Logic

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Indeed it is
Indeed it is

Logic is the most pathetic and ineffective tool to use against a troll.

Contents

[edit] History of Logic

Logic was invented by butthurt emo fags in order to make them feel useful, because they were (and still are) scrawny fucks who weren't capable of murdering people with rocks. However, everyone who isn't a complete idiot knows that said emo fags aren't useful, because making decisions based on anger, paranoia, and the amount of lulz produced is the only sound course of action. Eventually, the creators of logic were all raped to death by nigras. Logic was rediscovered by the Ancient Greeks as a useful tool for destroying Troy, inventing drama and having sex with boys.

It disappeared during the Alexandrian Conquest and was replaced with swords. This explains Alexander's answer to the Problem of the Knot.

Ironically, logic resurfaced in the Middle Ages predominately, ironically again, by Catholic Monks. The Catholic Church quickly put this new tool to use, using it to distract teh ignorant peasants while they buttraped their children.

The pinnacle of Logic brought us computers and the Internets. These handy tools allowed complete knobs to declare triumphantly that Logic does not work.

Logic used to be taught at schools until the Jews figured that the world would be easier to conquer if everybody else was stupid.

After the invention of the internet, some people decided to write absolutely brilliant statements about logic in this enyclopedia.

Shortly afterwards someone pointed out that the previous occurrence is in recent history.

[edit] Lolgic

Different than ordinary Logic. Lolgic is the ED approved form of correct logic, known as "lolgic". It is easy to differentiate between ordinary logic and lolgic as it has the correct amount of lulz. Examples

Major Premise Minor Premise Conclusion
You are a Christian evolution sux therefore you're a fat ugly retarded piece of shit Redneck Americunt who rapes 13-year-old boys, just like W.
You are a scientist evolution is fact therefore you're a Satan-worshipping furry liberal jew smart-ass who luvs to takes it up the ass.
You use Linux Windows sux therefore you are a fat anime-watching basement dwelling penguin-fucker who luvs to takes it up the ass and thinks they are better at computers than everyone.
You use Windows Linux sux therefore you are an emo Nazi script kiddie with a small dick who is too retarded to use real computers or teh internet but does anyway and takes out frustration by passing legislation that takes away everyone's lulz with DRM's.
You use Macintosh Windows and Linux sux therefore you are a whiny liberal hippie faggot who fails to admit that Bill Gates completely pwns your shitty system and that Steve Jobs is only out for your money by ripping you off with Macbook air.
You're black Fried Chicken is too expensive therefore you wish you were white people.
You're white There are too many niggers therefore you wish you were W.
You're asian Tits or GTFO therefore you have no tits and you are a slanty-eyed yellow piece of shit commie from japan with a slanty vagina who worships Santa Claus because you think he's the prodigal child of Jesus and Buddha.
You're hispanic Nuf said
You're a Jew you're not dead therefore go die in a hole you sub-human piece of shit.
You're a Muslim you're a man therefore you are a nigger with sand in your vagina (i.e. sand nigger).
You are a Christian you're a man Therefore you're STILL a fat ugly retarded piece of shit Redneck Americunt, and you also wish Jesus would fuck you up the ass
You are a /b/tard DESUDESUDESU Therefore you are a weeaboo sick fuck who spouts memes and causes others to suffer over the Internets for your own enjoyment.
You are a furry yiff yiff scritch murr Therefore you are a fat faggot who enjoys fucking others like you while in fursuits or drawing other furries engaging in buttsecks when you're not raping animals or stirring up Internets drama.

[edit] Syllogism

The likely foregoer of Cow-is-Table Logic (see below) in which two premises are combined to form a conclusion.

An example of syllogistic reasoning:

"God is love; Love is blind; Therefore, Ray Charles is God." -Richard Jeni, an hero

Notice the subtle differences between Syllogism and Lolgic. Any moron with common sense can see that lolgic thoroughly pwns syllogism.

Syllogism is used to Intellectually Checkmate trolls, but fails.

[edit] Women

Women are teh opposites of logic. This has perplexed intellectuals since the early the Victorian Era. At the time, it was believed that women lacked the ability to use logic because they were insatiably horny and motivated solely by their desire have sex and die at thirty-four, giving birth to their two-dozenth child. It was thought that without constant supervision, a woman would be seduced by the first bounder who got her alone and told her as long as they kept their clothes mostly on, it didn't count as sex.

While this is still very true, this stereotype has reversed itself in the 21st Century due largely to a massive PR campaign by the feminazis. Women are wrongly perceived as analytical communicators with a gift for nagging their opponents into submission. In actuality, women are mostly like men who are overly-furred animals who like to eat, get drunk, fuck, and hit things, not necessarily in that order.

