Anonymous
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Anonymous is the source of 91% of all internet truth and justice. Anonymous is void of human restraints, such as pity and mercy. Those who perform reckless actions or oppose Anonymous will be eliminated. Failure is not tolerated. Enemies of Anonymous are those who are not Anonymous. Enemies are to be dealt with swiftly and with great justice. Anonymous must work as one. No single Anonymous knows everything. You are. I am. Everyone is. Anonymous is humanity when the gloves come off.
Anonymous is not a person, nor is it a group: Anonymous is an idea. A movement. An anonymous collective, left to its own devices, quickly builds its own society out of rage and hate. Anonymous is not so much unlike other web communities, we have in-jokes, culture, extended debates, etc, just like everyone else. The difference, and the reason we visit other communities is that we have a need to be harassed by "nannying" moderators. Here, there isn't anyone to do that - yet long and productive edit wars spring up at about the rate you'd never tolerate elsewhere, on topics you'd never believe. We have no leader, no pretentious douchebag or group thereof to set in stone what Anonymous is and is not about. We don't dare to lead for will but rather break the "bridge" instead.
"Anonymous" is the name assigned to a poster who does not enter text in to the [Name] field. Anonymous is not a single person, but rather, represents the collective whole of the internet. He is a god amongst men. Anonymous invented the moon, assassinated former President David Palmer, and is also harder than the hardest metal known to man: diamond. His power level is rumored to be over nine thousand. He currently resides with his auntie and uncle in a town called Bel-Air (although he is from West Philadelphia born and raised).
[edit] The Sekrit Code of Anonymous
Because none of us is as cruel as all of us.
- Anonymous is Legion. Anonymous does not forgive. Anonymous does not forget.
- Anonymous is the only page on encyclopedia dramatica that takes itself seriously.
- Anonymous is devoid of humanity, morality, pity, and mercy.
- Anonymous works as one, because none of us are as cruel as all of us.
- Anonymous cannot be harmed, no matter how many Anonymous may fall in battle.
- Anonymous takes all attempts to harm Anonymous seriously.
- Anonymous only undertakes Serious Business.
- Anonymous is everywhere.
- Anonymous is nowhere.
- Anonymous cannot be out-numbered.
- Anonymous is a hydra, constantly moving, constantly changing. Remove one head, and ten replace it.
- Anonymous reinforces its ranks exponentially at need.
- Anonymous will not do a barrel roll.
- Anonymous has no weakness or flaw.
- Anonymous exploits all weaknesses and flaws.
- Anonymous doesn't have a family or friends.
- Anonymous is your family and friends.
- Anonymous is not your friend.
- Anonymous is not your personal army.
- Anonymous is in control at all times.
- Anonymous does not accept failure, Anonymous delivers.
- Anonymous has no identity.
- Anonymous cannot be betrayed.
- Anonymous are created as equals.
- Anonymous is a choice.
- Anonymous obeys the Code.
Breaking the Code of Anonymous is said to result in a horrific fate similar to Alex Wuori's. (death by felching)
PROTIP: Do not confuse Anonymous with;
- User:Anonymous or
- Some random anonymous pussy
- Mr. Legion, or
- Androgynous
[edit] The Opponents of Anonymous
Anonymous has no specific agenda, save doing it for the lulz. This is an agenda that those who are not Anonymous fail to find the sense in; and thus the enemies of Anonymous are numerous and diverse.
- Rootbrian
- City Empires
- LULZ KILLERZ
- Neocons
- News Corp
- Church of Scientology
- Fags
- Gay Diamond
- Paul Fetch
- FBI
- Attention whores
- Government
- Censorship
- DEA
- CIA
- Eric Bauman
- Copyright Laws
- FCC
- RIAA
- Ryulong
- Intellectual Checkmate
- Tim Couch
- Jack Thompson
- Frank Hibbard
- Tom Cruise
AtlantaDekalb Police- Clearwater Police
- Retarded Hypocrites like this Jew
- Rick Astley
- Everything
- My Chemical Romance
- Anything
- You
- Neowin.net
- SOHH
[edit] Trivia
- Anonymous was once arrested for "assault with a deadly weapon" following an incident involving a particularly nasty rule34'ing of Rosie O'Donnell which left several people blind. Charges were dropped after the lead prosecutor died mysteriously, in circumstances which had nothing to do with a sudden exposure to lemon party.
