Linkin Park

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Linkin Park's main source of income.

I'm about to break!

Linkin Park is a band that is known for having the most headache-inducing, screaming angst filled lyrics in history. This constant, pointless fake-rage makes them immensely popular with the current generation of depressed non-conforming spoiled teenagers living in the suburbs that think their lives are hard. They are known throughout the internets by being on nearly every Livejournal post (under "listening to"} and being the soundtrack to EVERY SINGLE AMV on JewTube. Linkin Park's incredible popularity with 13 year old boys and 16 year old girls is proof that this generation of kids are the biggest pussies/emos in history. Many diehard fans will make tl;dr arguments about how "Linkin Park is not emo", but this hilarious "argument" can be disproved by the first lyrics of "Crawling":

CRAAAAWWWWLLLING

IIIIIINNNN MY SKIIIIIIN

THESE WOOOOOOUNDS THEY

WIIIIIIIIL NOT HEEEEEEEEAL!!!

1 Lyrical Themes
2 Musical Attributes
3 Minutes To Midnight Pre-Release
4 Stupid Fucking Colorbar
5 External Links

[edit] Lyrical Themes

I wanna run away

Typical Linkin Park subject matter.

Linkin Park specializes in angst-ridden music about gay shit like depression, self injury, suicide, being ignored, being misunderstood, being grounded by dad, being fucked over, not being able to go to the junior high graduation dance, being bummed over, being one step closer to the edge, fainting, getting raped in the ass by daddy, being about to break and generally the individual suffering in an uncaring society of cruelty and ridicule. Every single word in every single Linking Park is a metaphor for either cocks or cock sucking. It is also extremely common for the average Linkin Park song to contain the word "myself" over 9000 times.

They first reached fame in 2000 with the single "One Step Closer", which has spawned at least 100 fanfictions [1]and a new wave of "emo-metallers" who specialize in denying to themselves and the rest of the world that they listen to what's essentially a boy band for maladjusted youth, showing the world how intellectual, deep, and misunderstood they are, and in writing ass-backwards Youtube essays about how innovative Linkin Park is for being the first and only band EVAR to successfully combine rap and rock.

[edit] Musical Attributes

Linkin Park fanart.

Linkin Park's painfully formulaic music generally consists of a simple synth melody (sometimes being spiced up with a flute or something OMG), which then launches into one of the three sets of grungy, heavily-distorted powerchord or drop-B chord progressions that they use for every song. That same chord progression basically repeats through the song, accompanied by the poppin' fresh rizzap of Mike Shinoda and the wistfully dulcet prepubescent/ever-so-tormented screaming vocals of Chester Bennington. Also, their drummer is a Jew, and thoroughly enjoys Lemon Party. If you don't believe that they are emo,listen to "Bleed It Out", though be warned. After listening to it you'd wish you had a time machine so that you could go back in time and kill yourself before listening to Bleed It Out and consequently becoming emo.

Many people have wondered what all the screaming is all about. Many Linkin Park fans were then butthurt over the following video (which incidentally wins on virtually every level, parodying the emotards without descending into unfunny ranting):

An overjoyed fanboi's reaction to the video:

“	lp is my favorite band okay and when i see this i just want to kome kick the shit out of you. Yer just saying you like LP becuz you don't want people to get mad. No true fan would do this shit. linkin park is the best band ever too bad you're 2 gay 2 realize that but shut the fuck up you're a fag if you diss lp plane and simple you deserve to go def because abvouslee you have no idea what good music is and i;ll b over ere with the smart people listening to lp. LP FORVER!!	„
—1PalPark, a bawwing weeaboo fag

Note how this rimjob enthusiast cleverly employs whimsically creative spelling of a few words in hopes that his horrid grammar and spelling will seem intentional.

This faggot just posted an overly emo video directed to all the "linkin park haters":

He really thinks that he pwnd LP haters with that masterpiece.

Be sure to check out the tags he used for his video: "Tags: linkin park numb haters owned palpark notemo rap rock"

Also note on his JewTube channel that he is a proud Tay Zonday subscriber. Not that you would expect any less from "the smart people". He has not logged on in a month, and it is widely believed he has become An hero.

Now for something completly diffrent.This is the true version of Numb:

[edit] Minutes To Midnight Pre-Release

Before their new album "Minutes to Midnight" could be released, the whole album was leaked, and over nine thousand teenagers committed suicide, because of the intensive whining from Chester Bennington and the band's decision to throw a few f-bombs on the album to "be cool".

The band told everyone on the internetz that this album was going to be their movement towards "progressive rock". While this album was different because of their new producer Rick Rubin (moar like JEWbin, cos he IS a Jew...amirite? ), he used his money making formula to make Linkin Park even moar emo than they were originally, by simply not letting Mike Shinoda do his hip-hop thing because Rick thought he was still involved with Fort Minor. The lead single from the album, "What I've Done" was used for the ending of the Transformers movie, thus ruining the entire movie.