Lanaia Lee
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
The Internet is a deep pool of stupidity. Meet one of its bottom-dwellers, Mary Kellis, aka Lanaia Lee:
- Lanaia Lee is a 46-year-old stroke survivor that suffered a stroke at 35 due to high blood pressure. Her disease is called erratic hypertension. Ever since the stroke Lanaia has been in a wheelchair but she hasnt let that stop her one bit! In Lanaia own words "I still rock and roll, and I mean literally roll!" Lanaia has also lost six children due to her problem with blood pressure, leaving her with no living children, except for her 3 year old Jack Russell Terrier.
Holy crap! It's like Tawneelynne but without any of the scary naked pictures.
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[edit] Oh look, a plagiarist
She's been annoying the hell out of everyone with a book she's written, first in a five-part series called Of Atlantis, shopping an excerpt around to reviewers. Turns out the bit she's been showing off as her pride and joy was an almost word-for-word copy of a 1993 work by David Gemmel, titled Dark Prince.
- Text from the Prologue of “Of Atlantis”
- By Lanaia Lee
- From Conception to Devastation
- The golden-haired child sat alone, as he usually did, and wondered whether his Father would die today. Some distance away, across the royal gardens , his nurse was talking to the two sentries who guarded him during the hours of daylight. The soldiers, grim eyed warriors, did not look at him and shifted nervously as he approached.
- Archimedes was used to this reaction. Even at four he understood it.
- He remembered with sadness the day three weeks ago when his Father, garbed for war, had walked along this same garden path, his cuirass gleaming in the sunlight. It was so beautiful that Alexander had reached out to touch the gleaming plates of iron, edged with gold, six golden lions on the breast. But as his hand came forward his Father moved swiftly back.
- “Don’t touch me boy!” he snapped.
- “I would not hurt you, Father,” whispered the prince, staring up at the black-bearded face, with its blind right eye like a huge opal beneath the savagely scarred brow.
- “I came to say goodbye,” muttered Lionus, “and to tell you to be good. Learn your lessons well.”
- “Will you win?” the child asked.
- “Win or die, boy, “ answered the King, kneeling to face his son. He appeared to relax, though his expression remained stern. “There are those that think I cannot win. They remember Onomarchus defeated me when we last met.
And the text from Gemmell's Dark Prince:
Note that the copy was so sloppy that not all the names were properly searched and replaced.
[edit] Caught!
After first swearing up and down that she'd written every word, Lee then changed her story to say she'd been ripped off by a ghostwriter. A well-known ghostwriter and scam artist, and even though the explanation reeks of bullshit, others say they have reams of data that back up this claim.
Just when everyone is set to feel sorry for Mary/Lanaia and spew righteous outrage at a notorious scammer for taking advantage of a naive, wheelchair-bound woman (she'll never let you forget she's in one, it's her favorite excuse for acting like a moron), she blasts through a high-traffic forum, agent in tow, disclaiming any responsibility for what happened, making nasty legal threats (and even a promise of retaliatory witchcraft).
As the pilfered excerpt remained posted at her own site for the better part of a week, Lanaia kept herself busy posting woe-is-me messages to her Yahoo fan club accusing people of lying about what happened, apparently forgetting she was the one who wrote those "lies" just a few hours previous.
Belatedly, the plagiarized text was removed from her site, replaced with a work that was a rewrite of that copy. Lee has since replaced that copy with what she claims as the original prologue, in syntax described by one commenter as "being sodomized with a life-sized velociraptor dildo."
What took her so long to get rid of that first excerpt? She's been busy sending dozens of threatening emails daily to Jane Litte at Dear Author, who discovered what had happened and presented it to the world for examination.
[edit] This is the best part. Seriously.
Oh, and did we mention that all of this drama was over a manuscript to be published at a vanity press? Lanaia Lee hired a ghostwriter to work on a novel that she was going to pay to have published and that no one would ever buy.
Yeah.
[edit] Lanaia can haz victory?
Lee was crowing about an interview with her local paper, the Greensboro News-Record, telling everyone it would vindicate her, causing rays of sunshine to shoot out of her ass and vaporize everyone she thought had attacked her. Oh, and she also mixed in an extortion attempt; threatening to badmouth Litte unless she received a public apology.
If lines like Now that the plagiarism has come to light, (Lee) maintains she shouldn't held accountable are any indication, the story didn't quite work out the way she hoped. Indeed, it seems to have finally occurred to her that the last person she should run to for sympathy about ghostwriters and plagiarism is another writer. She hasn't trumpeted the press clipping on her website or sad little Yahoo Group, and a weary world breathes a sigh of relief now that she's finally shut the fuck up.
[edit] Bonus stupid
She's also entangled with another vanity press in Portugal. She was warned about the sleaze of this outfit a month ago. Naturally, she pops up today on the vanity's site to introduce herself. To quote a poster at Absolute Writers, "She's definitely a volunteer, not a victim."
[edit] FUCK YU I HAS A PUBLICIZT
On March 23, 2008, Lanaia Lee came to ED for help. Unfortunately, being the retard she is, she posted her comment (displayed below) to the ED article Article.
| —Lanaia Lee |
Apparently spelling and grammar are unnecessary tools of a successful writer.
[edit] External Links
Lanaia's YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/Lanaia74