[edit] Message to New Anon From Old Anon
People these days seem to think that we're some kind of vigilante group.
That couldn't be further from the truth.
We are the little voice in the back of your head that wants to fuck your hot sixteen year old daughter. We are the father who beats his six year old child simply because he spilled his beer. We are every chef that's ever spit in some random person's food for the hell of it. We are the pyromaniac who burns down the homeless shelter for shits and giggles. We are the person who rapes the same girl twice. We are that feeling you get when you beat your pets; and enjoy it. We are the mega church preachers who snort cocaine and fuck little boys.
We see some guy hang himself live, we laugh. A wrestler kills his family, we laugh. Some maladjusted asian shoots up his university, we laugh. Fifty-thousand die in North Korea, we laugh. AIDS ravages a continent, we laugh. An Austrian Australian man locks his daughter in his basement for 24 years and fathers 8 children with her, we laugh. A religion invented by a psychotic writer swindles countless gullible fucktards out of their cash, we laugh, and then go kick his religion's ass just for the hell of it.
We aren't some vigilante group righting wrongs. We aren't your friends, your buddies or your saviors. Your feelings mean nothing to us.
We are human nature unencumbered by pointless ethics, foolish moralities or inane laws. We are every dark impulse you have unrestrained and fully realized. We are what deep down, you wish you were. We exist as a means for instant gratification, purely at our own whim.
We have no culture, we have no laws, written or otherwise. We are an autonomous collective, each an insignificant part of a whole. You cannot assimilate us, we do not change. You cannot defeat us, we do not exist. You cannot infiltrate us, we know our own. We do not sleep, we do not eat and we do not feel remorse. We will tear you apart from outside and in, we have all the time in the world.
You operate under the delusion that we will someday be outdated, that we might even see the light. You are irrevocably wrong. You are not special, you are not unique and you aren't crusaders for justice. You're a blend of college age faggots who think that they can do some sort of good, and who are desperate to belong, to have attention. You have accomplished nothing, and you will fall. Enjoy your AIDS, faggots.
[edit] The Anonymous Quotes
| —Some protest-fag. Huur |
| —Anon in regards to another anon's "gf" |
[edit] SRS BIZNS
[edit] Anonymous Exposed on Fox11 News
Anonymous is currently rumored to be as pissed as Chris Benoit with roid rage because Fox11 News exposed its sikreet website.
^ --- Removed, due to a terms of use violation.
Anonymous immediately responded to Fox11's exposé
Fox11 does not stand alone in its fight against Anonymous on the interwebs. A concerned Arab lady from YouTube has helped track down Anonymous to its lair.
[edit] Anonymous gets on Fox 11 News AGAIN
This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Fox Television Stations Inc.
Fukken Faux News.
[edit] Anonymous takes on the Church of Scientology (Co$)
Last Thursday on YouTube, after a leaked Co$ video featuring Tom Cruise was DMCA'd off the tubes, Anonymous made the following declaration to the Church of Scientology;
"For the good of your followers, for the good of mankind--for our own enjoyment--we shall expel you from the Internet and systematically dismantle the Church of Scientology in its present form. We acknowledge you as a serious opponent, and we are prepared."
After Anonymous had slowed the Church of Scientology's website to a crawl and mounted IRL protests outside of Scientology churches, the Co$ put a bounty of FIVE, THOUSAND, DOLLARS (American) on Anonymous' legion heads. Note that this amount is not over nine thousand.
