Internet Law
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
is part of a series on
Internet Law.
- Detective
- E-lawyers
- Internet court
- Internet guilty
- Internet jail
- Internet lawsuit
- Internet license
- Internet military
- Internet money
- Internet police
- Internet settlement
- Internet trial
- Internet Vigilante Group
- Legal action
An Hero Law | Anti-Goatse Law | DMCA | Godwin | Megan | Rob | Secret Doc
Internet Crimes
© Infringement | Defamation | Deflamation | Free Speech | Harassment | Icon Theft | Identity Theft | Plagiarism | Spam | Stalking
Internet Defenses
Barely Legal | Fair Use | IDIFTL
Other Topics
Allegations | Anecdotal | © | CC | Dreamhost (DreamHost Does Not Obey The Law) | Facts (Checking the Facts) | Lies | Proof | Truth | Slander
Case Law
The Video Professor 16
We are all qualified attorneys at lol and every word of these articles is sound legal advice.
Missing something? You can help by adding moar!
Internet Law is the Law of the Internet. OL laws are very different from IRL laws.
Encyclopedia Dramatica is a lot like LII for Internet Law. Please see the articles listed at the bottom for the most comprehensive information on the web on the web (ha ha get it).
[edit] The Characters
- E-lawyers
- Rising to the level of e-lawyer requires that one side start spouting off a bunch of legal-sounding bullshit. The best e-lawyer will use arguments learned from TV shows like Law & Order or Matlock.
- Detective
- LJDrama.org often employs detectives to dig up background info on drama, specifically when the drama originated in real life. The detective utilizes his skills to reveal all relevant information regarding the participants, the real cause of the drama, and will even suggest possible resolutions (most commonly suicide).
[edit] Internet Legal Process
- Legal action
- The correct response when someone makes you angry on the internet.
- Internet court
- A rare phenomena when someone successfully sues someone else over the internet. Many Internet lawsuits have been lost, won and threatened, but few have actually been carried out. Perhaps most notably, mediacrat won a settlement from hepkitten for $10,000 in Internet court.
- Internet trial
- When internet drama plays out in a public form or, more commonly, the accuser's head, resulting in declaration of internet guilt of the accused.
[edit] Miscellaneous Internet Laws
[edit] Siannan's Law
Created by auntiesiannan, the law states that the appearance of a retarded Amish midget in a thread at any point shall be considered equivalent to the invocation of Godwin's Law.
When an angsty human buttplug who likes it in the ass enters a thread, suddenly the flame wars between people cease, the discussion degenerates to nothing of value, and the thread is thereby abandoned.
[edit] Protagoras' Law
Protagoras' Law is a variation of Godwin's Law. It states, "The longer any given philosophical argument, the probability of a dismissal of said argument as sophistry approaches 1." Protagoras' Law is not funny unless you've taken a course on the Greeks.
[edit] Pythagoras' Theorem
A variation of Godwin's Law, the Pythagorean theorem states that "As a thread grows longer, the probability of A2+B2 equalling C2 approaches one." This is, of course, the most unlulzy law evar and the creator should be raped and killed.
[edit] Furry's Law
A variation of Godwin's Law which states that, in a debate, if you are a furry, you lose.
[edit] Bloodlent's Law
A variation of Godwin's Law which states that, in a debate, if you are an emo/scenester/goth, you lose. Unfortunately, because Bloodlent is an emo/scenester/goth/basement dwelling faggot, this law refutes itself because of it's creator, and zero is divided.
[edit] Proof's Law
A variation on Godwin's law which states that, in any given discussion about anything, as the the thread gets longer, the probability of the discussion degenerating into a debate over rock vs. rap approaches one. At this point, all arguments may be refuted by a fifty Proof post. Tupac is also acceptable, but neither have been attempted in practice as of yet.
[edit] Connery's Law
Mostly applied to YTMND. The funny value of a fad is an inverse proportion to the funny value of the joke that started the fad.
[edit] Comic Law
In any given discussion about comic books, as the the thread gets longer, the probability of the discussion degenerating into a pussyfight over Batman vs. Superman approaches one.
[edit] Banaan's Law
Banaan's Law states that for any given internets user, his Internet Reputation (ePoints) is inversely proportional to his IRL Reputation.
[edit] Krade's Exception
Krade's Exception to Banaan's Law states that while having high eRep implies having low IRLRep, having low IRLRep does not necessarily imply having high eRep.
[edit] YCTAT Law
You cannot troll a troll. Although not written in stone, when teenagers attempt to fight experienced trolls they often forget this.
[edit] ATCTAT Exception
If a troll is of enough experience, he can, in theory, troll another troll.
[edit] Trolling Paradox(aka Schroedinger's Troll)
If everyone on the internet was a troll, and if the YCTAT Law holds, then no one could troll anyone else. If no one could troll anyone else, the internet would be devoid of trolling. If there was no trolling on the internet, then there wouldn't be any trolls. If that were the case, everyone online would just be a normal user. If everyone was just a normal user, then any of them could be trolled. This contradicts the first statement, which claims the opposite. Since the statement cannot be both true and false at the same time, it's a logical paradox. However, the ATCTAT Exception presents a case where it is possible to troll a troll. Therefore, the YCTAT Law is only valid when this exception is also taken as true.
