that she claims she has taken herself and has altered them to make them look like shit. She claims that these photos are worth hundreds of dollars, and flames anyone who doesn't agree. Sadly, Ku does not accept the claim that these traced over photos don't equal art and she blows her top at anyone who says that they look like a monkey's abortion. Hypocritical, much?
Quotes
Here is a list of Ku’s best quotes to date. The spelling has not been altered, because that would take the fun away. Oh, and yes, they are real!
1) "my room and craft room DEPRESSES me. I can't fix them all by my self. I have several portfoilo for storage and a box, but its not enough to organise. it depresses me to an EXTEEAM point i can't do anything. and cant muster up the striving of doing it. damit. i feel like CRYING." - Proof that she is, in fact, a lazy bitch.
2) "why can't places sell stuff like this in America? I mean, normal stores.
arg... straberry kitkats!? hamubrger shaped cookies? why WHY?!"
- Crying over not being able to buy strawberry flavored KitKats.
3) "or you can pay me to draw cute male nthro animals butthumping for your baby's room.
nothing wrong, sex isn't a taboo. its ok for a 13 yr old girl to pretend to be a boy over AIM
with her boyfriend and having sex. its normal a normal thing of puberty"
- Her commission info, and view on AIM secks. God help her children if she ever gets a man blind enough to want to hump her.
4) "man maybe if i loved gay porn I'd have a boyfriend. but I'm an adult.
so maybe then I should be like "omg i love baby animal sex its so hot"
then I tell guys girls who love babyanimal sex are the best,
like how 16 yr old boys like 13 yr old girls wholike watching guys butthump eachother.”
– Oh. My. God.
5) "somone gave me a crank call last night, I accidently used the upstairs phone wich has
horrble static. so I can't understand the speeker.
they had a fake granny type of voice, after trying to ask who they were a few times they
changed go a gruff-like "happy new year fucking asshole!!!"
then hung up. the number was invalid and the caller private."
- Whoever did that should be rewarded. Srsly.
6) "hell I'll even report my self to the copyright police"
- We can all think of better people to report you to. They wear white, not black.
7) "I demand an extraordnarly beautifull boyfriend. like a living anime guy. I just have anotehr unattainable net crush but hes not movie star handsom, singer cute, supermodle beautiful. bleg, well I can't have him anyway."
- Ku's take on 'the importance of looks in a romantic relationship'.
The Spelling Bee
Kuwaizair has her own made up language. It is so unique and subliminal that it is near impossible for any mortal to decipher, until now. Below is a list of most often used words for you all, just in case she posts a rant and you wish to translate it just so you know what the hell she is saying:
- "Encyclopedia Dramatica" Translates to "enclocpdiea dramataic"
- "Gryphon/Griffon" Translates to "Griffen"
- "Since" Translates to "sence"
- "Imagine" Translates to "imagen"
- "Elses things" Translates to "elese tings"
- "permission" Translates to "premission"
- "Video" Translates to "vidio"
- "Jealous" Translates to "jelious"
- "Possibly" Translates to "posslby"
- "Calendar" Translates to "callander"
- "Company" Translates to "compnay"
- "Didn't" Translates to "dind't"
- "Impediment" Translates to "appediment"
- "Correlation" Translates to "corrlation"
- "Something" Translates to "somethiing"
- "Pressure" Translates to "pressue"
- "Intellectual" Translates to "intelluctail"
- "Approved" Translates to "apporved"
- "Immigrant" Translates to "immagrent"
...And many, many, many, many moar.
Her ‘fanbase’
Ku’s sole purpose on the internets is to gather as many die-hard fans as possible. After all, she needs someone to be able to endure her ranting. In recent journals, however. Her fans have been getting pretty pissed at her for her endless moaning and drama whoring that even they have been flaming her for being an irritating little bitch. Some even taking her off their friend lists. Maybe these thickshits have finally realized that our heroine's art is actually shit as well as her looks and personality. It has only taken them three years to work this fact out.
Lately her equally retarded fanbase has also noticed how Ku has real feelings or lust and omgsecks as she has openly admitted to being on the pornographic furry-furry website which specializes in bestiality and shagging innocent plush dolls. Here she is known as 'LibidoWolf', and what a lusty whore she is! Why, just following this link will lead you to many dirty posts this bitch has made!
She found us, ladies and Gentlemen!
| —Kuwaizair |
Aaah yes. The girl with the artistic talent of a blind monkey, the mental capacity of a flea, the looks of roadkill and the stench of an old woman's fairy has found us out at last. Yes, the tribute to our lordship has finally been unraveled in a sparkling journal of hate and anger. And as per usual, her accuracy on WHODUNIT is about as precise as a drunken dart player without his board. Yes, those poor bitches who draw cartoon doggies and the like are the target for this psycho who is as mad as a hippo on crack. Almost all of the links shown in the bottom section will lead you to more rantings that this shit-on-a-stick has created against those poor canine artists. In a recent DeviantART journal, she screams:
| —Kuwaizair |
Her mommy probably told her what to write. Surely Kuwaizair, who has never seen the inside of a classroom, would not know what 'misconstrue' means?
| —Kuwaizair, on passing diseases to her pets. |
| —Kuwaizair |
Additional Info
Aliases
If you see users around the tubes with gay names such as these below, you can be sure that they belong to our drama whore, Ku.
- LibidoWolf
- EAO
- Anui
- Jake Warner - Yes, that is actually a boy's name!
- Dark kennith - This bitch is seriously gender confused
To check that Ku is actually real and not some thought up net 'tard, you can help to troll her around tha interweb and see for yourself how much of a dramawhore she actually is. Here is a list of places where she likes to whore her worthless days out.
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Kuwaizair is part of a series on DeviantART |
| Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage. |
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Kuwaizair is part of a series on Furfaggotry |
| Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