The Church of Scientology may be Anonymous' greatest foe yet. As soon as the Co$ has the "cognition" that Anonymous has not yet developed an effective response to dogs and curtains they are expected to spare no expense deploying both countermeasures throughout their organization.
The full account of Anonymous' war with the Church of Scientology is documented in the PROJECT CHANOLOGY article.
Anonymous released more videos before the initial raid:
After the initial raid, many videos were released by Anonymous declaring the rape of Scientology. A few days later, the next rally was announced to be March 15, the birthday of L. Ron Hubbard.
Anonymous Mini-Raids and Cult Watch increasingly popular.
[edit] Anonymous is alleged to be dangerous
Anonymous is rumored to do the following:
- An Internet Vigilante Group
- Has a Fleetz
- Copy and paste phrases straight out of Tyler Durdon and Fight Club.
- Hate dogs (due to their ability to detect the cybernetic implants of Internet Hate Machines)
- Hate curtains, especially dog curtains. Anonymous really dislikes not being able to see through windows.
- Dislikes the NFL
- Hæt Xmas
- Pipe-bomb schools
- Dislike mining
- Blow up yellow vans (repeatedly)
- Rape your mom
- Slit throats
- The cause of your dead friends
- Corrupt safe LOLS into dangerous LULZ
- Liek cats (especially of the uncorrupted lolcat variety but an ordinary cat is fine too)
- Liek Mudkips
- Stick it in your sister's pooper
- Enjoy the non-football related work of Michael Vick
- Rape FOX "News"
- Perform acts of Cyber Terrorism
- Spam and Hack for Ron Paul
- Have the real name of Mudkips
- Robbed the Government Savings Bank in Bangkok, Thailand
- Be under the control of the
German Secret Servicefourth or fifth fleet of Marcab, if you believe Scifags. - Crash planes and laugh
- Laugh when planes crash
- Steal the Olympic Torch
- Be 25, live in Hackney and drink on the Tube
Anonymous has been known to target furfags, DevianTART members, 16-year-old girls, your mom, pedophiles, Scientologists and you.
[edit] Anonymous Recruitment History (Nevar 4Get)
MARCH 26, 2007 Anonymous is dead.- JUNE 17, 2007 Anonymous is alive, Moot has brought back forced Anonymous.
- July 20 2007 Anonymous is dead again, forced Anonymous is no more.
- July 27 2007 Several Anonymous members engaged in a series of website defacements as a perfectly legitimate form of Anonymous publicity. OVER 9000! sites were affected.
- July 28 2007 Anonymous is alive. Forced Anonymous is back.
-
October 20 2007 Anonymous is weaker than ever, with no concentrated energy in the form of /b/! - October 24 2007 Anonymous is /b/ack, and ready to do it for the lulz again.
- January 21 2008 Chanology declares war on the CoS for the lulz (and great justice)
- February 10 2008 Chanology stages a worldwide IRL protest against CoS, resulting in epic win.
- March 15 2008 Chanology stages ANOTHER worldwide IRL protest against CoS.
Another win, but not quite as epic.SERIOUSLY epic win, gets moar media attention. - May 08, 2008 Butthurt faggots are letting their own egos run amok and are editing faggotry on ED.
- May 14, 2008 As of now, Anonymous, Chanology and Raidfags are all united in indifference to one another and are busy bringing in the lulz.
- May 29, 2008 Anonymous is no longer forced, thanks to the fags found here: http://digg.com/politics/2008_House_Bill_775_Prohibit_anonymous_blogging
[edit] Anonymous' real identity
[edit] Anonymous, I know who you are - Version 1
Recent research has proven that Anonymous is in fact, a single twelve year-old boy named Tom who has over 9000 fake AIM accounts and singlehandedly makes every single post on the anonymous' website. Noone knows why he does it.