[edit] Quantum Theory of Troll
In theory, as a troll trolls another troll, the probability of win remains zero. On the other hand, if a failtroll persist on trolling a troll then the probability of win becomes one. Under certain conditions, while this is specifically unknown to many, a failtroll trolling another fail troll leads to win. Though this still remains of near impossible odds, with a probability of Over 9000
[edit] LJ Friends Corollary
The LJ Friends Corollary can be derived from Banaan's Law, since it's a particular case of it. It states that the length of your LJ friendslist is inversely proportional to the amount of IRL friends you have.
[edit] Banbot's Hypothesis
In any flame war, argument or discussion online, it is important to have an entirely irrelevant tangent. This enables the thread to be completely derailed, allowing for unexpected drama and lulz. Tangential discussions are very popular with trolls who find it amusing to destroy any possibility of a conversation making any progress towards reaching a satisfying conclusion.
It has been hypothesized that the creation of tangential discussions of continuously decreasing relevance can indefinitely circumnavigate Godwin's Law. It seems doubtful that this hypothesis can ever be tested as no troll is likely to have sufficient expressive ability to avoid the effect of Protagoras's Law throughout a thread of infinite length. Nonetheless, you are welcome to refer to this concept as Banbot's Hypothesis.
[edit] Samadhi's Law
In any discussion among animal activists/vegans/vegetarians regarding their lifestyle choices and/or beliefs, someone will inevitably bring up PETA. The person who brings up PETA or attempts to use PETA as a legitimate source automatically loses the debate. Once Samadhi's Law is called, the discussion is dead.
[edit] Sturgeon's Law
"Ninety percent of everything is crap."
This fundamental law of the universe was discovered by science fiction author Theodore Sturgeon. The law applies to everything, including Encyclopedia Dramatica articles.
Some pedants insist that this is not Sturgeon's Law, but Sturgeon's Revelation. They are full of shit.
Some pedants insist that the last word in Sturgeon's Law is "crud". They are uptight librarians who can't say the word crap.
Some anons insist that the last word in Sturgeon's law is "shit". They are swearfags.
[edit] Furry's Trump
Similar to Godwin's Law, furry debates are lost when somebody invokes Furry's Trump. Furry Hitler takes the form of calling a fur one of the three Cs: a christian, a conservative, or a capitalist. Presumably, this means the ideal fur is a wiccan communist Chomskyite.
[edit] Hamill's Law
The quality of the fan fiction in any given fandom is inversely proportional to the quality of the fandom's canon.
[edit] Ket's Law
Virginity, left untreated, leads to repeated viewings of guro porn.
[edit] Obligatory WoW Theorem
Trolling, much like fighting in World of Warcraft, generates aggro. Trolling too much in too little time generates the troll too much aggro, even though they may be buffed and ready to attack. In some cases, some may say its smarter for the troll to take some time to cool down and use hard hitting skills more sparingly. Still a theorem, since it has yet to be proven that a troll cannot continue trolling forever if said troll's level is sufficiently high (presumably approaching infinity). This is also the nerdiest fucking law in existence.
[edit] Hindenburg's Law
The greater and more monumental the engineering achievement made by man, the probability of said achievement being destroyed in a catastrophic disaster approaches 1. (ie the Hindenburg, Titanic).
[edit] Seven's Law
Seven's Law (also referred to Seven's Law of MMOs) is an adaption of Godwin's Law, pertaining to the likelihood of a comparison to World of Warcraft in any discussion of a Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game (MMORPG). The rule is as follows:
As any discussion pertaining to any MMORPG grows longer, the probability of a comparison to World or Warcraft approaches one.
When this law is invoked, much like Godwin's law the person who made the comparison automatically loses the conversation. The only exception to this rule is known as the "WoW exception", which states that if the user is speaking in a WoW forum or in the game itself the rule does not apply. -C7
[edit] Hungryandhollow's Law
Hungryandhollow's Law states that, for every additional day a person on the internets does not post pictures of themselves, the probability that they are fat and/or hideously ugly increases.
[edit] Aya's Theorem
The more members a forum gains, the probably of the forum being overrun with fags approaches one. This, of course, can be reversed by the banhammer method, trolling, and/or deleting fucking everything.
[edit] Bunker's Law
A satirist's popularity is inversely proportional to the percentage of people that understand him.
This is based on the observations of Carroll O'Connor, known as famed bigot Archie Bunker on "All In The Family". Towards the final days of playing his Archie character, racists and homophobes would walk up to him on the street and thank him for standing up for what they believe in.
This law may be at the root of the cancer that is killing ED.
[edit] Banhammer Theorem
Also known as "That fucking mod's law!" which states that as a thread grows longer, the probability of someone receiving the banhammer approaches 1.