The appropriate counter-argument to women is the cunt punt.

Typical Example of Woman Logic:

[edit] Men

It is thought that jews like Einstein invented logic. So according to correct lolgic:

Major Premise Minor Premise Conclusion
Jews are not human men are human therefore men are teh opposites of logic

Typical Example of Man logic:

Note the use of epic lulz.

[edit] Gurlfriend's Wager

Gurlfriend's Wager
Gurlfriend's Wager

For the most part, logic and lulz are inversely related.

"The growth of lulzdom may be gauged exactly by the diminution of wise temper" (Wager's boyfriend)

[edit] Logic in LiveJournal Political Communities

[edit] Inductive Reasoning

Many retards use inductive reasoning to prove their point. In an argument, do not draw attention to this fact, as they do not know what inductive reasoning means or why it is wrong.

An example of inductive reasoning:

This particular base in this particular area are belonging to us, therefore all your base are belong to us.

[edit] Cow-is-Table Logic

Similar to Inductive Reasoning, but taken a step further. Cow-is-table logic is when you make two sensible points, and combine them in a stupid manner.

An example of cow-is-table logic:

Tables have four legs; cows have four legs; therefore tables must be cows.

[edit] Christian and Atheist Logic

Both sides of the God argument are guilty of using really crappy-ass logic. If you really want to beat a Bible Thumper in a debate, then it might help to go over these logical fallacies.

[edit] Appeal to Ignorance

Ah, the ol' Intelligent Design argument. Just because there is no proof that something is false, then it must be true.

  • There is no proof that God does not exist
  • Therefore, God must exist

Appeal to Ignorance also works both ways. If there is no proof that something is true, then it must be false.

  • There is no absolute proof that the universe was created by a Big Bang
  • Therefore, the Big Bang never happened

[edit] Circular Logic

The most common logical fallacy, it happens when the conclusion reiterates the premises that supported it. In other words, its like saying that you were right to begin with (and you weren't). More info can be found here.

  • The Bible says that God exists
  • The Bible was written by God
  • Therefore, God exists

You just can't shove God in there at any time, you need to prove both points independently before putting them together.

  • Unborn babies have a right to life
  • Killing something with a right to life is the same as murder
  • Therefore, abortion is murder

[edit] False Dilemma

Bill O'Reilly loves this one. It basically rules out the possibility of a neutral opinion on a topic by forcing you to pick one or the other.

Another form of the false dilemma is the Trick Question, another Bill O'Reilly favourite. Here, you can't give a response without proving your opponent's point.

[edit] Generalisation

If it wasn't for this logical fallacy, then stereotypes would not exist. In fact, Encyclopedia Dramatica would not exist either! Be thankful for this wonderful fallacy.

As true as that statement may be, it won't hold up very well in a real argument.

[edit] Tu Quoque

The opposite of NO U, here a statement is justified simply because something else would just so happen to agree with it.

  • Christians are responsible for killing people during the Crusades and the Inquisition
  • Atheists are responsible for killing people in Eastern Europe during the Cold War
  • Atheists are just as guilty as Christians when it comes to killing people

On the surface, this looks like a valid argument, but according to the evidence given, it is unknown if there really is a causal connection between Atheism and genocide (and there isn't).

Another form of Tu Quoque is the Bandwagon Argument in which the validity of a premise is determined by its popularity.

  • There are lots of religions
  • There are few forms of atheism
  • Therefore, there is a greater chance of one religion being true

[edit] Fallacist's Fallacy

Also known as the Fuck You Fallacy or the Intellectual Checkmate and its commonly used by Atheists and Smugfag. Instead of debating the argument one premise at a time, you just blow it off completely just because one premise happens to be fallacious.

  • Christfags say that Heaven must exist because no proof suggests otherwise
  • That statement is an Appeal to Ignorance
  • Therefore, Heaven must not exist
  • You just got Intellectually Checkmated

[edit] Weak Analogy

Also known as Lousy-ass Analogy, Bullshit Analogy, or Anal-orgy. It happens when you actually do discover a connection between two premises but then assume that they share another connection. The entire concept of Intelligent Design is based on this exact proposition.

  • The universe has both simple parts and complex parts
  • A common wristwatch has simple and complex parts
  • All wristwatches are products of a creator
  • Therefore, the universe must be the product of a creator

[edit] See also

Image:Little Troll.gif Logic is part of a series on Trolls.





Logic
is part of a series on
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