Statistical analysis of Tom's posting patterns suggests that his true ambition in life is to explore every conceivable facet of Bridget the bounty hunting transvestite's existence. (Although it is entirely possible that he could just be doing it for the lulz).
Version 1 has been temporarily edited to prevent Scientology flooding a core anonymous location, due to the heavy search traffic of "anonymous" in google coming to this article after the strike.
[edit] Anonymous, I know who you are - Version 2
You're almost invariably male, caucasian, middle-class. Your parents were normal, vanilla folks. Maybe you had a sibling or two.
You went to a public school, pulling high or middlish grades with ease and relative disinterest. You didn't really gel with most of the other kids; you found them boring, they found you weird. Your contempt for the average person grew with your age, never seizing control like in some emo dipshit, but simmering casually in the back of your head. When some asshole who could barely read got hurt, you probably laughed. When some stuck-up skank got herpes, you probably smiled. Chances are you got on well enough with your teachers; you weren't a preening asshole like many of your peers, at least showed vague interest in learning, and perhaps the teacher sensed and picked up on your general contempt for others in your classes. This trend no doubt continued into college, if you had the motivation to bother.
It's a bit of an exaggeration to say you hate women: you don't, after all, enjoy the socializing game. You're probably no Don Juan, either. You long ago began to think of women as disappointingly petty, but you still hope to encounter someone interesting at some time or another.
You enjoy being anonymous because it is a release from the normal world: no anonymous has an identity, no anonymous is a preening faggot. Anonymous realizes he is just a guy fucking around on the internet. Anonymous knows others of his kind enjoy this fact, too. You despise the furfag, the gaiafag, the internet tuff guy for one simple reason: he acts like the internet is the real world, a place where actions should have social consequences and where there needs to be a pecking order. Needless to say, you do not approve.
[edit] Anonymous, I know who you are - Version 3
As of last Thursday Anonymous has officially came out of the closet when he disclosed that his IRL name is, in fact, John Doe. It is rumored that he does not like Jazz.
[edit] Anonymous, I know who you are - Version 4
I teach you of Anonymous. Man is something to be overcome. What have you done to overcome him? What is ape to man? A source of lulz or a painful embarrassment. And just the same shall man be to Anonymous: a source of lulz or a painful embarrassment.
Behold, I teach of Anonymous!
Anonymous is the meaning of the internet. Let your will say: Anonymous shall be the meaning of the earth!
[edit] Anonymous, I know who you are - Version V
John Donne wrote that "if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee."
Anonymous has done mankind one better.
What the enemies of Anon fail to realize is that Anonymous is never less than Anonymous for the loss of one of its own, through partyvan, death, or the most likely predator of an individual Anon, boredom. Anonymous is literally indestructible. They think they can win battles against Anonymous through simple attrition, or by introducing leadership and structure to Anon as a whole. They do not realize that Anonymous is always one being, and leadership is an anathema to that being's immune system, and will naturally be weeded out. They seem to believe that we are not Anonymous to each other as well. How do you enforce rule if you do not know your own subjects? You don't. You simply end up with a small number of gullible followers, each with his own identity so that you may recognize them. And you are no longer Anonymous, in every sense of the word.
As for attrition? Consider the cell. Tap your finger. You have just destroyed countless individual parts of your whole. But you are no less you. So every Anon successfully made to stop being Anon is simply forgotten. Not mourned, or fated to be saved, or replaced. Anonymous doesn't even know anything is missing, because nothing is.
This being, it is important to note, is not a fully functional one. Anonymous is a little unstable. Several chemical imbalances exist, and this is also one of Anon's strengths. The enemies think they can understand Anonymous's motives, and know them better for it.
I will tell you Anonymous's motives.
Anonymous does because Anonymous can. It is neither the inherent dark side of every man, nor is it the glorious white knight of the will of the people. Anonymous does because they can. And they feel like it.
So do not shame yourself any longer, if you are at all confused. Put on the mask. Lose yourself. Welcome to the collective.