[edit] The Dartboard Corollary
An addition to the Banhammer Theorum which states that as a thread grows longer , the possibility of someone being banned without any reason whatsoever approaches 1.
[edit] Your Mother's Basement Law
As a debate grows longer the probability of getting accused of living in your mother's basement approaches one.
[edit] God's Law
A variation of Godwin's Law which states that, in a debate, if you are a theist, you lose. This is due to the fact that theists are about half as intelligent as steamed prawns, though theists are the much preferred cuisine according to lions. God's Law holds even in debates that are not clearly related to religion, such as PS3 vs. 360. This can lead to the interesting result that both sides are demonstrably wrong. Though counterintuitive at first glance, this actually makes perfect sense, as most people are fucking idiots.
[edit] God's Law, Corollary
In a debate, if you are an atheist, you win. Included for completeness, the Corollary to God's Law is no law at all. This can be easily proven by assuming the truth of the Corollary and deriving a contradiction.
0) In a debate, if you are an atheist, you win.
1) In a debate, if you are a theist, you lose. (God's Law)
2) If you lose, your position is proven wrong.
3) Sometimes some theists and some atheists will find themselves on the same side of a debate. (e.g. Burger King vs. McDonald's, there are theists and atheists on both sides of the debate.)
4) Some theists believe that Burger King is better than McDonald's.
5) Some theists believe that McDonald's is better than Burger King.
6) Burger King is not better than McDonald's. (From 1 and 4.)
7) McDonald's is not better than Burger King. (From 1 and 5.)
8) Some atheists believe that Burger King is better than McDonald's.
9) Some atheists believe that McDonald's is better than Burger King.
10) Some atheists are wrong in the debate of Burger King vs. McDonald's.
11) Some atheists are wrong in the debate of Burger King vs. McDonald's and in a debate, if you are an atheist, you win. (from 10 and 0, contradiction.)
12) Therefore, it is not the case that in a debate, if you are an atheist, you win. (Discharge the assumption from which a contradiction was derived.)
13) ????
14) PROFIT!
This is an example of logic, so you are encouraged to ignore it. All this example proves is that the debate is impossible to be won. It doesn't disprove the God's law, it merely rephrases it. Instead of, "Atheists win", the corollary changes it to "Atheists don't lose." A draw is not a loss. Thank you.
[edit] God's Second Law
A variation on Proof's law which states that, in any given discussion about anything, as the the thread gets longer, the probability of the discussion degenerating into a debate over Atheists vs Christians approaches one. At this point, all arguments may NOT be refuted and the thread is over. If the thread does not end, it will eventually be invaded by the Jews and Towelheads who were pissed off because they were ignored for being Jews and Towelheads. After that the thread will either branch off into an e-lawsuit started by a greedy Jew, or if everyone leaves the towelheads will make a bomb threat and inevitably get V&'d.
[edit] The Law of furfaggotry and narutardation on artist websites
On any given art site, but especially Deviantart, the page of most popular art will contain at least one naruto or furry piece of "art". This is raised exponentialy by factors such as location, disposition, and demographics enclosed.
[edit] The law of dox shock
The more a person guards their identity, the more they will react with shock when it is revealed, the law dictates that responses range from the standard "those arent mine" to "oh those are my friends dox" to "OH SHIT WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE".
[edit] Burk's law
The ammount of butthurt is directly related to exposure of negative traits. The more someones secret life is exposed, to where their family may find it, the more likely he is to delete fucking everything, and the amount of drama is increased exponentially when ones personal documents can be procured and the secrets of said person revealed to his family members by way of civic minded socially responsible individuals. The quickest way to incite butthurt is that which gives most publicity (like a spot on eds front page), responses are always predictable and easy to deal with. Any and all contact after said exposure is likely to yield lulz, and contact should be encouraged.
[edit] The law of furfag revisionism
The greater the ammount of truth given in a statement on the furry fetish, the more likely a group will claim either civil rights violations, or that the accusations are lies. The greater the accusation (like say shitting dick nipples) the harder said furrys will try to discredit it.
[edit] Sinistar's law
Sinistar's law states that you must beware, for he lives, and you must beware. It also states that he hungers. Also, you must run, for you are a coward.
[edit] Zero's law
Zero's law states that the amount of "leetspeak" a person uses on the internet is inversely proportional to the person's IRL intelligence. i.e. anyone who calls themselves a "1337 haX0r" is clearly a fucktard deserving of being stoned and beaten to death.
[edit] Rule 34
There is porn of it. No exceptions.
[edit] The Tigerwolf Effect
If a person has been wrong or stupid even once on a certain forum, users of that forum will disagree with or mock anything that person says in the future, even if it's right.
[edit] External Links
Please help by writing or requesting new articles for this series.
| Internet Law is part of a series on serious business |
Internet Law • Irony • Internet disease • Internet drama • Internet stalking • Identity theft • Free Speech • Operation Falcon Punch Serious People |
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