If you haven't looked at ED:LULZ in a while, now is a great time to catch up.
Lie
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Lies make the poor work hard so others can do nothing and/or exploit the poor even further for the lulz. Lies make up the majority of what you've been told your whole life.
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[edit] History
The lie was discovered by ancient Mayan people in search of Europeans to borrow all their excess gold. The Europeans did come one day and pwn the Mayans; history tells us whitey told them to STFU and subsequently GTFO in a polite and organized fashion. As they were getting pwnt, Prometheus bitchslapped the Europeans and gave humanity the gift of lying. Duh.
Once the theory of specific lieivity was published, it was only a matter of time before teh internets learned about the magical lie and its mysterious powers. Ever since, corruption, world starvation, and Mariah Carey have been unleashed on the Earth, ravaging everything in sight. This portion of the story is readily available in the Bible. It's next to all the other factual documentations of things that actually happened.
[edit] Common uses for lies
- The Cake
- Getting pu55y
- Getting cash
- Getting attention
- LJ
- Myspace
- Religion
- Winning all arguments.
- Covering up your secret furry fetish, you sick fuck.
- Having unprotected sex after being diagnosed with AIDS.
- Saying your power level is over 9000 when really it is far less.
- Poker.
- Getting friends.
- Staying out of jail.
- Should that fail, extending your nose to reach the keys to your cell.
- Saying you are a virgin 16 year old girl.
- A DIRTY NIGGER WHO JUST GOT CAUGHT RUNNING OUT OF FOOT LOCKER WITH A PAIR OF AIR JORDANS. AND WHEN YOU GOT CAUGHT YOU EXCLAIMED "CCSSHH!!!, NIGGA I BOUGHT DEAS SHOES" (see Theft)
- Getting your expendable test subject to try out your new weapon without telling her that she'll be dead by the end of the experiment (see: cake).
- Never Drinking Again.
- convincing others of almost rape.
- Saying you are not pregnant.
- Jews are people too.
- Sleeping with a 15 year old girl
[edit] Common users of lies
- Scifags
- darr
- Inmendham
- 16 year old girls
- Attention whores
- Jews
- Communists
- Weev
- Kevin Trudeau
- Trap-kun
- Lawyers
- Politicians
- Ryan Gentle
- That girl who told you it was of 'average size'.
- Wikipedia users
- Your mom
- Your dad
- GoddessMillenia
- Dead Rising - about having good AI
- Halo-About being the best game evar!!!11
- Ondore
- InSaNe-REYNARD
- PETA
- GLaDOS
- Anti-Emo Federation
- You when you said you thought she was 18
[edit] See also
- Encyclopædia Dramatica
- Scientology
- United States of America
- Bullshit
- Factual inaccuracy
- Fiction
- Defamation
- Nice try
- Sob Story
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Lie is part of a series on Language & Communication. |
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