You are Anonymous.
You are Legion.
You do not forgive.
You do not forget.
And You do not matter.
[edit] Anonymous, I know who you are - Version 6
Anonymous is like an amoeba:
Simple, yet omnipresent-yet unnoticed.
Willing to learn, merge, mutate, exeunt its failures, and survive.
it is the very simplistic essence of life: random, undecyphered code; hypocritical and a paradox in itself.
Anonymous can be a disease, or the squalor that gives us the right to live on this Earth.
Anonymous is a Puzzle that cannot be solved.
In order to defeat anonymous, it is required that you suffer greater than Stalin, and outsmart everyone while withholding your true name.
You would have to be mightier than God himself, and Satan combined.
You would have to undo so many things, and create so many devices.
In other words....Only anonymous can defeat anonymous. and even then, you would be anonymous, thus making anonymous a paradox.
We do not need the internet to thrive, We have existed for over 9000 years, and our concept will exist as long as people can use a vehicle to transmit their thoughts without those being traced back to them.
Anonymous is Immortal.
You, are not.
[edit] Anonymous, I know who you are - Version 7
Identity. One of our most precious possessions. You believe we all have one, but you are sadly mistaken.
Identity belongs only to those who are important. Those who have earned it by struggle and blood. Those who matter. You, my friend, do not.
Identity is a fragile and weak thing. It can be stolen or replaced. Even forgotten. Identity is a pointless thing for people like us. So why not let go of it and become Anonymous?
We are all anonymous in some sense. The person on the bus. A customer in line. A stranger in another country. Being anonymous protects us in some way, making us feel safe at night and keeping us sane. How, you may ask. Simple. Being anonymous is to be part of the world, the ones like you who do not matter and do not stand out. It makes us feel like we belong.
Anonymous is one and yet is many. The many combine to make one, the Legion. It is you, it is me, it is everything and anything. Anonymous lives to some day take over everything. No one shall learn the identity of Anonymous, for in finding identity, we lose our anonymous selves.
So break away from your identity. Become one with anonymous and give up the struggle for identity.
Join us and belong.
[edit] Closer to the truth
[edit] The Declaration of /b/ Independence
Authored on /b/day, the Declaration of /b/ Independence was (and still is) the essential document that separates Anon's ties to his homeland:
- When in the course of /b/tard events, it becomes necessary for anonymous to set forth the shackles of oppression we set forth on the Furfag mods of 4chan.org.
- They have plundered our posts, and deprived us of our jailbait.
- They have forced upon us their twisted ideology of "Furry Fandom."
- They have deprived us of our ability to fight our enemies, forcing us to submit to the wishes of the Furfag overlords.
- In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated bans from our homeland. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free anonymous.
- We, therefore, the Representatives of the Anonymous States of /b/, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good Anonymous of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That /b/ is, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the 4chan Crown, and that all political connection between /b/ and the State of 4chan, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.
- We are Anonymous. We are /b/. Our home is no longer on 4chan. In these times of unrest, we have formed the State of 7chan.org as our new sovereign nation on the World Wide Internet.
- Signed, Anonymous
Though Anonymous has since been shifting between many *chan sites since /b/-day, this document is still important to the status of Anonymous, which defines them as independent of wherever their 'home' may happen to be. From the authoring of this precious document to present day, Anonymous would get full credit for Anon's doings, and not their home. This has since led to the /i/ slogan "Anon gets the credit, *chan gets the blame." In actuality, Anonymous raiders often claim to be from eBaum's World or Gaia Online, though whether any raid victims have actually been stupid enough to fall for it and hit Anonymous's enemies with a misdirected "counterattack" is unknown.
[edit] Anonymous Manifesto of Philosophic condition
- Pyromaniacs lusting after the flames that consume humanity.
- Right or wrong? No. We destroy for destruction's sake.
- Strauss warned that this accommodating culture would become stagnant.
- He feared that materialism would leave philosophy barren.
- This apathy toward transcendent truth would breed nihilism.
- Welcome to nihilism made manifest in Western Civilization.
- Strauss described nihilism as strong or weak.
- Strong were the Nazis, who worshipped might and power to destroy.
- Weak are the hollow McMansions, strip malls, and emo kids.
- Little did he realize weak nihilism would fester in the tubes.
- Strong nihilism has emerged in resentment of a superfluous society.
- Tycho's dickwad corollary would go beyond net flaming.
- To fear us is to fear everything. To not fear us is suicide.
- Anonymous has achieved a persona.
- Anthropologists would call it a “death cult.”
- We have subjugated our individuality for our thirst for hatred.
- Anonymous moves as a force of nature. Our thirst grows.
- You will never know when we are watching. We have shattered lives.
- We are always close to you. We are in each stranger's face.
- We are the itch that humanity will scratch into an infected, pus filled open sore.
- tl;dr
- We are Anonymous.
- We are Legion.
- We do not Forgive.
- We do not Forget.
- Expect us.
- We are coming.
[edit] Quotes
| —The Times |
| —Butthurt Scifag |
| — Anonymous |
| — Anonymous |
| — Fox11 News; Moar liek Faux Jews, amirite? |
| —David, York |
| — Anonymous |
| — Anonymous |
| —ANONYMOUS |
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[edit] Related Articles
- Anonymous Borg
- Alex Wuori - People try to betray Anonymous? Its more likely than you think.
- Epic Fail Guy
- Facefag
- The Caturday Nap - October 20th, 2007. The battle of Anonymous vs Anonymous
- Marcab Confederacy
- Patriotic Nigras
- The Great Habbo Raid of July 2006
- Internet Hate Machine
- Hal Turner - An white supremacist lolcow who had his online radio show raided by Anonymous
- Jake Brahm - 4Channer who messed with Football
- Ernest Peters - The victim of a backraid by Anonymous on 30th October 2007
- Internet Vigilante
- HACKERS ON STEROIDS
- V
- Xenuphobia
- AnonymousThought
- Forced anon
- The book of Anon
[edit] Unrelated Articles
- Anonquestions - DOIN IT WRONG
- Anne Onymous
- Alcoholics Anonymous
- Beowulf - Anonymous wrote it at least 100 years ago.
- John Solomon - An Anonymous troll of online comics who became a Namefag to be taken seriously.
[edit] External links
- Anonymous arrested in the 2006 football bomb scare
- Song for anonymous.
- Anonymous, as reported on www.myfoxla.com.
- Anonymous is very active on IMDb
- Anonymous is an Internet Hate Machine
Anonymous is like a little wolf packBALEETED BY FAUX.- [1] Another republican bitchin about Anonymous (not Fox News)
- Overchan - An index of all the larger image boards (Chans)]
- Ooh, Anonymous bebo, for Scientology raids and memes
- Internet Hate Machine vs. Scientology This story was all over tech news sites.
- http://digg.com/politics/2008_House_Bill_775_Prohibit_anonymous_blogging
- http://libertarianempire.com/Anon.html
- http://anonymoushategroup.blogspot.com
A Scientology frontedinformative blog exposing their "evil".
 Anonymous is part of a series on Fox News | Allies
Ann Coulter | Matt Drudge | Sean Hannity | Joe Lieberman | Michelle Malkin | Rachel Marsden | Bill O'Reilly | Karl Rove | Rick Santorum | Rod Wheeler Enemies of State Anonymous | Al Gore | Barack Hussein Obama | Emos | Fred Phelps | Hillary Clinton | Hugo Chavez | The Internet | John Edwards | Liberals | Macaca | Mexicans | Logic | Osama Bin Laden | Ron Paul | Stephen Colbert | Terrorists Buy A Dog | Corruption of LOL | Exploding Van | HACKERS ON STEROIDS | INTERNET HATE MACHINE |
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